Couples you never thought would split

[joel]

My Father sowed his wild oats & mother sent him packing, I found out years later, he had cheated on my mother with a neighbor daughter, a few years after moving to the Farm. Father & the neighbor seem to hate each other, no one in the family ever knew what started it. I do not think my mother ever knew, years later she caught them with another woman & they divorced.

 

[backlash]

I worked with a guy that had a medical issue so he went to the doctor. Doc said you have herpes. He said no way. He had been married to his high school sweetheart for over 40 years. He told her what the doc said and she said there was no way and he needed to see a different doc. He came home the next day and she had moved out and left him a note. She took everything of value and cleaned out the bank account. Yep, she had a young stud. About 2 months later she came back and pleaded for him to take her back. He just laughed and slammed the door in her face. Her family, including her kids and Grandkids, disowned her.

 

[phideaux]

Well, that's it we're done..I want a divorce.


Not many things that bring me as much joy as a good fart...

All I get for it is grief...

Jim

 

[Meerkat]

September 10th will be 54 years for my wife and I.

Can't even imagine living without her.

We do everything together.
We talk about what we will do when one is gone.

How she can continue and how I will continue.
That's a hard conversation.

I'm thinking when one dies , shortly after the other will die of broken heart and lonliness.

Cheating or divorce is not even in our vocabulary.

Jim

That is great Jim. Yall have 10 years on us but we both divorced when met.
And have the same kinds of conversations.

 

[hashbrown]

I was married 15 years to a selfish woman, we had nice things and a good business. I worked 7 days a week and the last 5 years we were married I lived in my shop and not a soul knew that. I remember waking up one morning and realizing I didn't have to live like that anymore. It shocked everyone because I had put up a good front the entire time. To this day I don't have the money the cars or the houses but I have a sweet wife and a good boy of my own. Far as I'm concerned I changed my stars for the better.

 

[Meerkat]

I was married 15 years to a selfish woman, we had nice things and a good business. I worked 7 days a week and the last 5 years we were married I lived in my shop and not a soul knew that. I remember waking up one morning and realizing I didn't have to live like that anymore. It shocked everyone because I had put up a good front the entire time. To this day I don't have the money the cars or the houses but I have a sweet wife and a good boy of my own. Far as I'm concerned I changed my stars for the better.

Good for you HashB, like us the second time around was the charm.

 

[hashbrown]

Good for you HashB, like us the second time around was the charm.

I think I had to go through it to really appreciate what I have now. It's strange to me now when I think back on my history I can barely recall much about those times.

 

[Meerkat]

I think I had to go through it to really appreciate what I have now. It's strange to me now when I think back on my history I can barely recall much about those times.

HashB thats a good thing ,means no baggage.

 

[BadgerLandHunter]

Coolest thing growing up was the old married couple that were neighbors. They use to raise hogs and had some small farm fields. Married 57+ years until the husband died. The wife is still living but says she is ready to go home and be with him again. They use to say you will have fights but you will get through it.

I also heard (TV so take it with a grain of salt) that why more couples may have stayed together in "the old days" was out of need. Families living off the earth needed a partner to help around the farm. Now days you can work from home and have almost aanything delivered to your door.
Both sexes have equal rights and their is no NEED for the other if you don't want to.

Co-worker constantly complains about her bad husband and marriage and how if she wasn't catholic she would divorce him already. Its actually pretty sad to hear her go on about it thinking he might not know how bad it actually is. (Although she has anger issues also so he probably hears some of it)

 

[Weedygarden]

My Father sowed his wild oats & mother sent him packing, I found out years later, he had cheated on my mother with a neighbor daughter, a few years after moving to the Farm. Father & the neighbor seem to hate each other, no one in the family ever knew what started it. I do not think my mother ever knew, years later she caught them with another woman & they divorced.

I knew someone who was the product of his young mother and a married neighbor man. She was sent away to stay with her brother to have the baby. After the baby boy was born, young mother returned home and married another man a couple years later. Son never new who his biological father was, but interestingly enough, he had half brothers in the same narrow field of work in the same small city they lived in. I well imagine the half brothers knew each other. There was an odd look in this family and the son had cousins who saw his father and knew immediately there was a relationship there. The mother never talked to anyone about the situation again in her lifetime. It was shameful.

