Anybody else regret moving to the country?

[Patchouli]

@Hooch sometimes when we post stuff, suggestions to a specific person, we have no idea how it might be helping another person. You're an amazing person.

 

[Hooch]

Wow..thank you.
I hope it helps her if she needs it. I didn't want to come across as harsh or negative..but as a motivator for her to find her grit n make her ancestors proud.
We all need a boost sometimes especially when we're feeling out of place.
If this sister can handle city life..she might learn to love the serenity of the wild side..

 

[angie_nrs]

Where we moved to you're not allowed to shoot bears! That's another thing that troubled me. I love animals - but from afar. What are we to do if a bear shows up? One just broke into a senior woman's house in CA and killed her. I think he broke the door down.

This story alarmed me:

I wouldn't worry too much about that. The chances of something like that happening are pretty darned slim. I'm sure you'd hear that bear coming before he tore through the door. If something like that happens.....shoot! You are allowed personal defense against anyone or anything if you feel your life is in danger.

That brings you back to guns that you aren't comfortable with. Personally, I'd start with a .22 pistol like Amish suggested. For me, pistols are much less threatening than a rifle or shotgun. My first .22 pistol was a buckmark and I still love to shoot it. It's very non-threatening (no kick), easy to operate, and accurate as all get out! If the coyotes get too close, you can shoot that their way and they won't be around long. They really don't like getting shot at. You might find (like many on this forum) that shooting is very cathartic and relaxing. Wear some ear and eye protection and shoot to your hearts content. .22 rounds are cheap and it's a great place to start for a new shooter. Just be careful.......soon you'll want more guns......and then some more. Then on lazy days, you'll get a brilliant idea......hey hon, lets go shoot a few rounds, eh? I'd suggest taking a gun safety course that your local gun shop can set you up with. Just tell them your situation and they'll help you out. After all, they want you to come back to their store.

For the problems you're having.....tackle one at a time. You'll get there. I think you might be having a bout of home sickness. I'm sure you miss the people and things that were familiar to you. I grew up fairly rural and am in a spot now that's fairly rural, although getting more populated every year We still have a good chunk of property though and I would never want to live right next to someone. I'd likely have some issues if you took me out of my home and made me live in a city. I would not be a happy camper. I hope you get it figured out and that you can be happy where you are.

 

[Tirediron]

Bass pro has a little lazer shooting range , the rifles a Cooey .22s with the lazer in the barrel, a cheap and friendly way to handle a small rifle. the local ones keep the sights accurate

 

[shanrose]

We have been here 8 years , and live in a crappy house built in the 1940s and are dirt poor farmers now BUT there is no way in hell I would want to move back to a large city ( we lived in Orlando) , or even smaller one. If the shape of your house is important, lol, yeah, you must be a city person....
I hate having neighbors right next door, I hate not having room, city traffic, planes flying over the house, people everywhere, plus the expense of living there. Oh and light everywhere all the time, You can't block it out of the bedroom no matter what.
Now we have our own hiking trail up our own mountain, food walking around on the pasture ( and in the backyard , sheep are mowing there today) , closest neighbor 1\4 mile away, most are Amish. Varmints can be shot or trapped if they bother you or your animals if you have any . No city people telling you what shape your house must be in either . Never seen a police car in our neighborhood at all and we don't lock our doors ( there are no functioning locks)
LOL, you would hate our livestyle! We have sometimes dirty ( when it rains a lot) spring water coming off the mountain, sometimes there is no pressure if one of the neighbors forgets to close a hydrant or something. I cook on a woodstove in winter, our water is heated through that also ( cold water only in summer) and I cook outside on the porch in summer on a propane stove. The house sometimes is 40 degrees in the morning in winter until you get the stove going ( carry wood inside, pile it in the stove , light it)
No ac either of course, and limited electric

Well we aren't all that far off from how you're living. We do have heat and a/c but the garage is quite a walk away and when it rains mud slides down from the garage area towards the house. Bad design. They should have built the house on the hill. No matter how many times I mop the floors that orange dirt keeps coming up. We have one elderly neighbor across the street. We have to drive 45 mins. to get to a store. We are surrounded by deer, fox, coyotes, snakes, squirrels, and some kind of bobcat we caught on the trail cam. They come right up and eat persimmons off my tree. The coyotes howl outside our house at night. Our fridge conked out and we couldn't get a repairman to come here so hub fixed it. A tornado just hit our property yanking out HUGE trees that fell across our dirt driveway. Hubby couldn't even move them with his tractor. He had to chainsaw the trees. The tornado ripped trees out, SKIPPED OUR HOUSE and touched down the side of our property leveling HUGE trees. God must have been watching over us. I've never lived with tornados before so that's something else that's new.

We were fortunate in that we had great neighbors where we lived. I miss them and being able to walk out and say hi. The boy across the street would trot over and help me bring in groceries. He actually cried when we moved so that weighed on me.

