Since I'm waxing nostalgic over my 'trucking daze' tonight, and since I said my Z50/140 would blow doors on that Mini Trail pictured above, I'll tell y'all a funny little anecdote... I was shut down for the evening on a Friday or Saturday night at the Hook (or Flying J Travel Plaza, a.k.a. the Flyin' Hook) on the West Side of OKC, partying with hundreds of other drivers as we all relaxed and unwound after another long day. In those days, you weren't drinking alone in your truck, you were part of a giant "radio bar" with hundreds of truckers in all stages of inebriation squawking over the CB radio, right? You had the CB Rambos arguing & cussing, the dope peddlers ("Who wants the green? Who wants the white?"), the lot lizards (or hookers, for those of you unfamiliar with the term) slinging their wares, the trucking-related service outfits and private parties advertising over the CB for truck washes, service, tires, tank & wheel polishing, etc., just one ginormous radio clusterf#% where the hand with the most powerful radio walked all over everybody else. I'm trying to establish the setting here, you understand, lol... my friends and I actually called the Hook "Circus Maximus" when it went off on weekends, and I always made a point of shutting down there whenever possible, just for the entertainment value, lol.
Anyway, some truckers would joke around in good-natured fashion, swapping lies & making imaginary trade deals, like bartering but with totally fake items, lol. You'd hear about "solar-powered flashlights" and "cordless extension cords" and "DVD rewinders"---all kinds of ridiculous BS which was actually pretty funny if you were 6 or 7 beers deep, lol. Well, two hands struck up one of these conversations, and after one made the other some sort of ridiculous trade offer, the second driver/trader hollered: "I'LL GIVE YA A PAIR OF LOAD LOCKS FOR A FLATBED, AND I'LL THROW IN A COUPLE OF MOTORCYCLE DOORS!!!" Lol. Those clowns were so damned funny, and ya heard stuff over the CB that you would NEVER hear ANYWHERE else, guaranteed! Trucking was a 'separate reality' in those days, and that lighthearted convo often helped ease tension after a long day on the road dealing with everything that truckers dealt with then and probably still deal with to this day. Lol... "MOTORCYCLE DOORS!!!" Who would've THUNK it?
One time, some old hand keyed up who sounded like he had been driving since dinosaurs roamed the earth, and he had a BIG OL' CHICKEN RADIO so he could WALK ALL OVER EVERYONE ELSE, right? So this old gent keys his mike, then says in a classic old school country voice: "Can anybody out there tell me if this here radio is working?" But here's the catch: he kept his mike keyed, so NOBODY could reply, and after about 15 or 20 seconds of silence---a RARITY at the Hook on a Friday or Saturday night, believe me---the old gent then said, "WELL, I GUESS IT AIN'T WORKING." He then released his mike key, and a veritable FLOOD, a TORRENT of squawking and VERBAL ABUSE ensued, lol. That ol' guy was FUNNY, lol... and he knew EXACTLY what he was doing, BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Damn. Some people's kids!!!
On another occasion, some old hand made an uncomplimentary remark after a lot lizard keyed up to sling her wares, and the lot lizard replied: "SHUT UP, YOU OLD @$$HOLE!!!" The driver came back with this response: "WELL, I THANK YA... THAT'S THE NICEST THING ANYBODY HAS SAID TO ME ALL DAY!!!" BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Another hilarious truck driver breaking up the monotony at the Flyin' Hook. I was one of those hands too, since I have my comical side. Two CB Rambos were arguing one night, slinging all kinds of verbal abuse and making derogatory remarks to one another, as CB Rambos will do... one driver told the other, "SHUT UP, STUPID!!!" I had been waiting for this very moment, mike in hand and ready to key up, and before anybody else could get a word in edge-wise, I hollered: "YEAH, YOU GOT STUPID!!! GO AHEAD!!!" Lol... I heard a bunch of other drivers laughing over the CB afterward. Hey, cheap entertainment while you're pounding a 12-pack o' beer on ice in your truck, 10-4?
I actually SILENCED that entire radio bar & clusterf#% one night when two other CB Rambos got into a fight on the airwaves. Remember, it wasn't just the truckers parked at the Hook, you had a truck stop on every corner of that exit (which was Morgan Road, Exit 140 on I-40 in Oklahoma), plus you had truckers in nearby company yards who were shut down for the night but still surreptitiously drinking beer, lol. I know, because I've done it myself, lol. Anyway, these two CB Rambos had reached the point where one claimed he was gonna kick the other driver's @$$, right? He keyed his mike and hollered: "WHERE YOU AT? I'M GONNA KICK YOUR @$$!!!" Of course, I had been waiting for this very moment, mike in hand, and I instantly keyed up and said: "THE GRAMMATICALLY-CORRECT INTERROGATIVE IS 'WHERE ARE YOU?' " Boy, did that line throw a monkey wrench into everybody's plans, lol... a whole 5 seconds of silence ensued, a friggin' ETERNITY at the Hook on a Friday or Saturday night, as hundreds of drunken fooliots tried to process what I had just said, lol. Then the original combatant or CB Rambo replied (to me): "SHUT UP, STUPID!!!" And to the other driver: "WHERE YOU AT? I'M GONNA KICK YOUR @$$!!!" Ah, to be so unappreciated in my endeavors at edumacation, lol.
Meh, that's enough on that subject for awhile, I gotta grab another cold one, I've only had two so far, including that one I had this morning while posting the earlier pics in this thread. But here's a link to a blog on the whole scene at the Hook back in the day, it was the Wild, Wild West for a number of years before it got tamed down, lol. Blogs like this one capture the spirit of the place in the old days... nobody else would ever write about it, so I felt obliged, lol. Enjoy the separate reality known as OTR or Over-The-Road truck driving back in the day... it sure was an eye-opener for rookie drivers who were getting their first taste of it, lol. As one driver told me one night while we were partying together in his truck, "THERE'S TOO MUCH FREEDOM OUT THERE!!!" And he was right, at least in THOSE days, lol. I'm sure glad I went trucking when I did and not only saw the country, but became "culturally enriched" in the process, BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Enjoy this short blog, it's pretty funny...
A Classic Footrace
P.S. Backlash, if you haven't seen the submarine yet, scroll back to the car show pics until ya find it, lol. Cheers!!!