 

[Morgan101]

I also heard (TV so take it with a grain of salt) that why more couples may have stayed together in "the old days" was out of need. Families living off the earth needed a partner to help around the farm. Now days you can work from home and have almost aanything delivered to your door.
Both sexes have equal rights and their is no NEED for the other if you don't want to.

That may be part of it, but we have been an urban economy for over 100 years. I could see rural people or settlers staying together for that reason. I would like to see the data.

IMHO even for my generation people took a vow, and gave their word, and that meant something. A man's word was his bond. It meant honesty and integrity. I have seen it change in my lifetime where things went from a handshake to a written contract to I don't care if you have a contract. Sue me. Peoples' word means nothing anymore. Finding honesty and integrity is like looking for hen's teeth. People are not committed to each other from the start, and refuse to work through difficult issues. It is easier to walk away.

 

[BadgerLandHunter]

That may be part of it, but we have been an urban economy for over 100 years. I could see rural people or settlers staying together for that reason. I would like to see the data.

IMHO even for my generation people took a vow, and gave their word, and that meant something. A man's word was his bond. It meant honesty and integrity. I have seen it change in my lifetime where things went from a handshake to a written contract to I don't care if you have a contract. Sue me. Peoples' word means nothing anymore. Finding honesty and integrity is like looking for hen's teeth. People are not committed to each other from the start, and refuse to work through difficult issues. It is easier to walk away.

True a hand shake isn't good enough. Sign of the times I guess

 

[Weedygarden]

That may be part of it, but we have been an urban economy for over 100 years. I could see rural people or settlers staying together for that reason. I would like to see the data.

IMHO even for my generation people took a vow, and gave their word, and that meant something. A man's word was his bond. It meant honesty and integrity. I have seen it change in my lifetime where things went from a handshake to a written contract to I don't care if you have a contract. Sue me. Peoples' word means nothing anymore. Finding honesty and integrity is like looking for hen's teeth. People are not committed to each other from the start, and refuse to work through difficult issues. It is easier to walk away.

I have a relative who found out on her wedding day that her soon to be husband had been two timing her. She had family that drove hundreds of miles to attend her wedding, and there were other things that she couldn't deal with in her mind at the time. She decided to get married and to move forward. Then husband didn't think he had to have fidelity, and since she is a hard worker and her parents would and did help out financially, didn't think he needed to be so concerned about always having a job. That marriage didn't last long.

 

[Terri9630]

I worked with a guy for 8 years before I found out he was divorced. His (ex) wife was always with him. Drove him to and from work, they shopped together, went out together, shared vehicles.... Heck, they were ALWAYS together. They had been married for 25yrs, divorced for 18. When they divorced he gave her the house and half the land. He built a house on the other half so they lived next door to each other. They were great friends and loved each other, just couldn't stand to live together.

 

[Weedygarden]

I worked with a guy for 8 years before I found out he was divorced. His (ex) wife was always with him. Drove him to and from work, they shopped together, went out together, shared vehicles.... Heck, they were ALWAYS together. They had been married for 25yrs, divorced for 18. When they divorced he gave her the house and half the land. He built a house on the other half so they lived next door to each other. They were great friends and loved each other, just couldn't stand to live together.

Maybe like the Odd Couple, one is a neat freak, and the other a complete slob.

 

[backlash]

My nephew lived with a woman for 12 years. They were happy and got along really well. They decided to get married. Got divorced 2 years later. They just couldn't get along after they married. I guess marriage changed their expectations.

 

[Weedygarden]

My nephew lived with a woman for 12 years. They were happy and got along really well. They decided to get married. Got divorced 2 years later. They just couldn't get along after they married. I guess marriage changed their expectations.

I have read that this is a common thing, people live together for a long time, but once they finally marry, it goes downhill fast. People who have lived together for a while are much more likely to divorce than others, at least according to what I read. There are people who have relationships with someone and know they have issues with the person, so marriage is not a good idea. I always wonder why even stay in that relationship? Why not move on?

A cousin of mine is a very odd person. She is 6'1" and really never dated until she met one man. They ended up living together for many years, maybe 15. He told her he never wanted to get married. I totally get it, because I know her. I don't know what happened, but he broke up with her and in about a year he was married to someone else. Her family was so angry at him, because his relationship with her, and how he controlled her, kept her from ever having a family. I am not so sure I agree with her family about that. She could have left.