I don't know where we'll end up. I'm on the fence. Told my hub we should have done this 20 years ago. He's always wanted to live at the shore so we're considering Florida - but he also loves it here. Me not so much. I think it shows distinct differences between men and women - men like dealing with wildlife and tractors and such.

 

[shanrose]

Yes, but look at your place as your haven. You can change things there and make them like you want to. It's your place, your world. The city is not like that.
I was reluctant to learn to shoot, till I saw the need. About 15 yrs ago. I was scared to death. I remember looking at my first gun (a 45 smith and wesson) and decided that I was going to love that gun. I carried it with me around the house (unloaded for a long time) practiced dry firing, until I got really good at shooting it (with some lessons). It's good to get very comfortable with a firearm. Start with a 22 if you have one. Our little granddaughter shoots a 22 no problem. I've taught a number of women how to shoot and always start with a 22, moving up to a 9 mil. Don't let a guy get all macho on you and hand you a high caliber handgun or rifle for the first time, then laugh when it scares the daylights out of you. None of that. Guns are great for us older ladies. They are truly the great equalizer. Learn to shoot and you'll learn to love it. Other places to learn stuff for ladies....BOW groups...look those up. I'd go for a 3 day trip and bring our 3 daughters. (Becoming an Outdoor Woman). Great fun, did it for years.

I get nervous when my hub hands me a loaded gun. I'm just not comfortable enough with them yet but I know we need an equalizer. At our old house I was jogging the block and it was very rural with few houses around. There was a guy standing on the corner and I did not like the way he looked at me. Women know! It's that sixth sense kicking in. So I kept jogging and waved ahead like I was meeting companions. I wish I thought that quickly all the time. But I asked hub to take me shooting in the next few days. I still feel queasy about shooting any of God's creatures but will ask my hub to do it. He's used to catching the mice and spiders.

 

[shanrose]

I put some Dawn dish detergent in a spray bottle, added water. I shoot at wasps, etc. with it and they are dead within seconds. I also sprayed the beginning nest/hive thingy and they all died within a short period. I hate using poisons.

I hate using poisons too. My in-laws had a house at the shore and my father-in-law had sprayed Raid or something. I woke in the middle of the night in hives and we had to get up and leave. I generally prefer less toxic products.

 

[shanrose]

A reality check is what you need to do, are you willing to trade convenience for freedom to live in an environment where your life is what you make it yourself?

It can be as hard as you want it to be if you have means to buy the things it takes to make the work easy.

A tractor with a cab and air and implements to do the needed jobs, some type of excavator, I prefer a Backhoe because of mobility with a cab, extendahoe and hydraulic thumb 12" and 36" buckets and a 4in1 front bucket, a bulk fuel tank to top off every time it gats below 3/4 with the proper knowledge to maintain it. If you are going to do a larger crop type operation.

A good shop building and equipment shed to store and protect the equipment from the elements.

Tools to maintain everything you have and the means to transport them if need be.

So if you are going to live by mail order you need to be able to go to the post office in any type of weather.

If you are not able to adjust to the safety of living in the country that leaving the thugs behind affords you just do some real research on AT

This link,

https://www.city-data.com/

it gives average reports on many aspects of most any city you wish to explore.

I live in a semi country environment with very little crime, yet we do have a board of supervisors who are political and somewhat out of touch with a "RESORT" mentality.

That's the crux of it: I'm feeling the pull back to the city or wondering if I just need to adapt. I wondered if others went through that dilemma.

Hubby has a tractor with air, and can fix most anything. He loves it here as he gets to play with the toys he used to work with at his job.

I believe that crime will worsen in the cities which is why we made the move. They've opened the border and all these people are coming in. A beautiful young lady I know was surrounded by a gang of them and they wouldn't let her get in her car. She gave the leader her phone # and said she'd get with him later and they let her go. Of course she didn't give him the right phone #. So we're being made unsafe in every way. No matter how much Americans complain they've kept the border open. I talked with a pastor who had to sit as a juror on an MS-13 case and he told me he wished he had never heard the things he did.

A family member is dating a woman from south of the border who is very nice - or seems nice. We let them temporarily stay in our old house as we haven't sold it yet but I became wary of the legalities - afraid that she would claim permanent residency so I told him they could only stay a few weeks.

But it's a tough call. I feel pulled in both directions and it doesn't feel very good. We haven't been here long so maybe it's just an adjustment - I don't know.

 

[shanrose]

I grew up in the sticks and can only relate in that that’s how I felt when I moved to town. I struggled. As awful as coyotes are, I trust them far more than humans. It’s a lifestyle change. “The country” is often romanticized, but like any other place has its pros and cons. As far as the house, if you want to PM me a pencil sketch of the layout, I can look at it and see if I can find some ideas for you for storage. I’m not a pro by any means, but I do enjoy creating and playing with house plans.

