Understanding Narcissism and Narcissists

[LadyLocust]

Are any of you a narcissist? Take this quiz and let us know how you score, if you can be honest.

https://psychcentral.com/quizzes/narcissistic-personality-quiz

I'm not. A couple questions I didn't like - don't want to follow orders but don't want to order people either - just leave me alone Also, don't like crowds let alone gaining attention in one. That answered several questions right there.

 

[Weedygarden]

I'm not. A couple questions I didn't like - don't want to follow orders but don't want to order people either - just leave me alone Also, don't like crowds let alone gaining attention in one. That answered several questions right there.

I felt the same way about those two questions. Just because you are not giving orders does not mean you want to take them.

 

[Weedygarden]

If you love YouTube videos:

 

[Weedygarden]

This is all about covert narcissism. Long video--30 minutes.

 

[Amish Heart]

There's a bunch of them on youtube, one a guy does that I like to listen to. Especially when mom is driving me nuts, it just helps to hear it.
I've learned there's no changing narcs. Either put up with them without it hurting you, or walk away. My sis and I make jokes about how ridiculous mom gets, and that helps put it into perspective.
Lately she's been on the.....I'm the most beautiful, the best, my flower garden is the best, my apartment is better than anybody elses because it's unique, my jeans are the best.....
pretty easy to make fun of.
You know that "Catwalk" song? We secretly sing....I'm too sexy for the Manor, too sexy for my friends...and we add stuff and crack up.

 

[Weedygarden]

There's a bunch of them on youtube, one a guy does that I like to listen to. Especially when mom is driving me nuts, it just helps to hear it.
I've learned there's no changing narcs. Either put up with them without it hurting you, or walk away. My sis and I make jokes about how ridiculous mom gets, and that helps put it into perspective.
Lately she's been on the.....I'm the most beautiful, the best, my flower garden is the best, my apartment is better than anybody elses because it's unique, my jeans are the best.....
pretty easy to make fun of.
You know that "Catwalk" song? We secretly sing....I'm too sexy for the Manor, too sexy for my friends...and we add stuff and crack up.

Hilarious!

 

[Amish Heart]

There it is! Love it!

 

[Weedygarden]

There it is! Love it!

In the narcissist groups, there are discussions about which movies have a narcissistic character. Never thought of songs that were for narcissists, except this one.

 

[Neb]

In the narcissist groups, there are discussions about which movies have a narcissistic character. Never thought of songs that were for narcissists, except this one.

Does vanity = narc?

Ben

 

[Weedygarden]

Does vanity = narc?

Ben

noun

1. 1.
   excessive pride in or admiration of one's own appearance or achievements.
   "it flattered his vanity to think I was in love with him"

 

[Neb]

noun

1. 1.
   excessive pride in or admiration of one's own appearance or achievements.
   "it flattered his vanity to think I was in love with him"

But you didn't answer my question.

My youngest granddaughter has been spending time in front of a mirror and make-up.

Is she a narc in the making ( like her grandmother).
?

Ben

 

[Weedygarden]

But you didn't answer my question.

My youngest granddaughter has been spending time in front of a mirror and make-up.

Is she a narc in the making ( like her grandmother).
?

Ben

Narcs often are consumed by how they look. Your granddaughter may be a narc or she may not. It is hard to know since I have never met her and am not a psychiatrist or psychologist, just have lots of experience with narcissists. That would only be one symptom. From all the other things shared in this thread, what else might make you think she is a narc? Does she have empathy for others? Does she have a need to be the center of attention? Is she cruel to others that she might see as competition to her?

 

[Neb]

Narcs often are consumed by how they look. Your granddaughter may be a narc or she may not. It is hard to know since I have never met her and am not a psychiatrist or psychologist, just have lots of experience with narcissists. That would only be one symptom. From all the other things shared in this thread, what else might make you think she is a narc? Does she have empathy for others? Does she have a need to be the center of attention? Is she cruel to others that she might see as competition to her?

Now I am thinking...

Re:your questions

No yes yes.

Is 7 years old too early to be concerned?

Ben

 

[Weedygarden]

Now I am thinking...

Re:your questions

No yes yes.

Is 7 years old too early to be concerned?

Ben

It's hard to say. From everything I have read, there is no cure, but I wonder about therapy? I am certainly not one to tell you what to do.

 

[Neb]

It's hard to say. From everything I have read, there is no cure, but I wonder about therapy? I am certainly not one to tell you what to do.

That's ok. Only The Princess tells me what to do.



I will bring up the topic with her mother. I may not live long enough to find out but if I help head off her becoming her grandmother ( my X) your thread here may save a squandered life.

Ben

 

[winds-of-change]

It's hard to say. From everything I have read, there is no cure, but I wonder about therapy? I am certainly not one to tell you what to do.

Why would a narcissist go to therapy when they think they are perfect and it’s everyone else who needs therapy.
My ex and I went to marital counseling. One time, on the drive home, he told me if I’d just let him do what he wanted and quit ‘nagging’, our marriage would be fine. Also, whenever the counselor had suggestions on how he could improve, he’d stop going to counseling for a few weeks.

 

[Weedygarden]

Why would a narcissist go to therapy when they think no they are perfect and it’s everyone else who needs therapy.

Right? They usually won't. They get angry at the people who suggest they are not perfect. But when you have children, it is different.

