Jokes and Humor

[LadyLocust]

View attachment 55974

I was just thinking about how nice it was to go to a store without a phone or take a road trip and say I’ll call when I get there.

 

[Mr.Meer]

 

[Mr.Meer]

I was just thinking about how nice it was to go to a store without a phone or take a road trip and say I’ll call when I get there.

Yep, things have surely changed since we were young.

 

[Supervisor42]

I was just thinking about how nice it was to go to a store without a phone or take a road trip and say I’ll call when I get there.

I still do both to this day.
It is still possible.

You just have to learn to wear the title "AH" with pride .

 

[LadyLocust]

I still do both to this day.
It is still possible.View attachment 55987
You just have to learn to wear the title "AH" with pride .

I actually do at times but it’s Hubby who gets upset with me if he can’t get ahold of me . I like being disconnected.

 

[Amish Heart]

I don't use a phone much, and I have a ten yr old flip phone. No data. I don't like bringing it along either. I turn it off at night because mom calls me to chat and doesn't see that it's 2 am.

Hey Supervisor, wearing an AH title? Thanks alot. I'm Amish Heart AH.

 

[Supervisor42]

I actually do at times but it’s Hubby who gets upset with me if he can’t get ahold of me . I like being disconnected.

It's that word "free" in freedom.
Anybody that thought they were connected to my umbilical cord have discovered that it was 'disconnected' at birth.
I like to be disconnected too.
I carry communication devices that are ready if I need them.
So, have you updated your 'expiring vehicle warranty' yet?
I am now down to the 'second, and final warning calls'

 

[Supervisor42]

Hey Supervisor, wearing an AH title? Thanks alot. I'm Amish Heart AH.

Wear yours with pride. You kill defenseless animals, doncha?
Me too!! Welcome to the club!!!
When they need us, nobody else will do.

 

[joel]

View attachment 55985

If he is very very lucky!

 

[joel]

DW made me buy a smart phone, it is used for $100.00, I have had it for about 4 years.

 

[Cnsper]

It's that word "free" in freedom.
Anybody that thought they were connected to my umbilical cord have discovered that it was 'disconnected' at birth.
I like to be disconnected too.
I carry communication devices that are ready if I need them.
So, have you updated your 'expiring vehicle warranty' yet?
I am now down to the 'second, and final warning calls'View attachment 55988

Interestingly enough they would not tell me which vehicle it was for and they flat refused to extend the warranty on a 1979 Chevy 3/4 ton 4x4.

I have not purchased a vehicle with a warranty since 1987. First and only time

 

[GrannyG]

 

[zoomzoom]

 

[Peanut]

 

[Peanut]

I told you "Never Lock Your Knees" at parade rest! This is what happens if you do...

 

[Peanut]

 

[backlash]

View attachment 56015

That song actually played on my radio last week. I have a bunch of music on a thumb drive and most of it is old country or old rock.

 

[Peanut]

I had to look it up, found this at a medical website giving reason to "not" lock your knees while standing.

3. Locking your knees can impede the flow of blood to your brain. Soldiers sometimes pass out after standing for a long period of time. Many experience fainting after remaining with their knees locked during inspections and standing at attention; they’ll fall down face first without even knowing what hit them.

I've seen several guys pass out from locking their knees while standing at attention or parade rest for long periods but never knew exactly why it happens.

Another write up I found said that "locking your knees restricts blood returning from the lower legs to the heart. This leaves less blood to pump to the brain. Once the blood pressure drops in the brain some people literally pass out."

I saw it happen at least 7 or 8 times while in boot camp, 2 or 3 times after that, so I know it happens. Some guy is standing and the next moment he's kissing the pavement. After 20 or 30 minutes standing at attention/parade rest causes this to happen.

I've gotten woozy before so learned to flex my knees slightly. This prevents passing out.

 

[Quantum]

 

[Quantum]

 

[Quantum]

 

[LadyLocust]

View attachment 56015

I can't stand that song - thaaaaanks! now it's going to be stuck in my head.

 

[Peanut]

I saw the guy perform once at the state convention for the Jr. Cattlemen's Assoc. Of course he sang that song. I had raised some nice beef calves that year and got invited. Also, Hoss and Pa from "Bonanza" were there, met them. Jeez... that was a long time ago.

 

[backlash]

I had to look it up, found this at a medical website giving reason to "not" lock your knees while standing.

3. Locking your knees can impede the flow of blood to your brain. Soldiers sometimes pass out after standing for a long period of time. Many experience fainting after remaining with their knees locked during inspections and standing at attention; they’ll fall down face first without even knowing what hit them.

I've seen several guys pass out from locking their knees while standing at attention or parade rest for long periods but never knew exactly why it happens.

Another write up I found said that "locking your knees restricts blood returning from the lower legs to the heart. This leaves less blood to pump to the brain. Once the blood pressure drops in the brain some people literally pass out."

I saw it happen at least 7 or 8 times while in boot camp, 2 or 3 times after that, so I know it happens. Some guy is standing and the next moment he's kissing the pavement. After 20 or 30 minutes standing at attention/parade rest causes this to happen.

I've gotten woozy before so learned to flex my knees slightly. This prevents passing out.

We had a big change of command ceremony held on the flight deck while we were in port at Subic Bay, Philipines. Dress whites, 90° I saw several guys hit the deck face first. The guy beside me said you need to catch me and help me to the shop. He started falling and me and another guy caught him and helped him to our shop. We sat in the AC and drank sodas for over an hour before the rest of the guy showed up. Our Chief knew what happened but there wasn't much he could do.

 

[Haertig]

At any given moment:

FACT: 79,000,000 people are having sex - right now.
FACT: 58,000,000 are kissing.
FACT: 37,000,000 are relaxing after having sex.
FACT: 1 old person is reading forum posts.

 

[kd4ulw]

 

[dademoss]

 

[LadyLocust]

I saw the guy perform once at the state convention for the Jr. Cattlemen's Assoc. Of course he sang that song. I had raised some nice beef calves that year and got invited. Also, Hoss and Pa from "Bonanza" were there, met them. Jeez... that was a long time ago.

My grandparents (if I'm remembering correctly) had Hoss over for supper. They worked in Mammoth Lakes and he was there skiing. Said he was a nice guy.

 

[joel]

Hoss...... Dan Blocker??

 

[Peanut]

We had a big change of command ceremony held on the flight deck while we were in port at Subic Bay, Philipines. Dress whites, 90° I saw several guys hit the deck face first.

Great Lakes Naval Training Command - We got a new Admiral, had a big ceremony. He reviewed his sailors.

My company was in the front row. The admiral comes down the line inspecting each man. I was 3rd from the end, company yeoman (clerk). The Assistant Company Commander was 2nd to last, Billy, my best friend who I ran around with. Billy's last command was the USS New Jersey, battle ship. They had done a year long, around the world, goodwill tour. In Thailand, Billy had bought a handmade silk sailors dress tie. It looked like a standard issue tie except up close, and it felt different being silk. It was a beautiful tie!

The admiral inspects me, the side steps in front of Billy. He noticed the silk tie, he felt of it then said "Sailor, where did you get that tie?"

Billy says, with his slow Texas drawl... "Thai-land S-i-r!"

I could hear people snickering 5 rows back... OMG it was funny! I was about to choke trying not to laugh out loud! I was literally holding my breath and turning red faced.

The Admiral never cracked a smile. He side stepped again and inspected my Senior Chief, was was also turning red faced.

God that was so funny, we laughed for weeks about it... Billy didn't lie, he told the truth, he got his tie in Thailand. Almost everyone in our training command knew about the tie, Billy was proud of the tie and told many people about it.