Having children

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Tom Brands

Tom Brands

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Minnesota
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So I've been contemplating having children. It's a tough decision though. On the one hand, it would be great to have a son/daughter to share all my thoughts, ideas, and talents with. On the other hand, raising a kid is a giant responsibility.

Part of what makes it tough is the fact that I don't currently have a girlfriend, so I would need to maybe artificially have a kid or adopt. Also the fact that my finances wouldn't really pay for a kid. I don't want to get too old to where I can't have one though.

Do you guys ultimately recommend taking the chance on having kids?
 
I think having kids is one of the basics of life. We are genetically designed for it. Half of the hormones coursing through our bodies are preparing for it and even make us crave it. On the other hand, being a single parent isn't the easiest thing on either the parent or child. Sure, some single parents have done a great job, but it's a lot of work. My suggestion is when you find someone you really care about, and test out how well you can live with each other, then you revisit this issue. As far as adoption goes, I think it's a great thing. I have raised two biological kids and two step kids. I love them all equally.
 
Tom Brands said:
So I've been contemplating having children. It's a tough decision though. On the one hand, it would be great to have a son/daughter to share all my thoughts, ideas, and talents with. On the other hand, raising a kid is a giant responsibility.

Part of what makes it tough is the fact that I don't currently have a girlfriend, so I would need to maybe artificially have a kid or adopt. Also the fact that my finances wouldn't really pay for a kid. I don't want to get too old to where I can't have one though.

Do you guys ultimately recommend taking the chance on having kids?
Click to expand...
Absolutely. Find a decent girl (with a good job), get married and have kids. It's really pretty simple. During this time you need to learn a skill so that you can start providing decent income too.
 
Not me, man. Never wanted them, never had them. My wife and I had to take in 3 kids from our family when their parents split up & both decided they belonged in jail rather than with the family. It was tough. Would we adopt them rather than let them go to the state? Sure. Would we prefer that? Absolutely not.

I have an ongoing and consistent dream about having a daughter, but it's odd. It's always the same girl, she always looks the same, and never ages. We're always walking somewhere and holding hands. I never have to deal with her acting up, dating, getting pregnant, trying drugs, or any of the other stuff that comes along with it.

Truth be told, the older I get the less I understand having kids. As overpopulated as our area is(And the world in general), I can't imagine it. It actually seems selfish to me. Most of the people I know that have kids should actually have gotten a teddy bear. They didn't want the work, just the cuteness of a baby or to continue the DNA of their awesomeness. At least you own the idea. They couldn't bring themselves to actually say that's why, though. Not that self-interest is inherently bad, but I just can't imagine why I would have kids. I enjoy my wife and hobbies too much. Kids are expensive, and there's no arguing that. Time consuming, too. I like to be able to drop whatever and leave town if I want. Can't do that with kids, either. Not to mention, when we went on vacation with our "Temp kids", it was outlandishly time consuming and expensive. Everything from food to vacation goes up exponentially. I'm not trying to deal with all that. Is that self-interested? Absolutely. As long as my wife and I enjoy our lives, so be it. It's less pollution and population for the rest of the world to deal with, too.
 
Do you guys ultimately recommend taking the chance on having kids?
Click to expand...

Easy one.

1. Are you over 25 but under 50?
2. Do you have a loving spouse you've been with for at least 3 years?
3. Do you have a combined household income of $80,000 or more?
4. Do you realize that your life will change completely and be subservient to this little life for 18 years?

If you answered NO to any of the above, then the simple answer is NO, you are not ready for children.

Now I know folks will say my age requirement is off base, but unless you want the kid to spend alternate weekends with mom or dad eventually, it isn't.....
 
It's true that the world is over populated, but that's because the third worlders breed like rats. It's also true that the US is over populated. And that's because the third world trash have been invading our country for years. Only certain demographics are breeding unchecked and stinking up the planet.
 
your not wrong there, and not just in the US, there isn't enough housing in the UK to home everybody that's already here never mind the ones to come. that's one reason we are leaving the EU to try and stem the tide and to stop the rot started by that traitor Blair.
 
I think they should limit how many kids someone can have. Maybe a five kid limit. This way no family has like 15-20 kids and really messes up the balance of things.
 
the limit should be two, the world is overpopulated as it is. 7 billion and counting.
 
