Do You Have Dead Butt Syndrome?

[jazzy]

yall stand up right now and check yer butts. it also s known as gluteus amnesia. thats right. your butt can get amnesia.. my foot or arm can 'fall asleep' and get numb but my butt will get amnesia? no ones talking about what if the butt never remembers its a butt and somehow thinks its an elbow or brain? this has got to be the most serious dangerous new disease ever and praying for a new vaccine to save us.

Do You Have Dead Butt Syndrome?​

• Dead butt syndrome may be a trendy, funny term — but it refers to real warning signs that something may be wrong
• A weak gluteus medius caused by sitting or slumping can cause nerve problems in the future
• Taking breaks from sitting at your desk — and adding stretching or workouts — can help engage your butt muscles and stop the condition from getting worse

https://people.com/dead-butt-syndrome-do-you-have-it-8712069

 

[d_marsh]

Jennifer Lopez and the Kardashians approve of this message.

 

[old tex]

The treatment is 3 squares of E-Lax at bedtime. That will wake it up.

 

[Mountain trapper]

My butt works fine thank you.

 

[jazzy]

the most critical thing we must all pay attention to about this---and this is serious.
if and when your butt gets amnesia--keep your hands on it at all times. whatever happens, dont let it vote democrat

 

[Amish Heart]

Use it or lose it

 

[MoBookworm1957]

Oh Boy!
The topics we come with.

 

[Hooch]

I was reading in a cheap lawn chair once..after about 4 hours I got up ..stood up real fast and kept going over..arms flailing..book goes flying..

Most of my butt and my legs fell asleep..when everything woke up..
.....and I mean..everything..
It was a pins n needle ..everything was doing that tweaker twitch herky jerky ..

I was in my backyard so i was spared public humiliation .I wish I could say it was pleasant..but it wasn't.

Thankfully..my parts remembered what they were and resumed normal operation after a full recovery a few minutes later..although my left cheek gets a tad twitchy now n then..booty ptsd I'm sure..it's a thing..

 

[Amish Heart]

I can't sit more than a half an hour or I get the dreaded syndrome. Arthritis doesn't like inactivity.

 

[Pearl]

I was reading in a cheap lawn chair once..after about 4 hours I got up ..stood up real fast and kept going over..arms flailing..book goes flying..

Most of my butt and my legs fell asleep..when everything woke up..
.....and I mean..everything..
It was a pins n needle ..everything was doing that tweaker twitch herky jerky ..

I was in my backyard so i was spared public humiliation .I wish I could say it was pleasant..but it wasn't.

Thankfully..my parts remembered what they were and resumed normal operation after a full recovery a few minutes later..although my left cheek gets a tad twitchy now n then..booty ptsd I'm sure..it's a thing..

We need pics and videos!!

 

[winds-of-change]

I’m only 4’10”. When I sit in most hard chairs such as in a restaurant, my legs fall asleep from the pressure on the back of thighs and the hard, wooden chair. I have to rearrange before I can stand up.

 

[Hooch]

I wish I could go pro some of my misadventures..what a good laugh they usually are..plus I'd remember all the new potty mouth words I come up with in the moments..afterwards I don't remember what I said much..just that it wasn't a controlled lady like memory..but a fury of explosive expressions..

I have a funny nightmare story where I was in a epic fight with a sheet..got all wrapped up like a mummy..including my head..fell outta bed..somehow managed to get up as I'm fighting the beast (sheet) lunge into a run straight into my locker..full body slamming it..knocked myself back, locker goes through the doorway sideways..and finally wake up n got my bearings..as my dormmates survey the damaged room..
I forever got a bottom bunk and my roommate usually slept in the living room after that..lol

 

[Pearl]

Butts get ornery as they get older!!

 

[jazzy]

they get crunchy too.

umm, not that i know that from any experience, just something i heard.

 

[Amish Heart]

I don't even want to ask how a butt could get crunchy

 

[Hooch]

As in tailbones popping like a knuckles? I used to be able to do that ..sit on a hardfloor..all my weight of my tailbone n just the right angle it thunk/pops n I'm a inch shorter on the floor..

Fell off my horse a few times on me bum to make that happen..not on purpose..but the pressure release when I could do that hurt so goid..
I'd probably break my whole hip now trying to get her to move like that..probably explains why I can't twerky mi booty..I tried once..it hurt to try..lol

 

[Mountain trapper]

My butt makes some strange noises too. Just ask the wife when I pin her down.

 

[jazzy]

I don't even want to ask how a butt could get crunchy

Crunchy Butt Syndrome is the next terrifying disease--i hear billy bob gates is working on a new vaccine

 

[MoBookworm1957]

I don't sit still long enough to get Dead Butt.
I'm a wigglier.
And I get up and move about every 10 -15 minutes.

 

[Hooch]

My butt makes some strange noises too. Just ask the wife when I pin her down.

Are you farting on her?

 

[OldSchool]

Is “Bony Butt Syndrome” a problem?

Asking for a friend.

 

[MoBookworm1957]

Is “Bony Butt Syndrome” a problem?

Asking for a friend.

I guess it depends who's lap you're sitting on?

 

[OldSchool]

I guess it depends who's lap you're sitting on?

Lol.

My skinny ass leaves a dent in the couch, a small dent.

 

[Bacpacker]

Wonder how this relates to "No assatall"

 

[Amish Heart]

I think this is an old man problem.

 

[Bacpacker]

I think this is an old man problem.

Maybe

 

[OldSchool]

I plead the fifth

 

[jazzy]

I don't sit still long enough to get Dead Butt.
I'm a wigglier.
And I get up and move about every 10 -15 minutes.

a wiggler huh? thats called Jumpy Butt Syndrome, it can be very dangeorus unless one is on a dance floor. john travolta suffered from it and it almost ruined his life. be careful friend, when you feel the restless wiggle start hold o tight n to both arms of your chair til it passes. or you fart. could be that instead but you never know.

 

[jazzy]

Is “Bony Butt Syndrome” a problem?

Asking for a friend.

ah, the old Bony Butt Bottom? i just checked the latest research, please tell your friend to take care. Bony Butt Bottom has been declared illegal in several dem states as it causes over weight lefties to feel insulted as the Bony Butt is obviously better looking than theirs.

be safe my friends...guard your butts

 

[teeceetx]

My butt isn't dead, isn't boney, isn't flabby, isn't crunchy ... it's also not an admirable butt ... basically a flat butt. No woman ever told me she loves my butt!