Homesteading Friends

[rice paddy daddy]

I actually prefer to be at home on our little place in the boondocks.
My wife is an introvert as well.
I don’t do very well with regular people, if I’m around anyone it is other veterans at VFW or American Legion. And since I don’t drink I don’t really hang around much there either.
If I’m not at my part time job or at a meeting, I’m home on our little farm.
We keep the gates to the road closed and locked whether we’re home or not.

 

[LadyLocust]

I used to be a social butterfly. These days I can rarely stand to be around people. Everybody wants. It's the only time they come around. Regarding loneliness, there are many single women around even in my sparsely populated area, but they are all lacking in any willingness to contribute. And by contribute I mean contribute anything. Almost all are willing to attach themselves and consume what I have worked diligently to acquire but none have any desire to contribute either work or resources. They all want to sit on their ass and do nothing. At least that has been my last 10 year experience. I will edit this to say "most" not all. But of the few who are like minded there still has to be the "compatibility" thing.
I had prescheduled an interview yesterday (lol as I have begun to call them) and was going to pick the lady up and have lunch and discuss things. I go through the town she lived in and of course she was still in bed. I didn't even stop. She had just insisted and insisted how much she looked forward to this but it wasn't important enough to get up. Not worth my time. Anyway enough ranting I guess. lol

Edit. She called and called yesterday but I declined to answer. I had already heard part of her story and she is another in need. She could be a diamond, but however it worked out she is going to ask me for "something." I have also discovered that I can't help everyone and many have turned this needful thing into a lifestyle moving from host to host.

Well, a man with that much cast iron is difficult to find - you have to filter those who just want you for your loot
Sorry to interrupt this thread - I just had to pick on Camalot for a minute. Now back to our regularly scheduled program.

 

[Spikedriver]

I used to be a social butterfly. These days I can rarely stand to be around people. Everybody wants. It's the only time they come around. Regarding loneliness, there are many single women around even in my sparsely populated area, but they are all lacking in any willingness to contribute. And by contribute I mean contribute anything. Almost all are willing to attach themselves and consume what I have worked diligently to acquire but none have any desire to contribute either work or resources. They all want to sit on their ass and do nothing. At least that has been my last 10 year experience. I will edit this to say "most" not all. But of the few who are like minded there still has to be the "compatibility" thing.
I had prescheduled an interview yesterday (lol as I have begun to call them) and was going to pick the lady up and have lunch and discuss things. I go through the town she lived in and of course she was still in bed. I didn't even stop. She had just insisted and insisted how much she looked forward to this but it wasn't important enough to get up. Not worth my time. Anyway enough ranting I guess. lol

Edit. She called and called yesterday but I declined to answer. I had already heard part of her story and she is another in need. She could be a diamond, but however it worked out she is going to ask me for "something." I have also discovered that I can't help everyone and many have turned this needful thing into a lifestyle moving from host to host.

I can somewhat relate to this. Women see who my employer is, and then they see $$$. I find it strange how many hairdressers, gas station cashier's, CNAs, etc think I might be quite a catch. But in reality they're looking for someone to provide the financial security that they chose not to provide on their own. I started an employment rule for dating - she has to have a job that makes her self sufficient. Could be a factory worker, could be a CEO, doesn't matter. But no more grocery store checkers for me.

The lack of a mate is only part of the equation though. Sometimes it's just lack of mentally stimulating human interaction. I shudder to think of what it must have been like in the 1860s when my forefathers came to this land. Going to a social function and meeting people was a lot of work! And you didn't just head to the tavern and socialize every evening either. There was church, and that was about it.

Speaking of, church is just about the best way to get social interaction that I know of. It's definitely the safest. I've found that nobody wants anything from me at church. I prefer to volunteer myself to help with things, so I can choose the setting I interact with new people in, and church settings are perfect for that. Need help setting up for the fundraiser? I'm in! And then I get to observe how people act and talk. And I did something good too. Win-win!

 

[Biggkidd]

I know after raising two daughters on my own for the last 10-11 years I'd like to meet someone. Problems with that are finding a person with the same values and who want's this lifestyle. There don't seen to be many of us.

 

[dademoss]

Other than on the forum here, I don't know any "homesteader/prepper/country folks in my area. Met a few long ago at a get together, but they have all moved on with life.

Have run into more than a few "fakes/wannabees", the ones with a zillion rounds of ammo and no food, thats when you just shut up and move on

So, I talk to myself, the cats,dog and chickens a lot

 

[Cascadian]

Kelsey
You mentioned a fiance previously. Has that changed?

 

[Pearl]

My situation is a bit different than most here. I was raised on a farm, but my life took a different path and now I live in a little town of 2000 people. It's still as country as can be though.

