the pesky telemarketer

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jimLE

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deep east texas
the pesky telemarketer
The phone rang as I was sitting down to my anticipated evening meal and, as I answered, I was greeted with, "Is this Wilhiam Wagenhoss?"

This didn't sound anything like my name, so I asked, "Who is calling?"

The telemarketer said he was with The Rubberband-Powered Freezer Company or something like that and then I asked him if he knew Wilhiam personally and why was he was calling this number. I then said, off to the side, "Get really good pictures of the body and all the blood."

I then turned back to the phone and advised the caller that he had entered a murder scene and must stay on the line because we had already traced this call and he would be receiving a summons to appear in the local courthouse to testify in this murder case.

I then questioned the caller at great length as to his name, address, phone number at home, at work, who he worked for, how he knew the dead guy and could he prove where he had been about one hour before he made this call. The telemarketer was getting very concerned and his answers were given in a shaky voice.

Then I proceeded to tell him that we had located his position at his work place and the police were entering the building to take him into custody. At that point, I heard the phone fall and the scurrying of his running away.

My wife asked me, as I returned to the table, why I had tears streaming down my face and so help me, I couldn't tell her for about fifteen minutes.

My meal was cold, but oh-so-very enjoyable.
 
I usually just tell them that so-and-so is dead, or in the hospital.
I use this on wrong numbers too.
 
Will definitely try that one out. Normally, I am just the "I'm not interested" and hang up with them still talking. Hunny will let them talk and talk and then say not interested. Sorry, my time is precious, but think that scenario may just be worth taking my time. . . :)
 
My Father in Law used to keep one of those air horns in a can next to the phone for those "special" calls.
 
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