15 yo grandson and prepping

[Ginger]

I will start with addressing the "lost cause"...#1...there is an exception to every rule. And I have witnessed that up close and personal. Hubby (a trucker gone for seasons at a time) and I ran a "halfway" home for single parents for several years...most who came through our doors left better than they arrived. There are several examples that if you want stability and are given the chance, you develop stability. #2...If all you hear is that you are "a lost cause" then usually "self fulfilling prophecy" comes into play. Most people are influenced by their environment. Children are not given the chance, most of the time, to see "both sides of the coin". It is up to the adults to show both sides depending on the situation and maturity level of the child. And if the adults are not willing to invest in the child then that's what the child learns...pretty much nothing is worth investing in.

I plan on teaching this child (and reality says a 15 year old is still a child for the most part mentally and emotionally) to be self sufficient. To learn that we all have common needs and how we go about meeting those needs are usually what sets us apart. The "going to the grocery store" for chicken vs. the feeding, caring and then dispatching, plucking and cooking said chicken mentality. To understand death is just as much a part of life as living is.

Granted...I may fail miserably and not "help" this child reach a level of self sufficiently but it will not be because I lumped him into the "lost cause" category. And for the ones here who see this as a lost cause I still need practical ideas of what a 15 year old boy might like to learn! All I have ever raised are girls! And I am married to the "baby" of seven siblings who doesn't understand the principle differences between fishing for a man vs. teaching the man to fish!

 

[jontte]

a boy of that age might be fascinated by the outdoors, camping, fishing, getting the feeling " hey I can do this,this is fun",
boys mature to 25 yrs,so you have 10 yrs to mold this young boy to a responsible man, we all want stability, so you do have a chance with this boy, kids needs guidance and rules and I strongly belive you can give both..
"teach that man to fish and he will provide for him self"..someone once said something similar, those who are better with the Big Book, might know who..

 

[lonewolf]

I doubt if an Urban 15 year old brought up in a druggie household has any knowledge of camping and fishing and more over is probably frightened of the countryside and wildlife, I know many over here are and thats without the drugs!!
and not just the children either.

 

[Amish Heart]

Most city 15 yr olds love video games and garbage on the internet, so we keep that to a minimum because it's not healthy, or real life. Our grandson really got into camping, became an expert on know tying. As he matured and could be trusted, we started target practicing with a 22, and he has a bow now that he's good with. He's a capable chicken, turkey, duck, rabbit butcherer. Likes to drive the Polaris Ranger around our property. He is an avid reader now, and enjoys sci fi and unusual reads. That was a big deal, since he could barely read when he came to us over 5 yrs ago. Right now, he's working on earning $$, because he wants to buy his own pickup truck. He is in charge of the woodburning stove that heats our farmhouse. Splitting wood, keeping the bins full, cleaning it out. He starts a fire late afternoon and keeps it going. We have a very large lake about 15 miles out that is good for fishing. Skateboarding is a big thing for him, and our farm has cemented open barns and cow ramps that are not in use for animals at the moment, so he has set up quite a skate park. He loves band, I made him take it in Middle School, and he now plays 4 instruments. He has a friend that comes over and they play guitars together.

 

[Illini Warrior]

News today, Reading, Berkshire, UK.
5 Children-4 boys and 1 girl- all aged 13 and 14- have just been arrested for the stabbing murder of another boy also aged 13.
here we call these "Feral's" and they are totally out of control by this age and seem to have no fear or regret for what they have done.
this is by no means an isolated incident, knife crime in the more populated areas of the UK is more common than shooting incidents.
45,600 incidents of knife crime were reported in 2019, up 7% from the year before.

unfortunately - 13-14 old shooters in the US is fairly common - gangs recruit them just for that purpose >>> had a 9MM wielding 10 year old McDs robber not long ago ....

 

[lonewolf]

yep, by the time they get to that age they are usually so heavily into the gang and drug scene that it is impossible to rehabilitate them, the gangs use 10 year olds for drug runners.
the gangs are their family not their parents.
these are the ones over here that are called "problem" families and they have more than one problem.
not saying all teenagers are like that but the ones that get involved in the drug and gang scene are.

