Jokes and Humor

[Peanut]

 

[SoJer]

^ LMAO!!! Just gold.. OK, here's a good one:

jd

 

[Peanut]

Barking dog… Today I took water to the chickens. I split the water between 2 buckets, easy to carry.

I emptied one bucket into the waterer then set it outside the coop. Next I finished filling the waterer and then filled the feeder. The pup was barking like crazy. I could see he was barking at the bucket outside the coop. I ignored him and gathered the eggs.

When I stepped out of the coop I finally realized what the dog was barking at. Evidently a hen had jumped up on the rim of the empty bucket. It flipped over trapping her underneath. The bucket was slowly making its way across the chicken pen. It’d move a couple inches at the time, seemingly by itself. The poor dog was losing his mind… I watched for a bit. This was funny, wish I’d had a camera.

 

[SoJer]

^ Haha! Great.. Our own 'version' of that was, one time, decades ago, living in Upstate New Yuck, our dog (Shep/Pit mix, named 'Indy' / Indiana Jones was barking his brains out at 'something' in the basement...

..So, armed, I went down to investigate.. Turned out it was a squirrel, that I still have No idea how it got down there - could Not have just 'slipped in the door' (I'm sure the dog would have never 'let that happen'...) and wasn't a 'cracked basement window' (all windows in the basement were Glass block, so.. <shrug>) Anyway, I see this unmistakable tail-tip sticking out from behind a duct, and that confirmed it... But now - how in the world to 'trap it'?

Didn't want to just 'shoot it' - a) in the Basement and b) even with just a 'BB gun', any miss would likely not be good due to 'ricochet risk'.. Plus, he was Firmly ensconced above the ductwork - no 'clean shot', at all.. So, I thought, 'Hmm... maybe a baited trap'..

..However, didn't really want to go 'all out' and go buy a proper wire-trap, so I 'MacGuyvered it' Triple-layered 3 of those plastic handled Grocery-store bags, and put a bunch of pecans, almonds, and walnuts we had on hand in the bottom, and 'strung it' between two nails off the joists, adjacent to the duct he was hiding above... But, bent One nail, so IF he 'took the bait' / entered the bag, one side would 'slip off' (while the other held), but with his Weight in there, it would (more or less) 'close'... And it worked.

So, little while later sure enough, heard the bag 'rustling', and quickly swooped in, and grabbed the bag off the hanger-nail, loose-closed the handles, and ran up / outside, as quickly as I could, and got it well out into the middle of the backyard, to 'release'...

..Set it down, arms-length, and carefully undid the loose knot of the handles, and ran back (expecting any second now, this 'furious whirling dervish' was going to spring from the bag and claw half my face off ...But it just sat there... and sat there... and sat there..

Just about the time the Wife and I were thinking 'Oh, man.. he must have died of fright, aaaah, that sucks....' THE BAG(S) STARTED 'BOUNDING' ACROSS THE LAWN, like a ghost in a burlap-sack race!! After about 4-5 'bounds', he finally made it out, and I never saw a squirrel run so fast, Lolol!

Betcha anything when he got back to the nest - all the 'talk around the campfire' that night was nothing but that 'Terrible House of Horrors!'

jd

 

[phideaux]

Jim

 

[phideaux]

Jim

 

[SheepDog]

She knows where you work and sleep... be worried, VERY WORRIED!

 

[Neb]

^ Haha! Great.. Our own 'version' of that was, one time, decades ago, living in Upstate New Yuck, our dog (Shep/Pit mix, named 'Indy' / Indiana Jones was barking his brains out at 'something' in the basement...

..So, armed, I went down to investigate.. Turned out it was a squirrel, that I still have No idea how it got down there - could Not have just 'slipped in the door' (I'm sure the dog would have never 'let that happen'...) and wasn't a 'cracked basement window' (all windows in the basement were Glass block, so.. <shrug>) Anyway, I see this unmistakable tail-tip sticking out from behind a duct, and that confirmed it... But now - how in the world to 'trap it'?

