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BRITISH HUMOR IS DIFFERENT
These are classified ads, which were actually placed in U.K. newspapers.


FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER.
8 years old,
Hateful little *******.
Bites!

FREE PUPPIES
1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbour’s dog.

FREE PUPPIES.
Mother is a Kennel Club registered German Shepherd.
Father is a Super Dog, able to leap tall fences
in a single bound.

COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED.
Also 1 gay bull for sale.

JOINING NUDIST COLONY!​
Must sell washer and dryer £100.

WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE .
Worn once by mistake.​
Call Stephanie.

And the WINNER is ...
FOR SALE BY OWNER
Complete set of Encyclopaedia Britannica, 45 volumes. Excellent condition, £200 or best offer.
No longer needed, got married, wife knows everything.

Statement of the century
Thought from the greatest living Scottish thinker
-- Billy Connolly: "If women are so bloody
perfect at multitasking, how come they can't
have a headache and sex at the same time?"
Children are quick

TEACHER: Why are you late?

STUDENT: Class started before I got

here.

____________________________________

TEACHER: John, why are you doing

your math multiplication on the floor?

JOHN: You told me to do it without

using tables.

__________________________________________

TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell

'crocodile?'

GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L.'

TEACHER: No, that's wrong

GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you

asked me how I spell it.

(I love this child)

____________________________________________

TEACHER: Donald, what is the

chemical formula for water?

DONALD: H I J K L M N O.

TEACHER: What are you talking

about?

DONALD: Yesterday you said it's

H to O.

__________________________________

TEACHER: Winnie, name one

important thing we have today that

we didn't have ten years ago.

WINNIE: Me!

__________________________________________

TEACHER: Glen, why do you always

get so dirty?

GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the

ground than you are.

_______________________________________

TEACHER: George Washington not

only chopped down his father's cherry

tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie,

do you know why his father didn't

punish him?

LOUIS: Because George still had the

axe in his hand.

_________________

TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly,

do you say prayers before eating?

SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mum

is a good cook.

______________________________

TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on

'My Dog' is exactly the same as your

brother's. Did you copy his?

CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.

(I want to adopt this kid!!!)

___________________________________

TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a

person who keeps on talking when

people are no longer interested?

HAROLD: A teacher.

__________________________________
 
new fashion for men
pee jeans- coms with own stain

im not real sure this is a joke) on sale now for $600.00

Home STAIN STONEWASH JEANS
Description:

The Stain jeans feature a stonewash stain on the crotch and the Demonology horn detail embroidered on each back pocket, making them the ultimate JORDANLUCA denim piece. The jeans are high rise with a tapered leg, ensuring a perfect fit.
  • Tapered leg
  • High-rise
  • Button closure
  • Made of 100% cotton
  • Made in Italy
  • Care: Machine wash

https://www.jordanluca.com/products/untitled-sep1_22-02?variant=43991654072568
 
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