Jokes and Humor

[Cnsper]

 

[Bubba2001]

WELCOME TO THE SOUTH FACTS:

1. A possum is a flat animal that sleeps in the middle of the road.

2. There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 of them live in the South.

3. There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 of them live in the South, plus a couple no one's seen before.

4. If it grows, it'll stick ya. If it crawls, it'll bite cha.

5. "Onced" and "Twiced" are words.

6. "Jawl-P?" means, Did you all go to the bathroom?

7. People actually grow, eat and like okra and collards.

8. "Fixinto" is one word. It means "I'm going to do that".

9. There is no such thing as lunch. There is only dinner and then there's supper.

10. Iced tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you're two. We do like a little tea with our sugar. It is referred to as the Wine of the South.

11. "Backwards and forwards" means I know everything about you.

12. The word "jeet" is actually a question meaning, 'Did you eat?'

13. You don't have to wear a watch, because it doesn't matter what time it is, you work until you're done or it's too dark to see.

14. You don't PUSH buttons, you MASH em.

15. "Ya'll" is mostly singular. "All ya'll" is always plural.

16. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect, or animal.

17. You carry jumper cables in your car - for your OWN car.

18. You only own five spices: salt, pepper, mustard, tabasco and ketchup.

19. The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but require 6 pages for local high school sports, the motor sports, and gossip.

20. Everyone you meet is a: Darlin', Honey, Sugar, Baby, or Miss (first name) or Mr. (first name).

21. You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.

22. You know what a hissy fit is..

23. Fried catfish is the other white meat.

24. We don't need no Driver's Ed. If our Mama says we can drive, we can drive!!!

25. NEVER dispute or say anything bad about Mama!

I agree with most of them

 

[backlash]

View attachment 1735

I saw the same thing at Crater Lake Oregon.

 

[phideaux]

Jim

 

[Sentry18]

 

[Cnsper]

 

[Cnsper]

 

[Sentry18]

 

[phideaux]

Jim

 

[CrackbottomLouis]

 

[Sentry18]

 

[SavageGuy]

 

[GrannyG]

 

[phideaux]

:snowman:

:snowman:

Kinda catchy...huh?


Jim

 

[phideaux]

Heres what happens after 51 years of being married....to the same woman....




Jim

 

[Geezer]

 

[Terri9630]

You found Tiggers cousin!

 

[Sentry18]

 

[Reggaemylitis]

The new Barack Obama currency. Issued by the Treasury to commemorate all of his economic accomplishments while in office.

Those who don't work, don't pay taxes and are not citizens can stop by their local welfare office and pick up as much of it as they feel they are entitled to.

 

[Sentry18]

And now a visual representation of the modern millennial.

 

[Curmudgeon]

The new Barack Obama currency. Issued by the Treasury to commemorate all of his economic accomplishments while in office.

View attachment 3885

Those who don't work, don't pay taxes and are not citizens can stop by their local welfare office and pick up as much of it as they feel they are entitled to.

Stole it! LOL

 

[Cnsper]

Wreck your motorcycle, how can things get worse?

 

[phideaux]

Jim

 

[phideaux]

That may be Peter C,

Jim

 

[Sentry18]

 

[Supervisor42]

Well Mardi Gras is just around the corner.
I still love this one years later:

 

[Geezer]

 

[Geezer]

 

[Sentry18]

 

[buildit]

Makes sense to me. LOL