Didn't want to just 'shoot it' - a) in the Basement and b) even with just a 'BB gun', any miss would likely not be good due to 'ricochet risk'.. Plus, he was Firmly ensconced above the ductwork - no 'clean shot', at all.. So, I thought, 'Hmm... maybe a baited trap'..

..However, didn't really want to go 'all out' and go buy a proper wire-trap, so I 'MacGuyvered it' Triple-layered 3 of those plastic handled Grocery-store bags, and put a bunch of pecans, almonds, and walnuts we had on hand in the bottom, and 'strung it' between two nails off the joists, adjacent to the duct he was hiding above... But, bent One nail, so IF he 'took the bait' / entered the bag, one side would 'slip off' (while the other held), but with his Weight in there, it would (more or less) 'close'... And it worked.

So, little while later sure enough, heard the bag 'rustling', and quickly swooped in, and grabbed the bag off the hanger-nail, loose-closed the handles, and ran up / outside, as quickly as I could, and got it well out into the middle of the backyard, to 'release'...

..Set it down, arms-length, and carefully undid the loose knot of the handles, and ran back (expecting any second now, this 'furious whirling dervish' was going to spring from the bag and claw half my face off ...But it just sat there... and sat there... and sat there..

Just about the time the Wife and I were thinking 'Oh, man.. he must have died of fright, aaaah, that sucks....' THE BAG(S) STARTED 'BOUNDING' ACROSS THE LAWN, like a ghost in a burlap-sack race!! After about 4-5 'bounds', he finally made it out, and I never saw a squirrel run so fast, Lolol!

Betcha anything when he got back to the nest - all the 'talk around the campfire' that night was nothing but that 'Terrible House of Horrors!'

jd

Thanks for telling that story. The only thing missing was suspenseful music.

I am intrigued by the bag trap. Can you tell us more

Ben

 

[phideaux]

Oops..

Jim

 

[Neb]

Oops..
View attachment 60007

Jim

That is exactly why I spend the time of mocking up in cardboard air conditioning ducts. NASA crashed a rover into Mars because the entry team and the landing team mixed up meters and feet.

Details.

Be

 

[SoJer]

..I am intrigued by the bag trap. Can you tell us more

Sure.. Sorry, no 'pix' on this one, but.. It Happened...

So, imagine like an '8D' nail (heavy duty framing) bent to almost a 90° angle, as a 'hook'.. We had many of those nailed to the inside of several floor / ceiling joists in the basement (ya know, for 'hangin stuff' - wet boots / ice skates / fishing-nets, etc..) so, one side was 'up', like a hook, and the other side, I just 'turned down', so it was like a 'knee'..

Well, one side of the bag(s) went on the 'hook', and one on the 'knee' - just enough to 'catch' that side's handle-loops.. Theory was, that if / when he shimmied down into the bag, at some point, he might 'fall in', and thus, the 'tug' from his weight would pull the one side off the knee, but the hook side would hold.. And it Did. In fact, it 'spun' a bit, so just as I'd hoped, the bag twisted a bit, and ended up somewhat 'closed', so he wouldn't so quickly jump out / escape...

..as it turned out, I guess he must have 'paniced' once in there, and was maybe 'playing dead' or was just frozen in fear, cause he was dead-silent until he initiated his 'Geronimo Run' there in the yard..

Squirrels are a Riot.. Ever seen this from 'Mark Rober'? Genius guy, and this was both Hilarious.. and 'good .edu'.. Well worth the 20 mins, imo..

Lolol..

jd

 

[dademoss]

 

[zoomzoom]

 

[dademoss]

 

[phideaux]

Jim

 

[phideaux]

Jim

 

[zoomzoom]

 

[zoomzoom]

 

[Peanut]

 

[Peanut]

 

[Peanut]

 

[Peanut]

 

[phideaux]

Jim

 

[zoomzoom]

 

[zoomzoom]

 

[zoomzoom]

 

[dademoss]

 

[phideaux]

Jim

 

[Haertig]

 

[dademoss]

Please never mention organic chemistry again