Neighbours and community

[Magpie]

Although I don't see them that much since the children have grown and the mothers have taken on full-time work etc, I can honestly say I live near some great neighbours. There is a good community spirit also- eg when someone's child was sick a few years ago, there was a collection for them, stuff like that. On the back of I think it was Urbanhunter's comment on having the harvest in, I just wondered how many of you are really rural or do you have neighbours that would help you out?

 

[dademoss]

I'm nowhere near rural, I'd have to drive to get there . I know the neighbors, we all help each other out. I know a lot of the "old timers" in the neighborhood from my walks with the dog. There are a few facebook groups for the township, and neighborhood. A community watch program, things like that.

 

[Magpie]

Nice to see so many trees about you @dademoss I'm sure those old timers look forward to 'the chats' as my daughter says

 

[Amish Heart]

We are rural, but have a really good community. Mostly farmers, but people here help each other in time of need, for sure.

 

[snappy1]

I'm not rural, but on my block there is only one house and neighbor. He is always willing to help us and I try to keep him fed when he is around.

 

[backlash]

I always wave to the neighbors as I drive by but I don't really know any of them.
I have never been inside any of their homes and they have never been inside of ours.
I prefer it like that.
If one asked for help I would be more than ready to assist but that's never happened.

 

[Weedygarden]

I am not rural, but miss some aspects of that, but not all.
During the pandemic, the community spirit was present. Neighbors do work to help clean walkways. When we had a big snow storm a couple decades ago, several people worked together to clear garage entrances and alley access.
One thing that I think about is that some people are very generous, reliable and are willing to help out in times of need. Others are only around when they want or need help, but never for helping. I've seen this at work, with "friends" and in other communities.

There are many kinds of communities. School, work, neighborhood, church, interest groups, others.
I see some people in some of my communities who never or rarely speak, even when I greet them. No one knows them and they don't know anyone.

I participated in a neighborhood event of going to see a movie and then meeting up for dinner to discuss it a number of years ago. One of the guys said he never speaks to people because he is an introvert. I am an introvert, but I have worked to reach out, speak, and get to know others in my communities. Just because someone might be an introvert, doesn't mean they cannot speak or greet others.

And then there are the extroverts who speak to everyone and anyone.

I have read that you are actually safer in your community if you know the people who live there with you. Of course there are people who are very different than we are, and there are people we might not really jive with.

 

[Morgan101]

I would consider my area suburban, but on the outer edge if that is possible. There are a couple of towns West of us (not far maybe 10-15 miles) that would be considered more rural, and the aerial map of our area looks much like Dademoss'. The neighbors are nice, and everybody stuck together when we were flooded. Everybody pitched in to fill sandbags, and helped those that really needed it.

One thing we have seen in our neighborhood is transition. We are the original owners, and we built the home. Only about half of the original owners are still here. We know most of the original owners, and are close to a few of them, but we do not know the new people at all. My wife has tried to stay friendly, but they are a much younger generation, and they don't seem to be interested in befriending the "old people who have been there forever". I would suspect that we built the house before some of them were born.

Bottom line, there isn't anybody in the neighborhood that I would trust in an SHTF situation.

 

[Mountain trapper]

We are definitely rural. Nearest neighbor is about 4 miles away, town is 18 miles. Most properties around here are large acreage and used mostly for grazing cattle. Our property is 100% surrounded by national forest land, which means that there is no private land bordering ours = no close neighbors ever. We love it here. The only downside is our elevation. We're about 2,200 feet higher than the valley so our winters are a little longer. I have plans of building a greenhouse this summer. It should be a big help with gardening.

 

[FarmOR]

Definitely rural here too. Most homesteads are 80+ acres (by law) to discourage scourge of suburban sprawling. Closest town is 15 miles. Closest neighbors are about a mile. I'm past the "dead end" and border the open desert. A canal runs through it...

I've been here for 18 years so know of most everyone. My best friends are two of my closest neighbors. One of which turned their basement into a neighborhood gathering "tiki" bar during the pandemic. That's been great fun!

The "snow ma geddon" winter of 17 was our most significant disaster. A whole lotta neighbors helping neighbors through that trial. And the small army of Mennonites men that saved my father's outbuildings from collapse! And neighbors helping neighbors rebuild their collapsed hay sheds afterwards.

I guess it's a product of your personality type how close at hand that you keep your neighbors, friends and family?

 

[Sourdough]

We are a community of eleven, 88 miles from Anchorage, Alaska. I have lived here for 24 years and there are several of the eleven I have never meet

. My nearest neighbor I have only meet once in 24 years. People here mind their own business, no one asks for help, people are expected to be responsible for their own needs and wellbeing.

 

[Supervisor42]

Suburban we are, and we have a great community .
When a spinny-thing blows thru, all of the neighbors emerge and you can expect a stream of them coming by and offering prepared foods if it is needed.
The power of the 'grapevine' is very strong here, and if you have tree limbs down, expect pickup trucks, with guys toting chainsaws, to converge in front of your house without even making a single call.
Being surrounded by Cajuns is a good thing.

 

[dademoss]

Got a call a bit ago from the "backyard" neighbor to check on us. He saw the blue flashy lights go down my street and wanted to check on us. The police stopped at the next bend, 200 yds away so I don't know what happened, but it's good to know your neighbors look out for you.