I hear you - humans have grown untrustworthy - by design. The morals in America have plummeted. Wasn't that way back in the day when I was growing up. You're right about the pros and cons. Thanks for the offer re storage! My hubby worked in construction his whole life and was going to re-design the bathroom and laundry but I'm afraid to spend the $$$. I just don't know if we sink money into this place if we'll ever get it out if we sell. So I'm stuck in this uncomfortable in-between position. I can't find anything - boxes are everywhere - which adds to my frustration. I'm not young anymore and just don't have the stamina that I once did. I wanted to move to Florida years ago but hub loved his job and refused.

I loved our old neighborhood. When I got out of the hospital after a doctor damaged me, my neighbor cooked me meals and brought them over. So I miss the security of neighbors too. We all helped each other. Sigh. Tough decision.

 

[shanrose]

Alot of helpful advice already..

I won't rewrite what I've read and agree with regarding what others have pointed out.

When I read your posts, I'm not getting the impression that  you have not empowered yourself to take the bull by the horns in much of any part of your journey.

This is not meant as a criticism..just the impression and observation that I'm getting from how you are protraying yourself and situation.

Maybe life has found you always being taken cared of?

Leaving actionable decisions for your husband to work out or to teach to you is how you roll usually maybe?? and now your stuck in a position way out of your comfort zone and not used to solving issues?

Grit..
....it's that characteristic that saw our ancestors through hard times..

Mrs. Shanrose..somewhere in your DNA..your great grandma and other ancestors had the grit and determination to survive hardships most of us today would struggle enduring.

I think and hope that this transition of your physical location and acclimating to your new surroundings and experiences becomes also a transition of mindset for you as well.

If you truly believe what is comming down the road in regards of what our government plans...you will find enduring the hardships we will face in our future will be more tolerable if you give yourself permission to empower yourself now.

Things can be scarry..get used to it n face it boldly..
Information is power..be informed..learn stuff..
Learn to fail..get used to it..get back up n try again..
Learn to not ask for permission..just do it.

Again..I don't mean this as a criticism and I hope you can learn from folks here to make your life and country transition better.
If my impression is all wrong I'm sorry..

If you knew some of the situations that I have dealt with you would know that this old gal is tougher than nails - at times tougher than my 6' 1" hub. However, I do lack confidence when it comes to handling guns and I don't like anything that creeps and crawls. (I think it's a female thing) I also have a very soft heart for animals - which is why I don't eat them. So as far as shooting them I would prefer that my hubby do it as I believe that men and women are built differently, no matter what the current pundits try to say. So my hub and I do have traditional type roles, but I do think that given this situation I'm going to have to learn and grow in much the same way that you pointed out pioneer women have. I remember my Nan telling me that her mother gave birth then had one of the kids watch the baby while she went and worked in the field!

I'm thankful for your encouragement though - especially pointing out the grit in our DNA. I'm feeling pulled in opposite directions and I just don't know which way is right. We returned to our old house for awhile and painted it, getting it ready to sell but I realized how much I loved having everything close, and having neighbors nearby who would help and to just wave to and chat with. We went to our old church and I loved it - it's a big old church with an organ loft. People came up to us that we've known for years. I learned a pastor we knew just died and I was really sad about it as I kept meaning to visit his church. So all these changes are hitting and I'm in a time of uncertainty. But I do appreciate the group wisdom on here.

I don't know which way is right or where we belong. I do believe that the cities will grow worse which is why we made the move. But it seems that there are challenges no matter where you go.

 

[shanrose]

I wouldn't worry too much about that. The chances of something like that happening are pretty darned slim. I'm sure you'd hear that bear coming before he tore through the door. If something like that happens.....shoot! You are allowed personal defense against anyone or anything if you feel your life is in danger.

That brings you back to guns that you aren't comfortable with. Personally, I'd start with a .22 pistol like Amish suggested. For me, pistols are much less threatening than a rifle or shotgun. My first .22 pistol was a buckmark and I still love to shoot it. It's very non-threatening (no kick), easy to operate, and accurate as all get out! If the coyotes get too close, you can shoot that their way and they won't be around long. They really don't like getting shot at. You might find (like many on this forum) that shooting is very cathartic and relaxing. Wear some ear and eye protection and shoot to your hearts content. .22 rounds are cheap and it's a great place to start for a new shooter. Just be careful.......soon you'll want more guns......and then some more. Then on lazy days, you'll get a brilliant idea......hey hon, lets go shoot a few rounds, eh? I'd suggest taking a gun safety course that your local gun shop can set you up with. Just tell them your situation and they'll help you out. After all, they want you to come back to their store.

For the problems you're having.....tackle one at a time. You'll get there. I think you might be having a bout of home sickness. I'm sure you miss the people and things that were familiar to you. I grew up fairly rural and am in a spot now that's fairly rural, although getting more populated every year We still have a good chunk of property though and I would never want to live right next to someone. I'd likely have some issues if you took me out of my home and made me live in a city. I would not be a happy camper. I hope you get it figured out and that you can be happy where you are.

