Son

[GeorgiaPeachie]

Thank you.

They would say to me that if I was smart enough to become a paramedic, then I was smart enough to know how to not be autistic.

Autistic people sometimes have an all-consuming, obsessive interest. Sometimes it's trains, dinosaurs, light bulbs, etc... It's a symptom of what used to be called Asperger's Syndrome.

My mother would tell me that if I made "being normal" my special interest, then I would be normal. Since I don't choose to make normalcy my special interest, then I choose to be autistic.

If they accomodate my autistic tendencies, then it's like enabling an alcoholic or a drug addict.

Sorry, but your parents are wrong in their assertions. Not even a smidgen of truth in them.

 

[DrHenley]

Kevin, that sounds just like my father (but not my mother). I had some neurological problems including seizures that I think were caused by a head injury. When I tried to tell him about it, he acted like it was all imagined and blew me off. The worst part of the seizures was that I would chew up the sides of my tongue, which I told him about. I remember one time I was trying to talk to him about some problems I was having and he told me to go chew on my tongue. That was before he actually witnessed one of my seizures.

There was a family we were close to growing up who had a daughter that was a genuine savant. Of course we didn't know much about autism back then, so we didn't know what was wrong with her. At 18 months she could count to 100. Normally in the age range 18-24 months children can count to two.

She had serious adjustment problems in society. She ran away a number of times and would be found just wandering along the road. She attempted suicide a number of times, and even jumped off of a bridge once causing serious injuries.

I had a very good relationship with her, however. When she was failing in math, I tutored her. She had no problems at all learning the math, in fact she picked up everything almost immediately. I was so confused about why she had not learned anything in school. I even asked her "Didn't they teach you this in school???" She said "No."

 

[Maverick]

Thank you.

They would say to me that if I was smart enough to become a paramedic, then I was smart enough to know how to not be autistic.

Autistic people sometimes have an all-consuming, obsessive interest. Sometimes it's trains, dinosaurs, light bulbs, etc... It's a symptom of what used to be called Asperger's Syndrome.

My mother would tell me that if I made "being normal" my special interest, then I would be normal. Since I don't choose to make normalcy my special interest, then I choose to be autistic.

If they accomodate my autistic tendencies, then it's like enabling an alcoholic or a drug addict.

Wow, sounds like your parents were in denial.
My cousin has a son with autism, she now is a special educator for autistic kids and teaches parents how to deal with autistic kids... choice, I think not!

 

[user 7704]

Kevin, my heart hurts for you. I can't imagine being disappointed in you for something complete out of your hands. I would like to slap your family. Sorry if I overstepped.

FraX is hereditary but no one else has ever shown any signs. I am the carrier and had lots of guilt that I am the reason he is how he is.

 

[tmttactical]

I know. My parents (especially my mother) once told me that they wouldn't have had a problem if I had turned out gay (I'm not)--they would have thrown me a coming-out party--but being autistic was unacceptable.

I have had similar issues with my work and other relationships most of my life.

Thank you for the validation, though.

In fairness to them, it isn't easy being in a relationship with an autistic person.

It is not easy being a parent but you DO NOT PUNISH the child for an act of nature. Your parents still suck.

 

[KateMTx]

Kevin, my heart hurts for you. I can't imagine being disappointed in you for something complete out of your hands. I would like to slap your family. Sorry if I overstepped.

FraX is hereditary but no one else has ever shown any signs. I am the carrier and had lots of guilt that I am the reason he is how he is.

I know you know, but it's not your fault either that you're a carrier. I believe God makes each person unique and while some of us may have more struggles than others he often puts other special people in their lives to love them. You are one of those special people.
My youngest sister has Down Syndrome (she was born when my mom was 41). Of course my parents chose to have another child, knowing the risk at that age, but also knowing no matter what we would all love her the same.

 

[Kevin L]

Kevin, that sounds just like my father (but not my mother). I had some neurological problems including seizures that I think were caused by a head injury. When I tried to tell him about it, he acted like it was all imagined and blew me off. The worst part of the seizures was that I would chew up the sides of my tongue, which I told him about. I remember one time I was trying to talk to him about some problems I was having and he told me to go chew on my tongue. That was before he actually witnessed one of my seizures.

There was a family we were close to growing up who had a daughter that was a genuine savant. Of course we didn't know much about autism back then, so we didn't know what was wrong with her. At 18 months she could count to 100. Normally in the age range 18-24 months children can count to two.

She had serious adjustment problems in society. She ran away a number of times and would be found just wandering along the road. She attempted suicide a number of times, and even jumped off of a bridge once causing serious injuries.

I had a very good relationship with her, however. When she was failing in math, I tutored her. She had no problems at all learning the math, in fact she picked up everything almost immediately. I was so confused about why she had not learned anything in school. I even asked her "Didn't they teach you this in school???" She said "No."

I'm sorry that you went through this when you were younger, but it's good that it gave you the insight to help with your friend's daughter.

Thank you for the validation.

 

[Kevin L]

It is not easy being a parent but you DO NOT PUNISH the child for an act of nature. Your parents still suck.

Thank you for the validation.

People don't understand autism, or the social blindness that goes with it.

 

[Kevin L]

Kevin, my heart hurts for you. I can't imagine being disappointed in you for something complete out of your hands. I would like to slap your family. Sorry if I overstepped.

FraX is hereditary but no one else has ever shown any signs. I am the carrier and had lots of guilt that I am the reason he is how he is.

There was no way that you could have known.

People can get all the genetic tests in the world, and you can still have a child with a disability. Other mothers (if you want to call them that) can smoke crack and cigarettes for their entire pregnancy, and have a kid that is completely healthy.

You shouldn't feel guilty.

 

[Kevin L]

Wow, sounds like your parents were in denial.
My cousin has a son with autism, she now is a special educator for autistic kids and teaches parents how to deal with autistic kids... choice, I think not!

It's good that she is more insightful about what autism is, and used her son as an inspiration to become a special ed teacher.

Thank you for the validation.

 

[Kevin L]

Oh Kevin, that is awful! I can’t understand those actions. I hope you’ve spoken with a therapist about it because you should understand it is THEIR PROBLEM, not your autism that is the real issue here.

Thank you very much for caring.

I muddle through.

 

[GeorgiaPeachie]

Thank you very much for caring.

I muddle through.

Kevin, never doubt that You DESERVE caring and understanding on this challenge in your life. Some parents struggle with acceptance because they feel guilty of perhaps being responsible for it.

 

[Kevin L]

Kevin, never doubt that You DESERVE caring and understanding on this challenge in your life. Some parents struggle with acceptance because they feel guilty of perhaps being responsible for it.

Thank you very much.

 

[Kevin L]

We have a literal army of Black Widow Spiders in our neck of the woods. In almost every nook and cranny we can find one of those buggers. I don’t like to kill any of God’s creations, but Black Widows and Southwestern Rattlesnakes are on my death list.

Too bad you feel that way about rattlesnakes.

If it was up to me, I'd have them on my property by choice.

Rattlesnakes love to eat rodents . . . and rats carry truly huge numbers of diseases.

Rats are fairly intelligent, and have finely honed survival instincts. If there are snakes around, rats figure it out and vacate the area. I like the idea of my land being snake-infested post SHTF, as I'll have a natural barrier to rats (and their diseases), when I may not have access to an exterminator.

Rattlesnakes themselves don't carry diseases (although any reptile kept in a cage with inadequate cleanliness may become a vector for Salmonella).