Jokes and Humor

[d_marsh]

 

[d_marsh]

 

[d_marsh]

 

[jazzy]

 

[Neb]

View attachment 167228

Don't get it.

Ben

 

[jazzy]

 

[angie_nrs]

 

[jazzy]

 

[jazzy]

 

[jazzy]

 

[Pearl]

Don't get it.

Ben

The ding ding ding if you are not wearing your seatbelt!

 

[Lenny]

I remember those old cans well when I was young! It was tough trying to get out of the crib to crawl to the kitchen to sneak off with one of those.

 

[SoulSeeker]

A young woman was going through her recently deceased grandmothers belongings. She finds an old brass oil lamp and remakes " Oh a genie lamp". Rubbing it and sure enough a genie pops out! Telling her she has 3 wishes she says #1, I want a beautiful expensive car. Out in the driveway a high end Mercedes appears. #2, I want beautiful clothes and jewelry and with a wave of his hand the most beautiful clothes and jewelry appeared. #3, I want a very attractive boyfriend who will stay with me forever. The genie says " I can't make a person out of thin air, I need something living to start with". Looking around she spots her cat. Will my cat do? Yes that will be fine and poof the most handsome man she had ever seen appeared. The genie bows and back in the bottle. She looks all around her at the beautiful things then at her new boyfriend. He says "right about now your probably wishing you hadn't had me neutered".

 

[Neb]

The ding ding ding if you are not wearing your seatbelt!

And the serial killer part?

Ben

 

[jazzy]

And the serial killer part?

Ben

the unending ding ding ding is the official theme song of serial killers and also the official warning for those in the same vehicle as a heads up to escape asap

 

[zoomzoom]

 

[zoomzoom]

 

[dademoss]

Almost time for Christmas Cookies!!!!

 

[dademoss]

 

[d_marsh]

 

[d_marsh]

 

[d_marsh]

 

[d_marsh]

 

[Supervisor42]

View attachment 167278

...The best $325 I have ever spent in my entire life!

 

[Neb]

the unending ding ding ding is the official theme song of serial killers and also the official warning for those in the same vehicle as a heads up to escape asap

Never heard of that. Is that a cultural reference? I haven't seen most of killer/horror flicks so...

Ben

 

[Neb]

...The best $325 I have ever spent in my entire life!

Wow.

Mine cost me $50k or more. But still worth it.

Ben

 

[dademoss]

Never been, till death do us part and we both know the deep parts of the lake

 

[jazzy]

Never heard of that. Is that a cultural reference? I haven't seen most of killer/horror flicks so...

Ben

i apologize for my typos that caused so much confusion. it was not serial killers but CEREAL killers. anyone ever polish off a box of capt crunch or apple jacks, or cocoa puffs, frosted flakes, chocolate frosted sugar bombs etc , etc qualifies. unfortunatly anyone can fall into that catagory. i understand tinnitus is an early warning sign.

beware friends! not all cereal killers are in horror movies! if you ever find youself in a vehicle where the seat belt warning ding ding ding is playing and its not cause of you then get out and save yourself! your cereal is in danger!
i know this is 100% true cause CNN told me.

 

[LadyLocust]

View attachment 167228

No I’m not

 

[Cascadian]

Did you hear about all the bodies that were being found with corn flakes stuffed down their throat. They are pretty sure it is a cereal killer.