Yes! You identified it: it's a bout of homesickness and also for the people we left behind. It hurts. Sigh. I really don't know where we belong. But I did ask my hub to take me shooting. It's something one needs to learn anywhere you live with what the country is devolving into. A woman from south of the border told a family member that she fled to the U.S. because she was making good money and a gang threatened that she had to pay them a regular stipend or else. So those types of problems are coming here. Once this becomes a 3rd world we'll lack protection. I knew a guy who was stationed in Venezuela who told me neighbors would steal everything off of their neighbors because they were so poor.

 

[teeceetx]

Having moved 12 times in my life, I can say with conviction, that change is always difficult. Nearly everywhere I've lived, I had to leave fond memories and people behind. But new memories and relationships are made with each move ... some better than others, but always new and challenging.

You cannot be successful if you continually live in the past. Sure, it's nice to remember, but keep it at that ... it's a memory of times and places past. Concentrate on making your new life and home the center of your existence. It's a bit of a blank slate now, so you can make of it what you want!

Every problem has a solution. Your worry over wild animals is merely your mind not yet knowing how to deal with them. You will over time, with effort. You will likely not have to deal with gangs, criminals, and all the things that urban or suburban living brings.

Enjoy your new home and surroundings ... adapt, adapt, adapt!!! You can and will do it!

 

[Hooch]

If you knew some of the situations that I have dealt with you would know that this old gal is tougher than nails - at times tougher than my 6' 1" hub. However, I do lack confidence when it comes to handling guns and I don't like anything that creeps and crawls. (I think it's a female thing) I also have a very soft heart for animals - which is why I don't eat them. So as far as shooting them I would prefer that my hubby do it as I believe that men and women are built differently, no matter what the current pundits try to say. So my hub and I do have traditional type roles, but I do think that given this situation I'm going to have to learn and grow in much the same way that you pointed out pioneer women have. I remember my Nan telling me that her mother gave birth then had one of the kids watch the baby while she went and worked in the field!

I'm thankful for your encouragement though - especially pointing out the grit in our DNA. I'm feeling pulled in opposite directions and I just don't know which way is right. We returned to our old house for awhile and painted it, getting it ready to sell but I realized how much I loved having everything close, and having neighbors nearby who would help and to just wave to and chat with. We went to our old church and I loved it - it's a big old church with an organ loft. People came up to us that we've known for years. I learned a pastor we knew just died and I was really sad about it as I kept meaning to visit his church. So all these changes are hitting and I'm in a time of uncertainty. But I do appreciate the group wisdom on here.

I don't know which way is right or where we belong. I do believe that the cities will grow worse which is why we made the move. But it seems that there are challenges no matter where you go.

I totally understand that changes can be hard.

And honestly..I would not handle a move well if I were moving to a area that had tornadoes as a regular weather experience.

I can do earthquakes, just go outside n ride it out. Tornadoes..no thanks.

I have a friend who moved to Florida who posts pictures of really big bugs, really big snakes..and really big alligators. I like all the pretty beach pictures but everything else , including the mass of people and crime in that state would be a big no way for me.

I agree with you that I think crime in cities will get worse. Living in a rural area gives a person a buffer from how bad it will get but it's no guarantee unfortunately.

You do seem homesick. I get that too.

I'm wondering,

... did you have any say during the the decision process during the search of a property and the move to your new location??

If so,
... it's pretty clear your not happy with the house, not happy with not having neighbors or church close by, not happy with the wildlife you have around and maybe this area wasn't a good move for you after all.

It does sound like you see that living in or by a city is not a good move either..

Maybe you and your husband can do some research and find a rural community that offers more of a compromise so your both happy?

 

[Doreena]

If your wasps are anywhere near a garden hose, get yourself this car wash wand and fill it with blue dawn soap. Hit them with the soap spray and they'll be dead right there. Get it from Northern Tool, Walmart or Amazon. Way cheaper than wasp spray.

Wash-N-Rinse Spray Gun, Model Number WNR5D​

Most anything kills them; Brake Kleen, WD40, starting fluid...just don't use around the fire

Or a soaker gun with a 50/50 mix of Dawn and water….

 

[jazzy]

i love living in the cuontry. i think the only thing i regret is not moving farther up in the mountains. but then i wouldnt have the terrific neighbors i have now just seems the older one gets and the crazier life gets haivng good neighbors you can trust and work with is golden

 

[viking]

When I was a teen ager, I hated living in the country but as I got older I've come to hate being anywhere near big cities, my DW wife, I and now our son and his girlfriend live out in the sticks, deer, elk, wild turkey, cougar and bear, best neighbors we've ever had, we could never move back into a city.

 

[sonya123]

I don't know where we'll end up. I'm on the fence. Told my hub we should have done this 20 years ago. He's always wanted to live at the shore so we're considering Florida - but he also loves it here. Me not so much. I think it shows distinct differences between men and women - men like dealing with wildlife and tractors and such.

I don't think you can generalize that. I know plenty of women that like doing farm work and living the way we do here.
May I ask approximately how old you are? I think the older you get the harder it would be to have this sort of lifestyle

Florida : @#$#$&#^&!!! LOL, I lived there most of my life , but maybe you will love it

 

[INresponse]

Yes the house isn't designed to my liking but I'm also dealing with coyotes and other wildlife and it's a little scary for me. That's why I'm seriously thinking of getting a dog.

