Whats wrong with spam and pineapple dressing?
I never heard of any of that. Hawaiian stuffing is more like some kind of freaked-out fruitcake.
Fine. let me get on a day glow wife beater and granny glasses and crack a Michelob light and I'll tell you of the expensive horror that is Hawaiian dressing:
2-3 loaves (depending on the bird size) of Hawaiian bread. totally shredded.
1 large can of crushed pineapple.
1 large can of tropical fruit cocktail.
1 Oz of spiced rum.
1 cup of totally shredded bacon.
1 cup of oatmeal.
1 shredded leek.
1 small can of tropical nuts.
6 eggs.
3 sticks of melted butter.
Mix this mess up in a 3-gallon stewpot use all the liquids, don't drain anything! If its a little sloppy, add cornmeal or more oats, if it is too loose a bit of water.
Cram it in your birds or piglet.
If its a bird, drape it in bacon and use toothpicks to hold on slices of pineapple.
If its a piglet, use apple slices and pineapple slices.
Baste both in melted molasses and bake until done.
By now you've realized the stuffing has cost more than what you stuffed it with, about half your guests will love it, and the other half will look at you like:
Who puked in this turkey?
To be honest, just buy several cheap fruit cakes, soak them in beer overnight, and cram it in your turkey, the end result is pretty much the same.
There, now I feel soiled. I need to go take a bath in rubbing alcohol and get a real drink in me!