 

[Terri9630]

Maybe like the Odd Couple, one is a neat freak, and the other a complete slob.

No. They are both stubborn and wanted things done their way and it caused issues. They are a wonderful couple as long as they have their own house. Their houses are almost identical, even inside. They take turns cooking and eating at each other's houses if they aren't going out. If one isn't feeling well the other fusses over the ill one and takes care of them. Its the sweetest, oddest thing I've ever seen.

 

[Morgan101]

Remember this old quote?

Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed.

 

[SheepDog]

It is still true today......

 

[ClemKadiddlehopper]

Here are two other reasons. Mama's boy and intolerance to getting old. The only person my hubby has ever truly cared about is his mother. Even though she passed 20 years ago, she is still a dividing entity in our family. We all just learned never to bring her up, even in a good light, as it would always end up wrong some how.

The man will bend over backwards for complete strangers and treat them with utmost consideration. His family gets treated like dirt and he cannot see it.

He absolutely cannot tolerate the effects of me getting older. He does not believe that my eye sight is not the superman eye sight I had eight years ago. I cannot see my dinner plate clearly without reading glasses now, and he keeps insisting that I can and gets angry when he shows me something and I say I need my glasses to see it. He said the optometrist was bad when he said I needed glasses to see. The prescription had to be wrong.

I am getting considerably weaker. I have been sitting in a bus eight hours a day for three years and have lost my ability to lift 100 lb feed sacks and cement bags. That makes me lazy. its just an excuse to stand around twiddling my thumbs. I get tired and have lost my mojo. Anyways you all get the drift.

People love the guy, I don't anymore. I have been doing my best to understand and carry my weight but I cannot any longer. I know I am hated.

There was a thread here somewhere about phrases I never want to hear again.

Shut the %$# up
Who cares
You deserve what you get
Tell yourself enough stories and you begin to believe them
You are a lier and a manipulator

You are lazy (I put in 12-16 hours a day between the farm work, cooking and driving the bus) I haven't gotten the out building repair list taken care of or the barns cleaned as I have been tiling floors and bathrooms to sell the farm)


He asked for divorce today. I saw that one coming, but I bet know one else did. He makes a point to build me up to others but when they leave, he tears me down.

41 one years. I was a14 year old ignorant country bumpkin when I met him and married at 19. Apparently I haven't changed much.

Sorry, I guess this more of a rant then anything.

 

[phideaux]

Here are two other reasons. Mama's boy and intolerance to getting old. The only person my hubby has ever truly cared about is his mother. Even though she passed 20 years ago, she is still a dividing entity in our family. We all just learned never to bring her up, even in a good light, as it would always end up wrong some how.

The man will bend over backwards for complete strangers and treat them with utmost consideration. His family gets treated like dirt and he cannot see it.

He absolutely cannot tolerate the effects of me getting older. He does not believe that my eye sight is not the superman eye sight I had eight years ago. I cannot see my dinner plate clearly without reading glasses now, and he keeps insisting that I can and gets angry when he shows me something and I say I need my glasses to see it. He said the optometrist was bad when he said I needed glasses to see. The prescription had to be wrong.

I am getting considerably weaker. I have been sitting in a bus eight hours a day for three years and have lost my ability to lift 100 lb feed sacks and cement bags. That makes me lazy. its just an excuse to stand around twiddling my thumbs. I get tired and have lost my mojo. Anyways you all get the drift.

People love the guy, I don't anymore. I have been doing my best to understand and carry my weight but I cannot any longer. I know I am hated.

There was a thread here somewhere about phrases I never want to hear again.

Shut the %$# up
Who cares
You deserve what you get
Tell yourself enough stories and you begin to believe them
You are a lier and a manipulator

You are lazy (I put in 12-16 hours a day between the farm work, cooking and driving the bus) I haven't gotten the out building repair list taken care of or the barns cleaned as I have been tiling floors and bathrooms to sell the farm)


He asked for divorce today. I saw that one coming, but I bet know one else did. He makes a point to build me up to others but when they leave, he tears me down.

41 one years. I was a14 year old ignorant country bumpkin when I met him and married atc19. Apparently I haven't changed much.

Sorry, I guess this more of a rant then anything.