Just one opinion, others will vary in their suggestions, but a good Rottweiler will be a large enough dog to deal with the coyotes. They were bread to herd and protect cattle way back when, but they got a negative news rating about 40+ years ago because some people raised them "for protection and security" and a few people were attacked by aggressive "pets". When I bought my Rott way back when I researched and learned they are an AWESOME family dog and are actually very friendly, until they recognize a threat. One thing to consider, because they are a herding dog it was their job to "nip" or nudge at the heals of the cattle or sheep to get them to move and stay with the heard but when my kids were little and would run across the room the dog would nudge their leg and the kids would trip and fall. Even with the tile floor the kids never got hurt, but it was kind of funny to watch. She only did this when the kids were playing, she never bothered them or anyone else when walking, fast or slow. Also, Rotts are typically a calm dog and wont bark unnecessarily. They will know you are they family and they will stay close and be gentle and loving, without getting under foot or needing constant attention.

I talked to a guy who said that he bought remote property and what did they do? Put a big cell phone tower across the street from him.

We have to face the reality that they're pushing Agenda 2030 which will end property rights. They want us in high rise tiny apartments in 15 minute cities. We're in weird times. America is over unfortunately.

It sounds like you know you need to be where you are, hopefully soon you can come at ease and accept your environment.

Thank you for the warning! I will take it to heart. I grew up never seeing a gun. It wasn't until I met my husband that I saw a shotgun up close. I will ask my husband to take me out shooting in the next couple days. I love the wisdom that I'm absorbing here.

I am taking NOTHING away from your husbands personality or ability, but sometimes taking a basic training class from a certified instructor makes it easier and more relaxing to learn. They are very familiar with teaching a beginner, and someone timid about the situation such as yourself. And, the most important part, if they say something you did was wrong or suggest you do something different even if it feels weird to you, you wont get upset at your husband. You will still learn, but if you get frustrated it will be towards the stranger and not towards your husband. Just a thought, it may be money well spent.

Well we aren't all that far off from how you're living. We do have heat and a/c but the garage is quite a walk away and when it rains mud slides down from the garage area towards the house. Bad design. They should have built the house on the hill. No matter how many times I mop the floors that orange dirt keeps coming up. We have one elderly neighbor across the street. We have to drive 45 mins. to get to a store. We are surrounded by deer, fox, coyotes, snakes, squirrels, and some kind of bobcat we caught on the trail cam. They come right up and eat persimmons off my tree. The coyotes howl outside our house at night. Our fridge conked out and we couldn't get a repairman to come here so hub fixed it. A tornado just hit our property yanking out HUGE trees that fell across our dirt driveway. Hubby couldn't even move them with his tractor. He had to chainsaw the trees. The tornado ripped trees out, SKIPPED OUR HOUSE and touched down the side of our property leveling HUGE trees. God must have been watching over us. I've never lived with tornados before so that's something else that's new.

We were fortunate in that we had great neighbors where we lived. I miss them and being able to walk out and say hi. The boy across the street would trot over and help me bring in groceries. He actually cried when we moved so that weighed on me.

I don't know where we'll end up. I'm on the fence. Told my hub we should have done this 20 years ago. He's always wanted to live at the shore so we're considering Florida - but he also loves it here. Me not so much. I think it shows distinct differences between men and women - men like dealing with wildlife and tractors and such.

Keep in mind the deer, the fox, the squirrels, and most likely the bobcat wont bother you. Get a couple feeders and enjoy the deer in your yard, or put some nuts in another and watch the squirrels work all day gathering their food. Odds are the coyotes are so timid and skittish that they will back away when they see you, and if they don't toss a few rocks their way and yell and they will learn to avoid you. Snakes are everywhere, even in Florida which also has alligators. Once you get some firearms training get yourself a small revolver and get used to wearing it on your hip. You don't have to shoot the coyote if it wont leave but shooting near it and making the bang will scare it off real quick. They make a variety of .22LR ammo, some are high power and loud and some are low powered and sufficient for scaring off unwanted critter. With a revolver, many times because the .22LR is such a small caliber, they may hold 8 or more rounds. The first can be bird shot, the next couple can be low powered, and the last few can be high powered and capable of solving a problem if them pesky coyotes or anything else gets stupid.

I hate using poisons too. My in-laws had a house at the shore and my father-in-law had sprayed Raid or something. I woke in the middle of the night in hives and we had to get up and leave. I generally prefer less toxic products.

Look into natural oils. Cedar Oil, Peppermint, Oregano, and many others are great repellants. If you have mosquitos mix 10% Tea Tree Oil into rubbing alcohol and, after shaking, spray it on you or your chair or the porch or the bushes and grass around the area and it will keep the mosquitoes away. Also, dab a bit of this mixture on to any mosquito bites and it will take away the itch. I actually use this mixture on any and all bites or scratches, or slivers, or thorn pricks, as it is also a great anti-bacterial. I rarely use any antibiotic ointment or peroxide anymore, Tea Tree Oil is my go to almost every time I get an owwie.

