Guide to step-parenting?

[Alexandra]

A little more than a year ago, I became a stepmother of two. Now, while biological parents are being offered courses and "coaching", we as step-parents are offered nothing.

Yes, I know the kids aren't mine. Yes, I am well aware that I am quite young.

And Yes, I DO care about them and want to do my best. I have seriously more to prove than their biological parents. After all, I am no older than 19 myself. We co-parent because don't want them to trust their step-parents less than their biological.


My boyfriend thinks I am doing a great job. We have clear rules of what is allowed and what's not, the kids seems to like me (the oldest is now 6 and the youngest is turning 2 coming July), I tell my boyfriend when he is falsely scolding them and I do so in front of the kids so they know that I am not turning a blind eye.
The oldest asks me to play with her and so does the youngest (in her own way: grabbing my finger and pulling towards the toys). I also change diapers on the youngest, and trying to learn how they are as children.

Seriously, when you don't see them more than every other weekend and once a week, this is TOUGH.

The kids are not mine, and yet I need to rely mainly on parental instinct I shouldn't have at the childless age of 18-19. Other people at my age are out every weekend getting drunk while I sit at home either with kids or planning the next weekend.

My question is really about parenting and how the heck I am supposed to cope with this. I feel like I have lasers pointing at my head, ready to fire if a make wrong choice. I know this is my own choice, but it's hard.

Any advice?

 

[Brent S]

I have raised 4 children, 2 biological and two step kids. The best I can tell you is hang in there. There will be good days and bad ones. The kids are often easier than dealing with the exes. All I am sure of is be honest with them, listen to them, and be there when they need you. The rest will work itself out. My two step children have turned out to be really good friends now that they are grown, and are closer to me now than my biological ones. Good luck!

 

[Maverick]

I have 4 bio kids and two step kids, both the step kids are young enough to be my oldest daughters kids, my Wife is just two year older than my oldest. I have no answers except that the house has rules and that the adults and house will not be disrespected aside from that, be yourself and don't walk on egg shells. There really is no instruction manual to parenting and most that exist are really full of shxt! I assume your boyfriend wanted to be with you for a reason and I'm pretty sure it's because of who you are so just be yourself, don't try to be perfect parent there be no such critter Besides your boy friend sees no problem!

 

[jontte]

be yourself,clear rules and lots of love.
and as Maverick said;those parenting manuals are shxt,just follow your own gut instinct and more love

 

[Alexandra]

Thanks guys. We agree on the rules and my beloved and I both enforce them. This tiny, somewhat messed up family means more to me than anything else.

But do any of you have ideas for dinner, snacks and ways to keep them occupied (besides that freaking tv) for kids between the age of 2 and 6? The youngest LOVE yoghurt, but the ammount of sugar is too damn high.

 

[Dani]

Even though you may not have physically given birth to these youngster does not matter, at least in my book. . .it's the mothering you can give that will influence their life in so many ways. For me, it was getting them involved with the critters, cats, dogs, goats, cows, whatever you have around. Then getting them involved with the garden. Teach them at a young age where their food comes from. Here we raise our food, including the protein of meat. The kids were not a part of this process since we just started that in the last few years, but the grandkids will be. It gets them outside and teaches them a thing or two. Then teach them how to process for storage in the long run. Freezer, canning, smoking, salting, whatever you do.

 

[Dani]

The youngest kids, one of mine and one of his, have both been involved with canning. One of our family traditions were going boating down the river slew in search of Mayhaws. Then coming home to make jelly. We would also take them fishing, come home to process and then I would make a special dinner of seafood stuffing for whatever fish was caught. When it was a Red, even better.

 

[jontte]

for snacks,try make with them home made granola bars,okay with a 2yr old it might be somewhat hard sometimes,but kids love when you do stuff together

 

[Gazrok]

But do any of you have ideas for dinner, snacks and ways to keep them occupied (besides that freaking tv) for kids between the age of 2 and 6? The youngest LOVE yoghurt, but the ammount of sugar is too damn high.

Dinner:
Chicken Nuggets
Franks N Beans
Spaghetti and Meatballs
Pizza (especially the make your own mini pizzas)
Corn Dogs

Snacks:
Fresh fruit
Fruit snacks (like gummy bear type)
Sugar Free Pudding (honest, you won't taste the difference, neither will they)
Sugar Free Jello
Occasional sweets (not bad in general, just moderation)
Goldfish crackers
Teddy Grahams
Popsicles (even sugar free)
Ice Cream (again, sugar and fat free options)

Things to do:
Board games in their age group
Play some video games with them (the Lego series games are especially fun), or some of the Nintendo ones. Especially the kind where you physically move.
Games like hide and seek
Take them to a playground (or a McDonalds, etc. with a playground, hehe)
Take them to a park
Go to a zoo
Age appropriate craft and art projects (check your local crafts store)

In no time, you'll be the FUN parents....