Transgender friend: yes or no?

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AmirSalaam

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Mar 2, 2017
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Middle East
I don't really know who to talk to about this, so I'm just going to dump it into the off topic section of an online forum..

A male high school friend of mine, who I still communicate with but never see, just revealed to me yesterday that he intends to begin the surgical process of becoming a woman.

It was over the phone and I couldn't help but sort of nod along and agree with him because I was in complete shock. I did not have many friends in high school, and am in no position to judge anybody... But this definitely doesn't sit well with me. I thought I was pretty open minded about transgendered people but the tables definitely turn a little when it affects someone you know.

Does anyone here have any transgender friends? Did their personality change in the process? Is there any reasonable way to try to convince him that he's making an awful (and costly) decision?

Sorry if this topic is too weird, but I just needed to vent because I don't know who else to talk about it with.

Thank you!

Amir
 
well,if he's a good friend,be a friend too,personality don't change.
this is my opinion,do know some won't agree,but what the heck,I don't loose sleep over it.
 
if he is a friend does it matter what sex he or she is?? its the friendship that important not what bits they have.
 
The gender does not matter to me. I have friends that are both male and female. But I have never had a friend change from one to the other.

I know it should not be a big deal, but it is just very unexpected. I did not even know he was into men until our phone call yesterday. I don't mind that he is, but I feel a little deceived as a friend for not knowing sooner. We've been friends for 20+ years at this point!
 
My feeling is all or nothing on it. Either commit, or admit you're just a cross-dresser.

The women I've known who transformed (surgically, the whole bit) to men...(two of them..one is a coworker, the other, the kids' uncle..now)...are much happier now. A male I know who did the same...miserable.

Until you're done though...sorry, you are "in between", which means yeah, guess what...the world isn't going to cater to less than half a percent folks.....too bad. Suck it up buttercup.

As long as they went the full distance, I'm happy using their preferred pronoun, etc. But until then, I treat 'em as I've known them.

My son "says" he's considering it, but I honestly don't think he's serious. While I want him to do what makes him happy, I also know that he has NO idea about anything else in his life, so why should this be different?
 
This is an interesting topic. I have seen both extremes, where some people think it's perfectly normal for someone to feel like a member of the opposite sex, while others think getting a sex change makes you a freak.

I guess I am somewhere in the middle. If someone wants to change their sex, that is their right. But me personally? I think it's weird.
 
I like seeing answers on both sides of the fence. It makes me think that there isn't one absolutely correct way for me to respond, but perhaps several ways that are appropriate.

For those of you who find it too weird... In my position, would you try to convince your friend to reconsider? If so, how? ... Or would you just throw in the towel on the friendship right away?
 
Oh, I still think it's freaky weird, don't get me wrong...but after seeing two people so happy and well adjusted, I'm more accepting of it. Gay dudes are weird as hell to me too (can't argue with gay women, they like what I like), but hey, it doesn't impact me, so who am I to get in the way of their happiness?
 
In my position, would you try to convince your friend to reconsider? If so, how? ... Or would you just throw in the towel on the friendship right away?
Click to expand...

There isn't much that can cause me to throw in the towel on a friendship. Betrayal of trust is really about it....and even then, has to be pretty bad. The friends I have tend to be lifers.
 
If I had a friend that came to me and said that he wanted to try being a woman I'd tell him that he's f#$@ing nuts and to quit the stupid talk. Born a man, always a man. Nope. I don't think I'd want a friend that was that messed up in the head. Why would any man in his right mind want to be as unstable and as irrational as a woman? OK, I'm just joking about that part, kind of.
 
I personally don't care what other people do. If you're gay, bi, or just plain old weird, it dosent change my mind about things. I only worry about how I feel about things in life. I'm actually glad there are so many different people in the
world, it makes it a more interesting place.
As far as being hurt that your friend didn't tell you about this, my advice is try understanding how hard it was for them to keep it hidden for so long from shame and embarrassment.
Another thing about gay, transgendered and other varieties. As I said, I don't judge and feel what we do in the privacy of ones bedroom is no one else's business. I do however take offense when everyone says we must be proud and celebrate it. I don't want public schools teaching little kids that it's wonderful to be gay. I think tolerance is a must, and bullying is wrong, but celebrating it? I don't wear it on my sleeve that I like sex with women, I think that's a private thing between two people and none of anyone's business.
 
In all honesty those people are freaks. God gave boys a penis and girls a vagina. Those transsexuals are just mutilating their bodies because they have a screw loose. No need to try and sugar coat it.
 
Admittedly, it does not have to do with prepping. Just wanted a few different perspectives because I'm unsure how I should be reacting.

I am part Indian, Skeeter, but I think I still would have asked had I been born in America. Again, thanks for the feedback!
 
Amir, you have raised some red flags with me too, but the jury is still out.

You just joined. If you are serious about prepping, why not stick with just talking about prepping issues until you get to know us and we get to know you. Then maybe you can start talking about personal things like this.
 
DrHenley said:
Amir, you have raised some red flags with me too, but the jury is still out.

You just joined. If you are serious about prepping, why not stick with just talking about prepping issues until you get to know us and we get to know you. Then maybe you can start talking about personal things like this.
Click to expand...
That makes sense. I just don't have a lot of people to talk to. But I also don't want to be a bother. If a moderator sees this, please delete my thread :oops:
 
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