Jokes and Humor

[Lenny]

True story, stationed at mare island ca once. Put new brake shoes on my truck during lunch one day. A buddy helped but had no time for a real test drive, thought they were adjusted close. That afternoon I picked up my girlfriend and took her to lake tahoe to meet friends at a hotel. As soon as I left base I knew the right rear brake shoes were badly adjusted, grabbed way to soon. Not a problem for me but…

When I got to the hotel it was valet only parking. The guy drives off in my truck, goes up a ramp out of sight… then I hear this long squealing sound. Next day when I checked out of the hotel the valet guys made me go get my own truck!!! They wouldn’t drive it again!!!

What did you do in Mare Island? I was there for about six months going to electronics school for the Navy. FTG --- Fire-control Technician, Guns.

 

[zoomzoom]

 

[jazzy]

"Play It Faster!"​

 

[Peanut]

What did you do in Mare Island? I was there for about six months going to electronics school for the Navy. FTG --- Fire-control Technician, Guns.

Same command... I was FTM, missiles. I was there about 8 months. A good command while i was there, best chow hall in the navy.

I'm sure you visited the 'Horse and Cow'? I think that was the name, so long ago. It was a sailors bar in vallejo.

 

[Neb]

Same command... I was FTM, missiles. I was there about 8 months. A good command while i was there, best chow hall in the navy.

I'm sure you visited the 'Horse and Cow'? I think that was the name, so long ago. It was a sailors bar in vallejo.

I was a FTM trained at Glakes and Dam Neck.

Ben

 

[Peanut]

What did you do in Mare Island? I was there for about six months going to electronics school for the Navy. FTG --- Fire-control Technician, Guns.

I was a FTM trained at Glakes and Dam Neck.

Ben

Both of you served before me. While i was in the ratings FTG and FTM were combined with the new name FC. I went in as a prospective ftm but was discharged as an FC when my enlistment was up. I think I'd been in 2 yrs it was changed, served 6. I remember it was early on when the change was made.

 

[dademoss]

 

[Neb]

Both of you served before me. While i was in the ratings FTG and FTM were combined with the new name FC. I went in as a prospective ftm but was discharged as an FC when my enlistment was up. I think I'd been in 2 yrs it was changed, served 6. I remember it was early on when the change was made.

I didn't know that.

I have told the story previously but it my wife's favorite.

Near the end of boot camp we got our assignments. I sat down across a grey steel desk from a guy reviewing my records. He asked
" So what do you want to do Ben?"

I said

" I want to be a SEAL."

He smiled and said;

" That is nice Ben but you can do math. You are going to fix computers."

So I became an FTM

Ben

 

[angie_nrs]

This might not be totally funny, but it did put a smile on my face. I love the innocense of children. Humanity has much to learn from them.

 

[Lenny]

Same command... I was FTM, missiles. I was there about 8 months. A good command while i was there, best chow hall in the navy.

I'm sure you visited the 'Horse and Cow'? I think that was the name, so long ago. It was a sailors bar in vallejo.

I don't remember that bar. I didn't do much in Vallejo. I'd stay on base and go to San Francisco on weekends.

Did you work on Tarter, Talos or Terrier missiles?

 

[Lenny]

This might not be totally funny, but it did put a smile on my face. I love the innocense of children. Humanity has much to learn from them.
View attachment 154051

That's great! They realize that there is ONE race and is the HUMAN race. Then they grow up and get indoctrinated by the news medias.

 

[Neb]

That's great! They realize that there is ONE race and is the HUMAN race. Then they grow up and get indoctrinated by the news medias.

Amen to that!

I was raised an air force brat. Never learned the race thing.

Ben

 

[Peanut]

I don't remember that bar. I didn't do much in Vallejo. I'd stay on base and go to San Francisco on weekends.

Did you work on Tarter, Talos or Terrier missiles?

I'm familiar with Talos but not the other 2. All 3 had been phased out before I got to the fleet.

I didn't know that.

I have told the story previously but it my wife's favorite.

Near the end of boot camp we got our assignments. I sat down across a grey steel desk from a guy reviewing my records. He asked
" So what do you want to do Ben?"

I said

" I want to be a SEAL."

He smiled and said;

" That is nice Ben but you can do math. You are going to fix computers."

So I became an FTM

Ben

funny… At the recruiting station I took a written test with the other prospective recruits. Except afterwards the recruiters didn’t want to talk to me like the other guys. I thought I’d screwed up royally! Instead they wanted me to come back the next day to take a much longer test (even more math). After that test they wanted me to study nuclear propulsion. They lobbied me hard but I didn’t want anything to do with nuclear power. The 3-mile island accident hadn’t been that long ago and there was a 98% chance I’d be stationed on a submarine. Part of the reason I went to the military was because I didn’t want to work in a coal mine. Coal mine, submarine, same same. When I absolutely refused they offered me missile systems. Then put me on a delayed entry program. I waited 9 months before going to boot camp. It was to sync up the timing for openings in the missile schools.

No regrets, happy with the excellent training I got and proud to have served. It was the spring board for everything that followed.

------------------------

 

[angie_nrs]

 

[jazzy]

 

[jazzy]

 

[jazzy]

 

[Neb]

. I waited 9 months before going to boot camp. It was to sync up the timing for openings in the missile schools.

No regrets, happy with the excellent training I got, the spring board for everything that followed.

------------------------

View attachment 154064

Ditto that.

Ben

 

[jazzy]

 

[angie_nrs]

 

[angie_nrs]

 

[Caribou]

Damn GPS.

 

[Haertig]

Damn GPS.

View attachment 154097

That looks like a jeep road we drove up near Marble, Colorado. We were driving a Chevy Blazer (basically a full size pickup) that fit about as well as the truck in this picture. When we could go no further, we left our truck and jumped into our friends Land Rover (back in those days this was a smaller vehicle) in front of us and made it maybe another 50 yards before he got boxed in too. So we left his vehicle and walked the rest of the way up the road to see what was up there. Who builds a road like this in the first place?! I'll tell you, backing our way out of there was really scary. We were hyperventilating the whole way until we got back to the wider section. It wasn't that much wider but at least we were off the cliff part.

We should have known at the beginning, where we had to cross that small rickety rotten wood bridge. We had to fold the Blazer's mirrors in so they wouldn't get sheared off by the sides of the bridge. There was a big 'ol sign too, "Warning, 3000 lb weight limit!" My wife was driving and I remember opening the door to check that metal plate that tells you specifics about your vehicle. She asked how much we weighed. I said, "you don't want to know" (realizing that she was going across no matter what the Blazer weighed).

We were young and stupid then. We're not that anymore. Now we're old and stupid.

 

[zoomzoom]

 

[zoomzoom]

 

[zoomzoom]

 

[montanabill]

 

[d_marsh]

 

[d_marsh]

 

[d_marsh]