 

[Amish Heart]

Forgot about that song, "You're so Vain". Good one, Weedy.
My mom is a very vain narc. I supposed people could be just vain and not a narc. She is 88 and believes she is the prettiest woman at the Mennonite Manor. The other day she called with a rant about Elverta, another lady there. I've met Elverta, and she's about 15 yrs younger than mom, and is a pretty lady. Also very sweet. Mom is insanely jealous, because she believes, but won't admit, that Elverta is prettier than she is. And mom will want her Daisy Dukes this summer, and I'll still say, no, we are not shopping for those. She still likes to strut with her walk if you can imagine that. When I was young, she would mow the front lawn in her bikini. All the dads would come out to watch. Mom was the only divorcee for miles. I would die of embarrassment.
She would put on those shiny white vinyl go go boots and turn up Nancy Sinatra's, "These Boots Were Made for Walking" and dance all over the house. You have to remember that she was raised in a conservative Amish household, then moved to California. She absolutely hates that I dress conservatively, and always wear a skirt. I absolutely love it irritates her.

 

[Weedygarden]

I wonder if anyone could ever get a black out with this?

 

[Meerkat]

I wonder if anyone could ever get a black out with this?

View attachment 65228

That just described the humane race.But I don't think its good fro anyone to be a continual vitim of anything including narcism. Before long everyone will lokk like a narc you disagree with.

 

[Peanut]

I wonder if anyone could ever get a black out with this?

Excellent description of a Narcissist. Makes it easy to differentiate them from normal people. Thanks weedy!

 

[Weedygarden]

Excellent description of a Narcissist. Makes it easy to differentiate them from normal people. Thanks weedy!

You're welcome. A visual like this can make things clearer than paragraphs sometimes.

 

[Peanut]

Exactly, once someone can identify a narcissist in their life, the first step. They can then take steps to mitigate the damage a narcissist inflicts on others, especially on children. I’ve only known one mother in my entire life who fits that chart. I’m sure there were a few others but I didn’t know them very long. From the time I was a small child I was taught to deal with all things with logic and reason, the two things a narcissist hates the most, because it exposes them. Logic forces their lies into full view for everyone to see. Narcissists avoid that like the plague.

My mom had 7 sisters, great mothers, not a narcissist in the bunch. In years past I may not have understood the term narcissist but I certainly knew the difference between a good mother and a horrible one.

 

[Amish Heart]

Narcs believe that most people act like that, and they don't. Normal people don't do any of those things. For a blackout regarding mom, I'm just missing three.

 

[Weedygarden]

Narcs believe that most people act like that, and they don't. Normal people don't do any of those things. For a blackout regarding mom, I'm just missing three.

Isn't that amazing? Missing just three for a blackout?
For one of my narcs, I am missing about the same amount.

Narcs will always see themselves as superior, but don't point out that they may not be, or that some may not be, even in a general discussion. Ever heard a narc deny that they did something that they actually have done, because it shows that they are in fact flawed? I know you have, Amish. The narcs I have known are always angry about their lack of perfection being shown to them, or them realizing that others see them for who they really are. They are enraged, even if no one else has noticed or said anything to them or about them, because it is so much a part of them. Imagine how it is stuck in their craw. Am I the person pointing out other's flaws? No, but I have seen it done and the rage is predictable and incredible.

 

[Amish Heart]

The excuse I hear from narcs is that lots of people are that way, many people act like that, or the world is like that. That always frosts me, because decent people don't act like narcs. But narcs think that they do, only they believe that they are better at it. Who in their right mind sits around plotting on how to get back at people? After dealing with my mom, and a few other narcs I've known, I believe it's a mental illness. A way of seeing the world, how it works, and the people in it in a very twisted way. And not having empathy is not human.

 

[Weedygarden]

 

[viking]

Thank you Weedygarden for thread, I have friends that are living on her brother's property and what he has done emotionally to his three daughters is unconscionable, one daughter is moving away without telling her family where she is going, the other two don't seem to have the strength to get away yet, hopefully they will, they are beautiful, smart girls but have all taken emotional abuse which has messed them up, it's very sad, narcissism is satan's tool which can only be overcame by God and Jesus Christ.

 

[Neb]

Thank you Weedygarden for thread, I have friends that are living on her brother's property and what he has done emotionally to his three daughters is unconscionable, one daughter is moving away without telling her family where she is going, the other two don't seem to have the strength to get away yet, hopefully they will, they are beautiful, smart girls but have all taken emotional abuse which has messed them up, it's very sad, narcissism is satan's tool which can only be overcame by God and Jesus Christ.

Thank you for that.

I have been lax in not showing my girls that God is watching them even when grampa isn't.

Ben

 

[Weedygarden]

Thank you Weedygarden for thread, I have friends that are living on her brother's property and what he has done emotionally to his three daughters is unconscionable, one daughter is moving away without telling her family where she is going, the other two don't seem to have the strength to get away yet, hopefully they will, they are beautiful, smart girls but have all taken emotional abuse which has messed them up, it's very sad, narcissism is satan's tool which can only be overcame by God and Jesus Christ.

I agree with you whole heartedly on this comment. If you read the bible and listen to good biblical teaching, you know that you are supposed to be at peace with all people. It is so hard to do that when someone just wants to be abusive, verbally and emotionally and otherwise. I pray about it, and all the people who have been abusive, but not everyone can. Today our church prayed for the people who broke in this week. It was good for all of us, especially the children who need this modeled for them.