Jokes and Humor

[Peanut]

 

[Peanut]

 

[Haertig]

View attachment 121831

Yeah, but your red-dot sights suck. On the plus side, it's not so necessary to buy a high-end expensive one since they all look like the dot is defective. It's kind of like you're using Halley's Comet as your aiming device.

 

[Magus]

You can feel the Love!

View attachment 121827

And inside?
Gym socks that are too small. and an out-of-date subway voucher.

 

[Magus]

Yeah, but your red-dot sights suck. On the plus side, it's not so necessary to buy a high-end expensive one since they all look like the dot is defective. It's kind of like you're using Halley's Comet as your aiming device.

I think the card should read "A Stigmatism?" Maybe not? even the damn spell checkers are fighting over it.

You should try a dot on a shotgun, your bird/bunny bag will fill up so fast you'll have time to hit the bar and brag.

 

[dademoss]

 

[Lenny]

A woman was driving through a remote part of Arizona when her car broke down. A native American on horseback came along and offered her a ride to a nearby town.
She climbed up behind him on the horse and they rode off. The ride was uneventful, except that every few minutes the Native American would let out a Ye-e-e-e-h-a-a-a-a! so loud that it echoed from the surrounding hills and canyon walls.
When they arrived in town, he let her off at the local service station, yelled one final 'Ye-e-e-e-h-a-a-a-a!' and rode off.
"What did you do to get to get him so excited?" asked the service-station attendant. "Nothing," the woman answered "I merely sat behind him on the horse, put my arms around his waist, and held onto the saddle horn so I wouldn't fall off."
"Lady," the attendant said, "Native Americans don't use saddles.

 

[Magus]

A cat sings stairway.

They never have forgotten they were gods.

 

[jazzy]

 

[jazzy]

 

[Sparky_D]

 

[Lenny]

 

[Curmudgeon]

 

[Lenny]

 

[jazzy]

 

[jazzy]

 

[Peanut]

Reminds me… the first time I worked in LA, turned on the news one night. An idiot had robbed a bank and gave the teller a note written on his power bill. It happened several times while I lived there. Don’t these idiots ever watch the news? Or at least compare notes in jail? Duh!!!


Don’t write the stickup note on a personal document should be taught in ‘Hold Up 101’. Especially paper with your address on it!!! Sadly, a prison education isn’t what it used to be.

 

[joel]

My Kimpo DI told us a story where a man broken in a woman's house & was on top of her when she woke up.
She reached down & grab his "assault Weapon", causing a great deal of pain.
He tried to get away & got more pain, he begged for his freedom.
She remembered that she had gun in night stand, released him to go get the gun.
He ran for his life, she could not see him on the dark road.
Then called the police, they where filling out her statement, when she pointed out the mans clothes in the floor.
The policeman could not believe the man had his name & address written in his underwear.
They sent him to jail.

 

[kd4ulw]

 

[Woody]

 

[Morgan101]

Reminds me… the first time I worked in LA, turned on the news one night. An idiot had robbed a bank and gave the teller a note written on his power bill.

Reminds me of the guy who was in a Police line up. The voice came over the speaker and said "Number 4 step forward and say "Hands up. This is a stick up.'". Number 1 steps forward and says "That's not what I said."

 

[Magus]

They're criminals for a reason.

 

[Woody]

35 seconds until the punch line...

https://media.gab.com/system/media_attachments/files/155/539/060/playable/d410c4aaa8636422.mp4

 

[zoomzoom]

 

[Woody]

 

[Woody]

 

[Woody]

 

[Woody]

 

[Woody]

 

[Woody]