Jokes and Humor

[ClemKadiddlehopper]

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Just plain NO. that is a dirty aquarium. Call the Ghostbusters. They know what to do with green slime.

 

[Haertig]

https://nypost.com/2023/04/05/costco-cake-decorators-fail-leaves-customers-in-stitches/

 

[Lenny]

Oops!

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The Redneck version of jack knife.

 

[dademoss]

 

[Neb]

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It taught us that spitting on it and rubbing dirt in it was a less painful option.

Ben

 

[INresponse]

It taught us that spitting on it and rubbing dirt in it was a less painful option.

Ben

We had an old bottle of Mercurochrome when I was a kid, dad got it maybe in the 50's, and I remember still using it occasionally in the early 80's, so it was used very little, but I do think it hurt less than Peroxide. But, I learned that sucking on the cut to "get the dirt out" was a lot less painful and by drawing out the blood that was at the surface was helpful in slowing down the bleeding and getting it to clot sooner. Now my usual go to on the spot treatment is to use my Burt's Bees Bees Wax lip balm to coat the cut or scratch, especially papercuts. For papercuts it keeps the skin from drying out and prevents the days of sore, dry skin around the cut. Usually the dry edges of the skin around the paper cut hurt more than the darned cut itself.

 

[backlash]

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That stuff and castor oil both did the same thing.
They stopped me from crying to my Mom.

 

[dademoss]

 

[zoomzoom]

 

[zoomzoom]

 

[zoomzoom]

 

[dademoss]

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Every American needs a 30 caliber battle rifle. There are many like it, but this one is mine.

 

[dademoss]

 

[snappy1]

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So funny and mostly true!

 

[dademoss]

 

[bkt]

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In my house, dropped bacon results in a race between three cats, a dog and the humans. If the bacon landed on a dust bunny, the non-humans may have it. Otherwise, it's likely going to get eaten by a human.

 

[The Lazy L]

In my house, dropped bacon results in a race between three cats, a dog and the humans. If the bacon landed on a dust bunny, the non-humans may have it. Otherwise, it's likely going to get eaten by a human.

Remember the 5 second rule? If you accidentally drop food on the floor it’s safe to eat if you pick it up within 5 seconds. Doesn’t work if you have a 1 second dog.

 

[Haertig]

Remember the 5 second rule? If you accidentally drop food on the floor it’s safe to eat if you pick it up within 5 seconds. Doesn’t work if you have a 1 second dog.

It used to be 3 seconds. Inflation I guess.

 

[dademoss]

Sadly, Teddy is a .5 second bacon hound

 

[angie_nrs]

 

[Peanut]

 

[Peanut]

 

[Weedygarden]

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STOP talking about me! LOL!

 

[Weedygarden]

A guy was driving his new Corvette way too fast on the highway. Suddenly, he heard the siren and saw the police car with its lights on behind him. Hesitantly, he pulled over and waited for the officer, his sun glasses still on, and his cigarette still lit, arrogant smile on his face. “Sir, you are aware that you were driving 30 mph over the speed limit, aren’t you?” the officer said as he handed the man his violation ticket. “What am I supposed to do with this?” grumbled the motorist arrogantly. “Keep it,” said the officer, “When you get four of them, you get a bicycle.”

 

[Pearl]

In my house, dropped bacon results in a race between three cats, a dog and the humans. If the bacon landed on a dust bunny, the non-humans may have it. Otherwise, it's likely going to get eaten by a human.

Dust bunnies wash off!!

 

[LadyLocust]

 

[Caribou]

 

[Woody]

 

[dademoss]

STOP talking about me! LOL!

Great minds think alike, you should be worried

 

[dademoss]