Your still young.

Give it to him and , and move on to better life, and get with people that truly care about you.

Sorry .

Jim

 

[Morgan101]

Another old adage just to brighten things up a little bit.

The only perfect marriage was Adam and Eve. She couldn't talk about all the other men she could have married; and he couldn't talk about his Mother's cooking.

 

[Weedygarden]

Here are two other reasons. Mama's boy and intolerance to getting old. The only person my hubby has ever truly cared about is his mother. Even though she passed 20 years ago, she is still a dividing entity in our family. We all just learned never to bring her up, even in a good light, as it would always end up wrong some how.

The man will bend over backwards for complete strangers and treat them with utmost consideration. His family gets treated like dirt and he cannot see it.

He absolutely cannot tolerate the effects of me getting older. He does not believe that my eye sight is not the superman eye sight I had eight years ago. I cannot see my dinner plate clearly without reading glasses now, and he keeps insisting that I can and gets angry when he shows me something and I say I need my glasses to see it. He said the optometrist was bad when he said I needed glasses to see. The prescription had to be wrong.

I am getting considerably weaker. I have been sitting in a bus eight hours a day for three years and have lost my ability to lift 100 lb feed sacks and cement bags. That makes me lazy. Its just an excuse to stand around twiddling my thumbs. I get tired and have lost my mojo. Anyways you all get the drift.

People love the guy, I don't anymore. I have been doing my best to understand and carry my weight but I cannot any longer. I know I am hated.

There was a thread here somewhere about phrases I never want to hear again.

Shut the %$# up
Who cares
You deserve what you get
Tell yourself enough stories and you begin to believe them
You are a liar and a manipulator

You are lazy (I put in 12-16 hours a day between the farm work, cooking and driving the bus) I haven't gotten the out building repair list taken care of or the barns cleaned as I have been tiling floors and bathrooms to sell the farm)

He asked for divorce today. I saw that one coming, but I bet know one else did. He makes a point to build me up to others but when they leave, he tears me down.

41 one years. I was a 14 year old ignorant country bumpkin when I met him and married at 19. Apparently I haven't changed much.

Sorry, I guess this more of a rant then anything.

I am so sorry. He wants a divorce? Give it to him faster than he imagined. You absolutely deserve better than how he has been treating you. 41 years is a long time, but how much of it has been too long? For some of us, it is apparent fairly soon that we made a mistake. Sometimes it is good for a long time, until it isn't.

I never thought I would divorce. I know others who thought the same thing. Sometimes this life is too short to put up with the stuff that comes our way. Some people are not who we think they are. Some people put on one face until they say "I do," and then they change. That is not your situation, but I have heard so many stories.

I have a friend who was married for more than 20 years. When she received a cancer diagnosis, he was gone in a flash. She was so shocked. Fortunately, there were no children. I suppose that when she was there for him, he was happy enough. When she needed someone to help her, he didn't have it in him.

I think that we see things in people that they don't have. Or maybe we think they are one way that they are not.

 

[ClemKadiddlehopper]

Thanks Phideaux

I spent the first 19 years of my life being stabbed with nail files, shot at, held down to be force fed alchohol and even had my foot nailed to the floor with an 8" spike. I simply have no working compass when it comes to the human race. This site has been my only window. It is because people here are nice to one another. I guess it let's me pretend for while.

I will be going back into the hills for the duration. No more real life people. Me and a dog. I couldn't take another round.

 

[phideaux]

Thanks Phideaux

I spent the first 19 years of my life being stabbed with nail files, shot at, held down to be force fed alchohol and even had my foot nailed to the floor with an 8" spike. I simply have no working compass when it comes to the human race. This site has been my only window. It is because people here are nice to one another. I guess it let's me pretend for while.

I will be going back into the hills for the duration. No more real life people. Me and a dog. I couldn't take another round.

I can tell you that our hearts here ache for you, and wish we could be there to hug you.

You deserve better.

Praying for you now.

Please let us at least share our feelings with you.

Stay in touch.

Jim

 

[Meerkat]

Thanks Phideaux

I spent the first 19 years of my life being stabbed with nail files, shot at, held down to be force fed alchohol and even had my foot nailed to the floor with an 8" spike. I simply have no working compass when it comes to the human race. This site has been my only window. It is because people here are nice to one another. I guess it let's me pretend for while.