If a family can financially maintain a large family and bring those kids up with good morals and values than why not. They will mostly likely be productive to society when they are older. Its the ones that are low income that keep having kids with no way of supporting them. Where both parents are working and the kids are left to someone else to have influence over or no supervision at all. It should be a moral decision to put off having any or any more at that time. Parents should actually want a good life for their kids & not rely on government help. The mentality & values of people have changed so much over the last century, its scarey.
 
people cannot carry on having children at the rate they are, by people I make no distinction of race,religion, etc.etc.
the earth cannot have its resources used up by more and more humans, if you want to see TEOTWAWKI pay no regard to my comments and see what happens.
I have always said, the human race will breed itself out of existence.
 
The stuff with genetic testing is interesting too. Say you knew your baby was going to be mentally retarded and you knew very early on in the pregnancy. Would you choose to have an abortion?
 
Skeeter said:
The stuff with genetic testing is interesting too. Say you knew your baby was going to be mentally retarded and you knew very early on in the pregnancy. Would you choose to have an abortion?
Click to expand...
Using that criteria about half the population would be aborted. They're called liberals and Democrats. I'd go for that.
 
Skeeter said:
The stuff with genetic testing is interesting too. Say you knew your baby was going to be mentally retarded and you knew very early on in the pregnancy. Would you choose to have an abortion?
Click to expand...

Skeeter - Have you seen the movie 'Gattaca'? It happens to be one of the best movies I've ever seen. It shows us that sometimes the 'superior' genetic baby doesn't always result in the superior human (due to other factors such as will, determination, etc)
 
alabaster said:
Not me, man. Never wanted them, never had them. My wife and I had to take in 3 kids from our family when their parents split up & both decided they belonged in jail rather than with the family. It was tough. Would we adopt them rather than let them go to the state? Sure. Would we prefer that? Absolutely not.

I have an ongoing and consistent dream about having a daughter, but it's odd. It's always the same girl, she always looks the same, and never ages. We're always walking somewhere and holding hands. I never have to deal with her acting up, dating, getting pregnant, trying drugs, or any of the other stuff that comes along with it.

Truth be told, the older I get the less I understand having kids. As overpopulated as our area is(And the world in general), I can't imagine it. It actually seems selfish to me. Most of the people I know that have kids should actually have gotten a teddy bear. They didn't want the work, just the cuteness of a baby or to continue the DNA of their awesomeness. At least you own the idea. They couldn't bring themselves to actually say that's why, though. Not that self-interest is inherently bad, but I just can't imagine why I would have kids. I enjoy my wife and hobbies too much. Kids are expensive, and there's no arguing that. Time consuming, too. I like to be able to drop whatever and leave town if I want. Can't do that with kids, either. Not to mention, when we went on vacation with our "Temp kids", it was outlandishly time consuming and expensive. Everything from food to vacation goes up exponentially. I'm not trying to deal with all that. Is that self-interested? Absolutely. As long as my wife and I enjoy our lives, so be it. It's less pollution and population for the rest of the world to deal with, too.
Click to expand...
I read an article once about this poor couple that couldn't have children. They were able to go on great vacations, had all the toys they wanted, great house, etc. when they visited their siblings with children they were always the cool and fun aunt and uncle that was bringing gifts and having fun with the nieces and nephews. They had the good times with the kids, and skipped the discipline and tough times. I think it dosent sound too bad.
 
I know someone who said "kids are great-if they are someone else's, you can give them back after half an hour". and no, it wasn't me.
 
Between the two of us (Wife and I) we have 6 kids 4 me 2 her (no regrets) Would I have kids today? NO not because I don't want any, just the way of life being represented today by the masses wouldn't be a good environment to raise a kid in.

Truth is, the Wife said no, she doesn't want an old man with a cane attending the child's Graduation being confused as an grandfather, I say whats wrong with a grandfather? Lisa said after a long pause with this non-expressional stare and then with a stern voice "sweetheart would you please pore me some coffee" conversation over.
 
Maverick said:
Between the two of us (Wife and I) we have 6 kids 4 me 2 her (no regrets) Would I have kids today? NO not because I don't want any, just the way of life being represented today by the masses wouldn't be a good environment to raise a kid in.

Truth is, the Wife said no, she doesn't want an old man with a cane attending the child's Graduation being confused as an grandfather, I say whats wrong with a grandfather? Lisa said after a long pause with this non-expressional stare and then with a stern voice "sweetheart would you please pore me some coffee" conversation over.
Click to expand...
I've thought about george Clooney just having his first kids, twins, at 57 yrs old. Sure he has resources to provide for them, is older, wiser and probably more patient now with that age. It still doesn't change the fact that he will be pushing 80 when they graduate high school. I'm glad I raised my 4 while I had energy to spare.
 
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