Jokes and Humor

[Bluetick21]

 

[Peanut]

 

[dademoss]

 

[phideaux]

Jim

 

[phideaux]

That guy has money to customize like that.

Jim

 

[phideaux]

Jim

 

[joel]

View attachment 66636

Jim

Someone needs a chainsaw!

 

[Sparky_D]

 

[LadyLocust]

View attachment 66646

Hey Spark - haven't seen much of you. Have you been hiding in a colorful igloo? Hope all is well.
Also, guess I didn't realize you are also a Worshintonian.

 

[Sparky_D]

Hey Spark - haven't seen much of you. Have you been hiding in a colorful igloo? Hope all is well.
Also, guess I didn't realize you are also a Worshintonian.

Been decompressing. Too much "On Line" time, not enough "Get crap done and get outside" time, lol

 

[joel]

Been decompressing. Too much "On Line" time, not enough "Get crap done and get outside" time, lol

Good to have you back, between projects.

 

[phideaux]

Jim

 

[phideaux]

Jim

 

[dademoss]

 

[Bacpacker]

Ill never forget being on an elevator with my mom and hearing MUZAK

 

[dademoss]

 

[Peanut]

 

[Peanut]

 

[Peanut]

 

[Neb]

View attachment 66693

Replace the donut with a biscuit and save the donut for desert.

Ben

 

[Neb]

View attachment 66694

Funny

It doesn't look like it is made out of wood.

Ben

 

[LadyLocust]

Cause sometimes you just need to laugh~

 

[Caribou]

Two blondes were going to Disneyland.
They were driving on the Interstate when they saw the sign that said "Disneyland LEFT"
They started crying and turned around and went home.


FLORIDA OR MOON

Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking, and one blonde says to the other, 'Which do you think is farther away... Florida or the moon?' The other blonde turns and says 'Helloooooo, can you see Florida ?'


CAR TROUBLE

A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station.
She tells themechanic it died.
After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.
She says, 'What's the story?'
He replies, 'Just crap in the carburetor'
She asks, 'How often do I have to do that?'


SPEEDING TICKET

A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.
She replied in a huff,
'I wish you guys would get your act together.
Just yesterday you take my license away, and now today you expect me to show it to you?'


AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE

A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.
'Impossible!' says the doctor. 'Show me.'
The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more.
She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed.
Everywhere she touched made her scream.
The doctor said, 'You're not really a redhead, are you?
'Well, no' she said, 'I'm actually a blonde.'
'I thought so,' the doctor said, 'Your finger is broken.'


KNITTING

A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting!
Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, 'PULL OVER!'
'NO!' the blonde yelled back, 'IT'S A SCARF!'


BLONDE ON TIME
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were.
The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.
Her friend said, 'Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?' 'Helllooooo. . . ,' answered the blonde.
'They're watch dogs'



IN A VACUUM

A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night.
It was her turn.
She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature.
Her question was, 'If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?
' She thought for a time and then asked, 'Is it on or off?'


FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!

In the swim-meet, after the blond came in last competing in the breast-stroke, she complained to the judges that “all the other girls were using their arms

 

[VThillman]

Cause sometimes you just need to laugh~

Those guys made some 'unlikely to be funny' movies - that were funny. I wonder if there's a DVD collection out there.

 

[angie_nrs]

 

[angie_nrs]

 

[LadyLocust]

Those guys made some 'unlikely to be funny' movies - that were funny. I wonder if there's a DVD collection out there.

I just sat and watched half dozen on YT. They were funny!

 

[Supervisor42]

Those guys made some 'unlikely to be funny' movies - that were funny. I wonder if there's a DVD collection out there.

Yes.
Amazon has the 15-disk box set.
https://www.amazon.com/Abbott-Costello-Complete-Universal-Collection/dp/B001EXE2Y2

Get ready to laugh out loud with the most popular comedy duo of all time in Abbott and Costello: The Complete Universal Pictures Collection! Now, for the first time ever, all 28 films produced during the height of their popularity at Universal Pictures are now available in one collection. Featuring their most popular movies such as Buck Privates, Who Done It? and Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein, this collection is filled with some of the most hilarious routines of all-time including “Who’s on First?” Loaded with hours of bonus features and an exclusive collectible book, this is the ultimate tribute to two of the funniest, and most enduring, comedians of all time!

 

[angie_nrs]

 

[angie_nrs]