I will be going back into the hills for the duration. No more real life people. Me and a dog. I couldn't take another round.

Klem I'm sorry you have had such a bad time at it,ans yes this site and the ones most of us came from are blessed with good people and we do care about each other,and you to.
If people care about those close to them they usually care about all people. I hope you stay here with us.

I also think its time to make some changes in your life but then we don't know the hwole story but still no woman should have ot lift 100 lb.s or be insulted all the time.
Bad eye site, heavy lifting problems is not a good candidate for the wild though. Maybe find a community " check it out real good first " you can go to. Or leave long enough to show him your done with that BS.But most don't change so hope you find solution soon.

 

[ClemKadiddlehopper]

Thanks Meerkat,

My eye sight isn't that bad I just need reading glasses like most people, I cannot see the fly on the wall at 1000 feet anymore, so no competing with Jed Clampet or Jethro. For some reason that has become a problem. I can see that fly at about 200 feet now.

I can outwork an Amish horse, still drag a hundred lbs around all day but I am too out of shape to pick it up and throw it. Some time in a gym would fix that, but it is too far away. have good bones, a strong back, a strong ticker and no BP. i hardly ever get sick; zero medical problems. Hubby is the one who has all those issues and I am the whipping boy. I told him no more insultsS and yelling at me. Then came the divorce thing. I have a feeling the real estate agent didn't just show up out of the blue. That's fine. He can have whatever he wants. I won't get in the way.

Back country life isn't difficult. It is peaceful and it will be restful. I won't needing a helicopter or anything.

 

[backlash]

Nobody should be treated the way you were. Get a good lawyer and make sure the lawyer knows all the history and take that worthless husband for everything you can. He deserves it.
My BIL's wife(the shrew) said told him she wanted a divorce. He moved out got a lawyer the next day and she had papers in a week. She was shocked at how fast he moved on that. His lawyer said they would sell everything and split all assets 50 50. He took half of everything and forced her to sell a couple of houses and that caused her worthless druggie son to have to move in with her.
Good luck and take care of yourself.

 

[Weedygarden]

Thanks Meerkat,

My eye sight isn't that bad I just need reading glasses like most people, I cannot see the fly on the wall at 1000 feet anymore, so no competing with Jed Clampet or Jethro. For some reason that has become a problem. I can see that fly at about 200 feet now.

I can outwork an Amish horse, still drag a hundred lbs around all day but I am too out of shape to pick it up and throw it. Some time in a gym would fix that, but it is too far away. have good bones, a strong back, a strong ticker and no BP. i hardly ever get sick; zero medical problems. Hubby is the one who has all those issues and I am the whipping boy. I told him no more insultsS and yelling at me. Then came the divorce thing. I have a feeling the real estate agent didn't just show up out of the blue. That's fine. He can have whatever he wants. I won't get in the way.

Back country life isn't difficult. It is peaceful and it will be restful. I won't needing a helicopter or anything.

My heart hurts for you. Your husband is a jerk and a bully and likely a narcissist.
I can imagine that there is a lot of emotion now. You have been putting up with his abuse for too long. I want to suggest that you do not just hand over everything you have helped to acquire, because it is easier to do so. In the long run, you will have financial struggles. It happens too often, that the bully ends up with whatever he or she wants, because they are used to always getting their way or making the other person miserable until they do. There may be a struggle, and you might be over it, but get a good lawyer and have him/her do the fighting for what is rightfully yours. I am not suggesting that you get more than your share, but that may be his plan, to get everything.

My cousin's husband had probably been cheating on her their whole marriage according to her siblings recounting of things that happened. How she found out, I don't know, but her siblings all knew he was a jerk and have stories about him. Her parents gave them the down payment for a new house and when the divorce came, he fought tooth and nail to get the house. Cousin had two sisters both dying of cancer at the same time while the divorce was going on, and one was her confidant, her source of counsel and comfort. Her sisters died within 36 hours of each other, and that didn't help her ability to fight for her rights. Because her parents contributed 20% of the value of the house, she should have had more rights to it. Finally cousin gave in, like she had their whole relationship, and ended up having a new house built for herself. The most gratifying thing that I see is that she is using her maiden name again. She is younger than me and a sweet woman who put up with stuff she shouldn't have far too long.