Jokes and Humor

Cnsper · Jan 20, 2020

Bacpacker said:
Have yourself a CLEAR path to leave the area when cutting trees. Bet that guy hurt for a while.

They are probably still in his throat

Bacpacker · Jan 20, 2020

Thats what I was thinking!

Caribou · Jan 20, 2020

I was around 12 at the time. My father was coroner and had to charter a plane out to a logging operation where a man was in the wrong spot. He took me along on the flight. This guy is lucky, he got to survive his stupidity. If you are too lazy to clear a couple of safe exits then you will get hurt. One can only hope he learned.

Sentry18 · Jan 20, 2020

ADVICE FOR ANYONE MOVING TO IOWA, THE DAKOTAS, WYOMING, OR MONTANA

1. Save all bacon grease. You will be instructed later how to use it.
2. If you do run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in a four wheel drive with a 12-pack of beer and a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them. Just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.
3. Remember: We say please and thank you a lot. Men also nod their heads at everyone they walk by and women smile. We are just nice like that.
4. Get used to the phrase "It's not the heat, it's the humidity". And the collateral phrase "You call this hot? Wait'll August."
5. Don't tell us how you did it somewhere else. Nobody cares.
6. If you think it's too hot in the Summers, don't worry. It'll cool down-in December
7. A Mercedes-Benz is not a status symbol, a Tractor, a Chevy, Dodge, or Ford is.
8. If someone says they're "fixin" to do something, that doesn't mean anything's broken.
9. Every 30 miles or so you will find a Dollar General, Casey's or a Subway.
10. If you see a slower moving vehicle on a two lane road pull onto the shoulder that is called "courtesy", if you dont understand this, reconsider moving to a rude state.
11. Grilling is a necessity..No matter the weather.. someone is outside grilling something.
12. Sporting events must be taken into consideration for weddings, funerals, and divorces. Don't plan ANYTHING on game days.
13. Everything is better with Ranch dressing or ketchup .
14. DO NOT honk your horn at us to be obnoxious, we will sit there until we die.
15. We pull over and stop for emergency vehicles to pass.
16. We pull over for funeral processions, turn our music off and men remove hats or caps. Some people put their hand over their heart.
17. If you don't like the weather here, wait 15 minutes, it will change.
18. Picking bales or hauling hay is a rite of passage.
19. The index finger wave from the steering wheel to everyone you pass on a country road.
20. You'll often hear the people here complaining vigorously about the obnoxious weather that just came through. Don't bother asking them "If you hate it that much, then why don't you move?" They'll just look surprised when they hear your question and say "Because we like it here!"

Cnsper · Jan 20, 2020

Sentry18 said:
ADVICE FOR ANYONE MOVING TO IOWA, THE DAKOTAS, WYOMING, OR MONTANA

1. Save all bacon grease. You will be instructed later how to use it.
2. If you do run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in a four wheel drive with a 12-pack of beer and a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them. Just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.
3. Remember: We say please and thank you a lot. Men also nod their heads at everyone they walk by and women smile. We are just nice like that.
4. Get used to the phrase "It's not the heat, it's the humidity". And the collateral phrase "You call this hot? Wait'll August."
5. Don't tell us how you did it somewhere else. Nobody cares.
6. If you think it's too hot in the Summers, don't worry. It'll cool down-in December
7. A Mercedes-Benz is not a status symbol, a Tractor, a Chevy, Dodge, or Ford is.
8. If someone says they're "fixin" to do something, that doesn't mean anything's broken.
9. Every 30 miles or so you will find a Dollar General, Casey's or a Subway.
10. If you see a slower moving vehicle on a two lane road pull onto the shoulder that is called "courtesy", if you dont understand this, reconsider moving to a rude state.
11. Grilling is a necessity..No matter the weather.. someone is outside grilling something.
12. Sporting events must be taken into consideration for weddings, funerals, and divorces. Don't plan ANYTHING on game days.
13. Everything is better with Ranch dressing or ketchup .
14. DO NOT honk your horn at us to be obnoxious, we will sit there until we die.
15. We pull over and stop for emergency vehicles to pass.
16. We pull over for funeral processions, turn our music off and men remove hats or caps. Some people put their hand over their heart.
17. If you don't like the weather here, wait 15 minutes, it will change.
18. Picking bales or hauling hay is a rite of passage.
19. The index finger wave from the steering wheel to everyone you pass on a country road.
20. You'll often hear the people here complaining vigorously about the obnoxious weather that just came through. Don't bother asking them "If you hate it that much, then why don't you move?" They'll just look surprised when they hear your question and say "Because we like it here!"

How true this is