 

[shanrose]

I totally understand that changes can be hard.

And honestly..I would not handle a move well if I were moving to a area that had tornadoes as a regular weather experience.

I can do earthquakes, just go outside n ride it out. Tornadoes..no thanks.

I have a friend who moved to Florida who posts pictures of really big bugs, really big snakes..and really big alligators. I like all the pretty beach pictures but everything else , including the mass of people and crime in that state would be a big no way for me.

I agree with you that I think crime in cities will get worse. Living in a rural area gives a person a buffer from how bad it will get but it's no guarantee unfortunately.

You do seem homesick. I get that too.

I'm wondering,
ry
... did you have any say during the the decision process during the search of a property and the move to your new location??

If so,
... it's pretty clear your not happy with the house, not happy with not having neighbors or church close by, not happy with the wildlife you have around and maybe this area wasn't a good move for you after all.

It does sound like you see that living in or by a city is not a good move either..

Maybe you and your husband can do some research and find a rural community that offers more of a compromise so your both happy?

Change is very hard. We worked for years to get our house just how I like it but then all this hit with opening the border, the crime getting worse, the severe drug problems, a possible grid down situation and l became concerned. We're in the north so I was concerned about the powers that be cutting the supply for heating our homes. So the state of the country alarmed me. Look at the people in Texas who died when the grid went down and they had no heat. Anyone looking at the state of the country now - unless they're ultra-pollyanish - knows we're on the Titanic. I don't know what exactly is ahead but something is - I think most of us sense it. And whatever it is, it's probably not good.

The soil is terrible at our old house so growing food if something happened was out of the question. So all those things prompted us to move. We looked all over and this house opened up and we went for it. But living in it is quite a bit different than a few walk throughs. And the coyotes and other wildlife make me long for my concrete sidewalks and only a few squirrels and birds outside.

So the adjustment has been hard. My husband and I made a joint decision. But he loves it because he gets to play with his toys - his tractor and 4-wheeler. I do like riding on the 4-wheeler through the trails - it's very beautiful. But there are many drawbacks. I talked to the pastor I know before he died about preparing for what's ahead and he said: "My brother was a survivalist - I buried him last week." So I guess I'm weighing everything. Sometimes you just can't make a quality decision until you live in a place. Is moving out to the country what I really want? I love the beauty and the neighbors that we've met - although a distance away they are very nice. In fact they're some of the nicest people I've met. Country people. seem to have a more home wgrown way about them. We went to a watermelon festival today! It was pretty cool. So I guess I'm weighing the pros and cons. I wondered if others went through the same re-thinking of your decision.

It's very hard to know what to do when the country is obviously collapsing. Some will refuse to see it, but for those who are realists - which I think tend to be on this forum - we know something big is coming. I think it's a time of uncertainty for everyone. And I'm trying to navigate it the best way that I can and sometimes my own wisdom doesn't seem to be enough. I only have one friend who has prepared and she's angry because of all the time and money she spent at the urging of the chicken littles and nothing has happened. I urged my sister to so she has set aside items and bought a secondary heating source at my urging. Another friend is knowledgeable but not really prepared if something happens. So I wonder who is right?

Ahh the joys of indecision...

 

[shanrose]

i love living in the cuontry. i think the only thing i regret is not moving farther up in the mountains. but then i wouldnt have the terrific neighbors i have now just seems the older one gets and the crazier life gets haivng good neighbors you can trust and work with is golden

Exactly. And that's what I miss. We do have some neighbors but it's mostly rural. We had a good set of neighbors at our city house although one couple sold and moved into a senior complex and foreigners moved in. Hubby met them and said they're nice. That's another big change - all these people from all these different countries moving here. I went to the doc's office and at least 3/4 of the people were speaking another language. Our old neighborhood is really nice but all these foreigners are walking around there now and someone was playing foreign music really loud one night which was rude. Someone must have complained so I haven't heard it anymore. It just feels weird. Some are very nice but it just doesn't seem like the America I grew up in. I guess we'll see.

 

[shanrose]

When I was a teen ager, I hated living in the country but as I got older I've come to hate being anywhere near big cities, my DW wife, I and now our son and his girlfriend live out in the sticks, deer, elk, wild turkey, cougar and bear, best neighbors we've ever had, we could never move back into a city.

It's good to get others' opinions. The more people the more problems unfortunately.

 

[shanrose]

I don't think you can generalize that. I know plenty of women that like doing farm work and living the way we do here.
May I ask approximately how old you are? I think the older you get the harder it would be to have this sort of lifestyle

Florida : @#$#$&#^&!!! LOL, I lived there most of my life , but maybe you will love it

I'm in my 60's. So the adjustment has been pretty tough.

