Jokes and Humor

[Peanut]

 

[dademoss]

 

[Mr.Meer]

 

[Mr.Meer]

 

[phideaux]

Jim

 

[Mr.Meer]

 

[Mr.Meer]

 

[phideaux]

Jim

 

[Mr.Meer]

 

[rusty]

 

[GrannyG]

 

[Peanut]

 

[Peanut]

 

[Peanut]

 

[VThillman]

View attachment 62110

Since it was demoted from qualifying as a planet, nobody cares about Pluto anymore.

 

[Supervisor42]

Since it was demoted from qualifying as a planet, nobody cares about Pluto anymore.

Fortunately, Uranus is still safe .
People tell me it is pretty big.

 

[dademoss]

A Kit Kat

 

[Woody]

 

[VThillman]

Fortunately, Uranus is still safe .
People tell me it is pretty big.

Very few people have seen my anus - and lived to tell about it.

 

[jazzy]

Only in This Stupid World
.....do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet Coke..
Only in This Stupid World .....do banks leave vault doors open and then chain the pens to the counters..

Only in This Stupid World ...........do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in
Packages of eight..

Only in This Stupid World .....do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

EVER WONDER ...

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?[/QUOTE]

Why don't you ever see the Headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?

Why is it that Doctors call what they do 'practice'?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

Why is the man who Invests all your money called a broker?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn't there Mouse-flavored cat food?

Why didn't Noah Swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes?

Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

If con is the opposite of Pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

 

[Peanut]

 

[phideaux]

WOW ! Bananas $5.99

Jim

 

[dademoss]

 

[Peanut]

 

[Peanut]

 

[Peanut]

 

[phideaux]

Jim

 

[VThillman]

View attachment 62191

Jim

Yeah! Why live with one if she ain't going to vacuum and wash dishes?

 

[Cascadian]

Very few people have seen my anus - and lived to tell about it.

So if you show em you have to kill em.

 

[VThillman]

So if you show em you have to kill em.

You misunderstand. I ain't showing it deliberately, because them that do see it tend to expire from shock and dismay.