Jokes and Humor

[dancer4life]

 

[threetango]

 

[threetango]

 

[threetango]

 

[threetango]

 

[threetango]

 

[SHOOTER13]

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[Weedygarden]

 

[GrannyG]

 

[jimLE]

A CHRISTMAS TALE FROM THE COMING SOCIALIST UTOPIA

DECEMBER 14, 2018| BY DONN MARTEN

It Snowed Last Night..

8:00 am: I made a snowman.

8:10 – A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn’t make a snow woman.

8:15 – So, I made a snow woman.

8:17 – My feminist neighbor complained about the snow woman’s chest saying it objectified snow women everywhere.

8:20 – The gay couple living nearby threw a hissy fit and moaned it could have been two snow men instead.

8:22 – The transgenderman..women…person asked why I didn’t just make one snow person with detachable parts.

8:25 – The vegans at the end of the lane complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and not to decorate snow figures with.

8:28 – I was being called a racist because the snow couple is white.

8:30 – I used food coloring to make one of the snow couple a different color and be more racially inclusive.

8:37 – Accused of using blackface on the snowman…snowpersons.

8:39 – The middle eastern gent across the road demanded the snow woman be covered up .

8:40 – The police arrived saying someone had been offended.

8:42 – The feminist neighborcomplained again that thebroomstick of the snow woman needed to be removed because it depicted women in a domestic role.

8:43 – The council equality officer arrived and threatened me with eviction.

8:45 – TV news crew from ABC showed up. I was asked if I know the difference between snowmen and snow-women? I replied “Snowballs” and am now called a sexist.

9:00 – I was on the news as a suspected terrorist, racist, homophobe, and sensibility offender, bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather.

9:10 – I was asked if I have any accomplices. My children were taken by social services.

9:29 – Far left protesters offended by everything marched down the street demanding for me to be arrested.

9:45 – The boss called and fired me because of the negative association with work that had been all over social media.

10:00 – I cry into my drink because all I wanted to do was build a snowman… Moral: There is no moral to this story. It is what this world has become because of a bunch of snowflakes….

As heard on the Michael Savage show aka “The Savage Nation” on Tuesday.

 

[threetango]

 

[SHOOTER13]

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[threetango]

 

[Weedygarden]

When NASA started sending astronauts into space they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat this problem Congress approved a program and NASA scientists spent a decade and over $165 million developing a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, on almost any surface and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to over 300 C.

The Russians used a pencil . . .

Your taxes are due again in April.

 

[Curmudgeon]

 

[SHOOTER13]

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[SHOOTER13]

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[angie_nrs]

When NASA started sending astronauts into space they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat this problem Congress approved a program and NASA scientists spent a decade and over $165 million developing a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, on almost any surface and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to over 300 C.

The Russians used a pencil . . .

Your taxes are due again in April.

Hey Weedy - you're posting in the humor and jokes thread. And that post right there is NOT FUNNY!

Ha - we need to have an "our government is stupid" thread......I bet it'd be a lot longer than this one!

 

[Weedygarden]

Hey Weedy - you're posting in the humor and jokes thread. And that post right there is NOT FUNNY!

Ha - we need to have an "our government is stupid" thread......I bet it'd be a lot longer than this one!

You are right! It would be one of the longest threads here!

 

[Sparky_D]

One of the few Ven Diagrams that actually made me LOL...

 

[threetango]

 

[threetango]

Squirrel Hunter

 

[Amish Heart]

And for the mamas out there, there needs to be a bubble for Moms seeing a little one choking. She can say, "Raise your wings!"

 

[GrannyG]

 

[Flight]

Can you find me?

 

[Curmudgeon]

 

[Curmudgeon]

 

[threetango]

 

[threetango]

 

[SHOOTER13]

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