You didn't like Florida??? I long for the beach! I was annoyed that my brother-in-law and his wife just left Florida and moved back north. We wanted to get together with them there. My husband's boss and his wife were so fun! We went to visit them in Florida and stayed in their guest room and had such a good time. So we were looking in Cape Coral where they lived and then his boss got cancer and died. So that's another thing we're dealing with: people we know dying. Goodness all the change is hard. And then one begins thinking about their own mortality.

 

[Hooch]

I don't think you can generalize that. I know plenty of women that like doing farm work and living the way we do here.
May I ask approximately how old you are? I think the older you get the harder it would be to have this sort of lifestyle

Florida : @#$#$&#^&!!! LOL, I lived there most of my life , but maybe you will love it

I agree ..

I'd love to have a tractor and mow my own fields. I like farm work, and watching my chickens and turkeys and the overall zen of country life.

I don't think that has anything to do with being male or female.

It's simply a matter of preferences.

I'd love for my main job now..not when I was younger to be a traditional female role like to keep house, cook, tend my animals n garden and do my crafty projects.

But unfortunately..I have to work , provide for the bills , fix stuff if I can, chop the firewood , kill the bugs n do all the crap I wish a man would take over or help n do..

But I chose this life...
I'll make the best go of it untill I can't

 

[shanrose]

Just one opinion, others will vary in their suggestions, but a good Rottweiler will be a large enough dog to deal with the coyotes. They were bread to herd and protect cattle way back when, but they got a negative news rating about 40+ years ago because some people raised them "for protection and security" and a few people were attacked by aggressive "pets". When I bought my Rott way back when I researched and learned they are an AWESOME family dog and are actually very friendly, until they recognize a threat. One thing to consider, because they are a herding dog it was their job to "nip" or nudge at the heals of the cattle or sheep to get them to move and stay with the heard but when my kids were little and would run across the room the dog would nudge their leg and the kids would trip and fall. Even with the tile floor the kids never got hurt, but it was kind of funny to watch. She only did this when the kids were playing, she never bothered them or anyone else when walking, fast or slow. Also, Rotts are typically a calm dog and wont bark unnecessarily. They will know you are they family and they will stay close and be gentle and loving, without getting under foot or needing constant attention.

It sounds like you know you need to be where you are, hopefully soon you can come at ease and accept your environment.

I am taking NOTHING away from your husbands personality or ability, but sI

Just one opinion, others will vary in their suggestions, but a good Rottweiler will be a large enough dog to deal with the coyotes. They were bread to herd and protect cattle way back when, but they got a negative news rating about 40+ years ago because some people raised them "for protection and security" and a few people were attacked by aggressive "pets". When I bought my Rott way back when I researched and learned they are an AWESOME family dog and are actually very friendly, until they recognize a threat. One thing to consider, because they are a herding dog it was their job to "nip" or nudge at the heals of the cattle or sheep to get them to move and stay with the heard but when my kids were little and would run across the room the dog would nudge their leg and the kids would trip and fall. Even with the tile floor the kids never got hurt, but it was kind of funny to watch. She only did this when the kids were playing, she never bothered them or anyone else when walking, fast or slow. Also, Rotts are typically a calm dog and wont bark unnecessarily. They will know you are they family and they will stay close and be gentle and loving, without getting under foot or needing constant attention.

It sounds like you know you need to be where you are, hopefully soon you can come at ease and accept your environment.

I am taking NOTHING away from your husbands personality or ability, but sometimes taking a basic training class from a certified instructor makes it easier and more relaxing to learn. They are very familiar with teaching a beginner, and someone timid about the situation such as yourself. And, the most important part, if they say something you did was wrong or suggest you do something different even if it feels weird to you, you wont get upset at your husband. You will still learn, but if you get frustrated it will be towards the stranger and not towards your husband. Just a thought, it may be money well spent.

Keep in mind the deer, the fox, the squirrels, and most likely the bobcat wont bother you. Get a couple feeders and enjoy the deer in your yard, or put some nuts in another and watch the squirrels work all day gathering their food. Odds are the coyotes are so timid and skittish that they will back away when they see you, and if they don't toss a few rocks their way and yell and they will learn to avoid you. Snakes are everywhere, even in Florida which also has alligators. Once you get some firearms training get yourself a small revolver and get used to wearing it on your hip. You don't have to shoot the coyote if it wont leave but shooting near it and making the bang will scare it off real quick. They make a variety of .22LR ammo, some are high power and loud and some are low powered and sufficient for scaring off unwanted critter. With a revolver, many times because the .22LR is such a small caliber, they may hold 8 or more rounds. The first can be bird shot, the next couple can be low powered, and the last few can be high powered and capable of solving a problem if them pesky coyotes or anything else gets stupid.

Look into natural oils. Cedar Oil, Peppermint, Oregano, and many others are great repellants. If you have mosquitos mix 10% Tea Tree Oil into rubbing alcohol and, after shaking, spray it on you or your chair or the porch or the bushes and grass around the area and it will keep the mosquitoes away. Also, dab a bit of this mixture on to any mosquito bites and it will take away the itch. I actually use this mixture on any and all bites or scratches, or slivers, or thorn pricks, as it is also a great anti-bacterial. I rarely use any antibiotic ointment or peroxide anymore, Tea Tree Oil is my go to almost every time I get an owwie.