Even though I have 2000 people around me, it still does get lonely. I'm on the road so much that I don't get to really know people or spend time with people other than my daughter. This forum helps take the edge off of that. I've known a few here for ten years now, going back to other forums before this one started. It seems weird to me to call people friends when I've never met them, but there are a few that I would call friends. And I've seen some surprising acts of kindness here. They're even more noteworthy because they've been directed to people who are only a screen name, but treated like a next door neighbor in need.

Jump on in, and don't worry about what you do or don't know. It's all good here...

 

[LadyLocust]

I can somewhat relate to this. Women see who my employer is, and then they see $$$. I find it strange how many hairdressers, gas station cashier's, CNAs, etc think I might be quite a catch. But in reality they're looking for someone to provide the financial security that they chose not to provide on their own. I started an employment rule for dating - she has to have a job that makes her self sufficient. Could be a factory worker, could be a CEO, doesn't matter. But no more grocery store checkers for me.

The lack of a mate is only part of the equation though. Sometimes it's just lack of mentally stimulating human interaction. I shudder to think of what it must have been like in the 1860s when my forefathers came to this land. Going to a social function and meeting people was a lot of work! And you didn't just head to the tavern and socialize every evening either. There was church, and that was about it.

Speaking of, church is just about the best way to get social interaction that I know of. It's definitely the safest. I've found that nobody wants anything from me at church. I prefer to volunteer myself to help with things, so I can choose the setting I interact with new people in, and church settings are perfect for that. Need help setting up for the fundraiser? I'm in! And then I get to observe how people act and talk. And I did something good too. Win-win!

Funny you say that. When I decided I wanted to begin dating, one of the requirements was that he had his own place so he wouldn't try to guilt me into living in mine. And I agree - meeting folks at church, though I've known good church-goers who were crooked as snakes.

Other than on the forum here, I don't know any "homesteader/prepper/country folks in my area. Met a few long ago at a get together, but they have all moved on with life.

Have run into more than a few "fakes/wannabees", the ones with a zillion rounds of ammo and no food, thats when you just shut up and move on

So, I talk to myself, the cats,dog and chickens a lot

What I've figured out though it could be just here or the current state of things, is that many homestead/prepper sorts kinda keep quiet about it so you don't actually know until you know someone pretty well. I get this because I don't go around stating that I have a pantry full of food.

 

[TENNGRIZZ]

I a

Other than on the forum here, I don't know any "homesteader/prepper/country folks in my area. Met a few long ago at a get together, but they have all moved on with life.

Have run into more than a few "fakes/wannabees", the ones with a zillion rounds of ammo and no food, thats when you just shut up and move on

So, I talk to myself, the cats,dog and chickens a lot

I Agree folks need to be well balanced. Jack of all trades master of none. Beans , Band-Aids , H2O are just as important as bullet's. Animal Husbandry , canning gardening. Etc. Are just as important as skinning deer or foraging for mushrooms.

 

[Bacpacker]

Well welcome back Kelsey. There are some great folks on here, and tons of information. Just jump in and ask questions about whatever you think of or want to talk about.

 

[DrJenner]

I can totally relate. I used to be a complete extrovert.
Now, I don't want to go out and do anything. I can't stand people (which sounds horrible given what I do for a living). I guess its because I've seen and experienced the utter dregs of society and know the terrible things people are capable of, and I want nothing to do with any of it.

 

[sonya123]

No its not super isolated here I get to talk to people but no one that understand or enjoys the same hobbies Lol im still super new at everything but I enjoy the lifestyle and willing to learn more and just want friends that share the same similarities

So what are your hobbies just out of curiosity ? I don't think friends need to share hobbies. I have some really good friends that have literally zero in common with me as far as hobbies go. I think overall "ideology" for lack of better word is more important. Spouses need to have the same hobbies (and ideology) so you can do things together, but friends not always. Like for example my favorite hobby up until my accident a few years ago was downhill skiing. I grew up skiing. Husband learned after we got married. Both kids snowboard. Only ONE other couple we were friends with in Florida ever skied and they weren't that good at it. But not a single one of any of our friends are "woke" liberal types. I have nothing to say to those people somehow. So maybe not look so much at hobbies but what sort of people you want to be around overall? People in rural areas are generally more conservative.

 

[Camalot]

I remember when I was a kid (7-10) and thought why don't these older people hang out with friends and do everything because they were retired, had money and everything they needed. Then as I became older I realized they are simply tired of people. There is always someone trying to get in your pocket.

 

[Tirediron]

As above, acquaintances are easy to come by friends on the other hand a bit harder. friends shouldn't cost you money.

 

[Camalot]

As above, acquaintances are easy to come by friends on the other hand a bit harder. friends shouldn't cost you money.

LOL. That's what I tell everyone here at home. I don't have friends because I can't afford them!

 

[rice paddy daddy]

All my real friends served with me in a combat zone. We are Brothers, actually.
5th Infantry Division.
Everyone else, even locally, are acquaintances.
I’m just a loner. Have been since 1970. Will be until I die.