 

[Amish Heart]

I'd say that they need to be taken out of the city environment to make a difference. The cities are a mess here, and also terrible in England. No jobs, food shortages, people going broke. Being in a city during this slow SHTF will turn many young men into gang criminals. But not so for all young men, and if you have a rural grandma who loves this young man, it is worth a try. I'm in a rural Amish/Mennonite community and people here are polite, hardworking, and follow Christian principles. Couldn't imagine a 15 yr old boy in NY, being told to stay in a tiny apartment for a year, no school, no purpose, no excitement. Imagine cities in England would be the same setting Big Paul. This is not natural for anybody, let alone a teenager.

 

[lonewolf]

your quite right about that Amish Heart, there are a lot of people over here who have mental health problems because of the lockdowns,
not yours truly I thrive on isolation, I'm not a "social" animal except on forums!

 

[Petoski]

My advice would be to find what are the child's interests are. No matter what they are, they are his motivation. Use those interests to get him to learn the other skills he is lacking and build structure around it. Attention is attention, good or bad and people crave it.

 

[Amish Heart]

And suggest stuff to try even if he doesn't want to. Grandson didn't want to try Boy Scouts years ago. We made him, and he loved it. Didn't want to try band, either, and he is quite the musician now. I'd tell him to try for 3 months, and if he hated it, he could do something else. What we're working on now is looking for apprentice opportunities in the community. It is common here for teenage boys to learn from their dads or other family members how to do stuff: welding, farm work, cabinetry...and since we are grandparents, that doesn't happen. The Amish neighbor is good in that he'll ask grandson for help with something on the weekends (and I know he doesn't need the help really), but it gives our grandson the experience and some knowledge. He wants to be a welder at the moment.

 

[GaRp58]

He asked to come and that gives me hope!

You already have a winning hand in the situation!! HE ASKED TO COME!!! That tells you everything, he knows what to expect, knows what you want and already trusts you to help him get up on his feet!!!
Use your already built foundation to set up the walls of a disciplined life and set the roof on exactly those walls to complete the road on his way to being a good human. Fill his cup full of love, what overflows....
is your reward!! God bless you for taking on one of the hardest tasks of a lifetime, producing good adults to run this poor old run-down world which is tired of failures and lazy kids who chose to be so. Gary

 

[Dani]

Hi Dani! I think you meant “Ginger”. Thankfully, my grandchildren are all doing well And in loving homes with parents who understand children need lots of rules and chores. Most are homeschooled and the ones not are in private school.

I will keep Ginger and her family in my prayers.

Aww yes you are correct! Sorry about that. In my head I saw a "G" and associated it with you but meant Ginger.

 

[Mountain trapper]

I never did like that BS government program; "No child left behind". I think some children should be left behind. Focus on those kids that have potential.

 

[Jayson]

I never did like that BS government program; "No child left behind". I think some children should be left behind. Focus on those kids that have potential.

Yup. That’s the way it is in the real world jungle of business. Those who can’t cut it get thrown by the wayside.

 

[Mountain trapper]

Yup. That’s the way it is in the real world jungle of business. Those who can’t cut it get thrown by the wayside.

Its a tough world out there. The strong survive and prosper, the weak go on a government program.

 

[Ginger]

Thank you all for the good and even the bad. Your time and energy to respond is very much appreciated! This child is worth every minute of my time and I will do my best to help make a good, kind, level headed man out of him! I will keep this post going through the good and even the bad and maybe even show it to him someday if I feel it is appropriate!

 

[Jayson]

Its a tough world out there. The strong survive and prosper, the weak and lazy go on a government program.

I added 2 words....

 

[Amish Heart]

You will do fine, Ginger, because you love him and are willing to try. Some days you'll be pulling your hair out, but not every day. I went through all day today without telling any of the three to knock it off. They were all kind and helpful today.