I've gotten some good wisdom on here. My neighbors have Rottweilers. I was over there and it jumped up and put it's paws on my shoulders! It was a very friendly dog. But you're probably right about getting a dog big enough to scare wildlife away. A family member told me they talked to a neighbor whose two dogs were killed by coyotes. Thanks for the suggestion. It helps in making quality decisions. I am leaning towards a larger dog for multiple reasons.

Yes maybe these feelings will pass - I don't know. But I do think the cities will become unlivable. We do have an abundance of mosquitos. I'll try the tea tree oil and rubbing alcohol. I'll tell a family member that who is dealing with a lot of mosquitos on their rural property.

I can look into taking a class - that will probably give me a lot of confidence where guns are concerned.Thanks for the suggestion. I don't want to hurt the coyotes but I do want them to stay away. I read about a woman who was attacked right in a neighborhood. Another coyote tried dragging a child away. So coyotes aren't harmless. And they hunt in packs. So I do want something to defend myself with.

 

[OldSchool]

I talked to a guy who said that he bought remote property and what did they do? Put a big cell phone tower across the street from him.

We have to face the reality that they're pushing Agenda 2030 which will end property rights. They want us in high rise tiny apartments in 15 minute cities. We're in weird times. America is over unfortunately.

You have a clue about things, I like that.

I think you’ll be fine.

 

[shanrose]

ani

I agree ..

I'd love to have a tractor and mow my own fields. I like farm work, and watching my chickens and turkeys and the overall zen of country life.

I don't think that has anything to do with being male or female.

It's simply a matter of preferences.

I'd love for my main job now..not when I was younger to be a traditional female role like to keep house, cook, tend my animals n garden and do my crafty projects.

But unfortunately..I have to work , provide for the bills , fix stuff if I can, chop the firewood , kill the bugs n do all the crap I wish a man would take over or help n do..

But I chose this life...
I'll make the best go of it untill I can't

It's just my opinion - men are made different then women naturally. Men seem to love tractors and taming the wild - at least from what I see. I like to garden - we used to have a really big garden and I'd go out and pick vegetables to make for dinner. Or if I made crepes I'd go pick fresh raspberries for the top. I'd love to have a big garden again but I know the wildlife will fight me for it. So I'm thinking of electric fencing around it.

Maybe you can meet a man who will do those things. Dating is so easy now online. However, a young neighbor I was trying to help got a divorce and had a terrible time on those dating apps. He complained that women would have rolls of their body hanging out, and they didn't care about their appearance. He was discouraged so I began researching and found that men don't want American women. They call them "Passport bro's." The one guy does videos called "Dating Delusions." It is an eye opener. But if you're a good person you'd likely be in demand. Maybe you can look for someone to share your life and your chores with.

 

[shanrose]

You have a clue about things, I like that.

I think you’ll be fine.

Thank you OldSchool

 

[jazzy]

im in my 70s and Yes changes can be difficukt to find out way thru. the older i get the harder it is for me to adopt to some changes. its a bif deal t change where one is living and have to start all over the learning curve of the new place. and sometimes its lonely too.

im sorry if youre having atough time adjusting to some changes. maybe make a list of some of your favorite t hings to do and see how you can start doing them whre you are. personalize a room, corner or whatever thats just you and your stuff. do you love to read, study-set up a corner library? paint, weave, sew? like growing things? herbal remedies? want a couple chickens? dont wait til the new place feels like home---make it your home and fill it with your charm and grace.

getting a good dog is really helpful and important and they make great friends. learning to shoot is a smart thing these days. for protection from both 2legged and 4 legged critters. never hurts to learn a new skill.

prayers for your finding peace andhappiness ain this new chapter in life.

 

[sonya123]

I'm in my 60's. So the adjustment has been pretty tough.

You didn't like Florida??? I long for the beach! I was annoyed that my brother-in-law and his wife just left Florida and moved back north. We wanted to get together with them there. My husband's boss and his wife were so fun! We went to visit them in Florida and stayed in their guest room and had such a good time. So we were looking in Cape Coral where they lived and then his boss got cancer and died. So that's another thing we're dealing with: people we know dying. Goodness all the change is hard. And then one begins thinking about their own mortality.

I think you should move to FLorida, it will probably be a good fit for you.

 

[sonya123]

But unfortunately..I have to work , provide for the bills , fix stuff if I can, chop the firewood , kill the bugs n do all the crap I wish a man would take over or help n do..

But I chose this life...
I'll make the best go of it untill I can't

I could not run this farm the way it is now by myself without husband or son. So if son moves away and something happens to husband I will have to figure it out also. I could probably do some of it if I downsized on the animals and had someone to help occasionally. I would probably ask if one of the neighbors could help and pay them, but knowing them they would probably help without pay ( stuff like LOL, don't laugh but backing up and attaching the livestock trailer to the truck, I just can't do it and the plow to the tractor , too heavy for me)