When the SHTF I am taking my city flock to see bigpaul
Seriously, we will all be with our families and our friends with theirs, the single people are more likely to group with their single friends they know well. If you have another family that are preppers and you do stuff together now, then you are more likely do do stuff together post SHTF. It is really hard to trust new people when the chips are down; there are criminals out there that are very good at gaining people's trust though cunning rather than bullying them with force.
I read a fair bit about survival in war torn places and how people react, also a bit about gangs (but more on the current self-defense side); numbers will win over family. Unless you are all well trained, 4 fit male buddies as a survival group will be stronger against a group of thugs than one survivalist guy, his semi-on board wife, and their two kids...sometimes 2+2 does not equal 4
Gardening has more to do with your bug out location than it does with your BOB so I won't comment here on it other than say that I have done it and it takes time and trial with many errors. We are talking here about the look of your BOB attracting attention, well your garden can attract it as well so think of multiple hidden gardens with your root crops in one place and your bright above ground crops (ie Tomatoes) in a more sheltered (high vegetation) area.