- Joined
- Dec 8, 2017
- Messages
- 60
Jokes and Humor
- Thread starter phideaux
- Start date
Help Support Homesteading & Country Living Forum:
Jim
As a child, I always had a fear of someone under the bed at night. So I went to a shrink and told him: I've got problems. Every time I go to bed I think there’s somebody under it. I'm scared. I think I'm going crazy.”
“Just put yourself in my hands for one year,” said the shrink….. “Come talk to me three times a week and we should be able to get rid of those fears.”
“How much do you charge?” I asked.
“One hundred fifty dollars per visit,” replied the doctor.
“I'll sleep on it,” I said.
Six months later the doctor met me on the street. “Why didn't you come to see me about those fears you were having?” he asked.
“Well, $150 a visit, three times a week for a year, is $23,400.00. A bartender cured me for $10.00. I was so happy to have saved all that money that I went and bought a new pickup truck.”
“Is that so?” and with a bit of an attitude he said, “and how, may I ask, did a bartender cure you"
“He told me to cut the legs off the bed. Ain’t nobody under there now.”
I guess it’s always better to get a second opinion.
“Just put yourself in my hands for one year,” said the shrink….. “Come talk to me three times a week and we should be able to get rid of those fears.”
“How much do you charge?” I asked.
“One hundred fifty dollars per visit,” replied the doctor.
“I'll sleep on it,” I said.
Six months later the doctor met me on the street. “Why didn't you come to see me about those fears you were having?” he asked.
“Well, $150 a visit, three times a week for a year, is $23,400.00. A bartender cured me for $10.00. I was so happy to have saved all that money that I went and bought a new pickup truck.”
“Is that so?” and with a bit of an attitude he said, “and how, may I ask, did a bartender cure you"
“He told me to cut the legs off the bed. Ain’t nobody under there now.”
I guess it’s always better to get a second opinion.
They also get used for Taxi Cabs here. Couple of Illegals thought they were "Hailing A Cab", after knocking on my door after dark. I call 911. County sent 2 units. They got a Big Surprise. So did the Deputies, there were 17 of them hiding near my house. INS came with lots of Trucks and people. I talked to the Deputies after. It was Hilarious.
I was once driving an unmarked Crown Vic with a partner on our way back from using a CI to buy some dope. We stopped at a red light and suddenly the back door opens up and two guys climb in. The first guy tells me where to go and so I shrug my shoulders, said all right and started driving. The second guy then asks where they can buy some drugs. My partner said he had some and as as they exchange dope for cash in the car I drove down the alley to a substation and into the garage. My partner had keyed his radio mic so the whole unit heard what was going on. By the time the two guys knew was was happening they had been ripped out of the back seat and were laying face down on concrete. Prosecutor was not happy to have to use the same evidence in 2 different cases.
- Joined
- Nov 28, 2017
- Messages
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I think that's an excellent use of all resources!
Jim
- Joined
- Jan 10, 2018
- Messages
- 65
Important self defense video
LMBO