 

[montanabill]

I know a couple of neighbors and try to be on a nod and wave with anybody going past. In the summer I try to stop at any yard sale in the area just to chat up folks. I suspect more folks know who I am than I know them. Might be from driving around with 10 foot tall sculptures in the back of my toyota.

 

[Buffalo]

Here in Nebraska, we are in a rural town, roughly 5000 people now. Growing up here, it was 3000 and much more neighborly, and that was only 25 years ago. The neighborhood we live in now is an older neighborhood (built in the late 1800s/early 1900s), and unfortunately, several of the houses around us are rentals. Not that they being rentals is bad, it's just that it seems like there are people constantly moving in and constantly moving out. We know the neighbors on our side of the block well, one is the local vet and his wife, the other is a family with younger kids, although our youngest is the same age as their oldest and they are good friends (they even go to Awana together). Across the street are a couple of rentals and one new house that is owned by a teacher at the school (but she is my age with no kids and is hardly ever home).

Now, our place in Kansas is very rural. It is on the edge of an unincorporated little township. If there are 40 people there, I'd be surprised. The sense of community there is drastically different than here. When we are down at the homestead working, there is a constant stream of people stopping by to say hello and chat and even though there are a couple people that I don't care much for, in a situation where things went south, I believe that that group of people would band together much more easily and readily than the larger community in Nebraska.

 

[Morgan101]

Not that they being rentals is bad, it's just that it seems like there are people constantly moving in and constantly moving out

I have heard this said about rentals, and I thought it was quite appropriate. "The people who live in them don't own them so there is no reason to take care of them. The people who own them don't live in them so there is no reason to take care of them" Vicious circle. We had many renters in the neighborhood where I grew up. Never any issues, but we were not not friends with any of them.

 

[BBLife]

Some neighbors you just have to treat as John Wayne said in Mclintock ... "We may be neighbors but I don't have to be neighborly" and that's all I have to say about that...

 

[Peanut]

I think the definition of community has changed from my generation to this one. People are isolated now, disconnected from each other. The sense of community I grew up with is gone. My family came to this farm in the 1880’s so I know a lot of people and think in terms of generations. When I talk to young people in the area today I knew their great grandparents in many cases. Speaking of greats… My grandparents in total had 68 brothers and sisters, all married and had kids but one. That means I have 135 great aunts and uncles, don’t ask me how many cousins I have. I don’t know. I make the joke I’m related to half the people in 3 counties, not far from the truth… but we’re all disconnected from each other. The older folks get together but not young. We lost something great… and vital.

Man is resilient though. We saw communities and people come together after 911, and to a degree during covid. All it takes is a spark. In some ways I see it happening again now. Not there yet, the mind set is there but young folks don’t know how to be a community. They don’t know how to connect.

 

[backlash]

Prior to Covid us, my Aunts, Uncles, and cousins tried to get together once a month for pizza.
Covid ended that then an Aunt and Uncle died, another Uncle is not able to get out so we don't meet up any more.

 

[Buffalo]

I have heard this said about rentals, and I thought it was quite appropriate. "The people who live in them don't own them so there is no reason to take care of them. The people who own them don't live in them so there is no reason to take care of them" Vicious circle. We had many renters in the neighborhood where I grew up. Never any issues, but were not not friends with any of them.

Exactly. There have been a few renters around us that didn't take care of the places, but they seemed to move on quicker than the others, at the same time, the renters in our neighborhood are rarely there more than a year or at most two. I think this is only going to get worse, as fewer people are able to qualify for a mortgage. Even in our little town here, home prices are through the roof. What was a $90,000 home five years ago is now a $175,000 home. Wages in our area have not kept pace, so a young person going right into the workforce from high school is probably only pulling in $28 or $30000 a year. Those that go off to college come back to making more than that, but they all seem to have crushing student loan debt and/or a degree that is completely useless.

One of the basis' of community is neighbors, the basis of neighbors is home. If people can't call a house a home, then they won't be inclined to be part of the neighborhood, and thusly not part of the community. Add in the shift of communication to be in the electronic realm instead of the driveway or front porch, and the sense of community that we know is off of the threatened list and firmly in the endangered category.

 

[Patchouli]

Communities used to have more connection through churches. My congregation does a great job of checking on each other during times like this, as well as checking on neighbors, neighbors checking on us.
I’m a renter. Most of my neighbors are not. I’m also single and have a hard time keeping up with stuff outside sometimes. I’ve been in this house for at least five years. You’re right about the landlord not caring. They swoop into the neighborhoods to buy up the houses on the market. They’ve been renovating and doubling rent prices. Unreal.
Seems like the less space between us the bigger the void of connection.

 

[dademoss]

Lots of renters here. An outfit named "vinebrook" buys the houses out, then rents em for 2-3X what they should go for. Zoning in the City, County and township are constantly in court trying to make them do right, but it's a long long process.

 

[Amish Heart]

There aren't ever any places for rent or sale around us at all. Unless you put the word out for a family member needing something, then maybe a small house will be available.

 

[FarmOR]

Something that I didn't even think about when I moved to the country was renting farmers. Big and typically corporate farmers that gobble up available farm land for rent. And applying stereotype of "doesn't own it so doesn't give a dam about the long term effects"? How bad could it be? Yep. First hand account to this phenomenon.

When I moved to the country, I thought that I could take for granted two things: clean air and clean water. To my chagrin, neither held true. Largely in part due to neighboring renters!