Jokes and Humor
- Thread starter phideaux
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)Yesterday I was at Costco buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Necco, the Wonder Dog, which weighs 191 lbs. I was in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.What did she think I had an elephant?So because I'm retired and have little to do,on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again.I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.I
told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and that the way that it works is, to load your jacket pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry.The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stopped to Pee on a Fire Hydrant and a car hit me,
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.
Costco won't let me shop there anymore.Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the World to think of crazy things to say.
told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and that the way that it works is, to load your jacket pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry.The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stopped to Pee on a Fire Hydrant and a car hit me,
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.
Costco won't let me shop there anymore.Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the World to think of crazy things to say.
One freaking awesome story
Ha!
And how many of these have each of us used?
I've used them all, except:
(1) Any of the Apple specific ones
(2) Micro-DVI
(3) Mini-VGA
(4) Mini-DVI
(5) AAUI (I've never even heard of this one - was it maybe also termed an "AUX" port? It looks familiar, but not familiar enough to say I've used it. I did connect joysticks to what I think was called an AUX port that was shaped like this, but with different connections as I recall.)
(6) Any of the FireWire ones (I had one computer with a 1394a FireWire port, but I never used it)
This photo is missing most of the different USB connectors. And the infamous "null modem cable" - which wouldn't work if you needed a regular cable, even though it looked exactly like it.
- Joined
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- Joined
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