Jokes and Humor

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[The Lazy L]

"Humor and Jokes" Every time I read this title I want to post a picture of Obama and Hillary...

 

[Caribou]

"Humor and Jokes" Every time I read this title I want to post a picture of Obama and Hillary...

Wouldn't that be better placed in the nightmares and lies forum?

 

[Flight]

 

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[Patchouli]

I must be old.
We heard if school was closed on the AM radio station.

 

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[Amish Heart]

Do you know how many times I impale myself on the hitch on the back of our pickup?

 

[Bacpacker]

Do you know how many times I impale myself on the hitch on the back of our pickup?

I have numerous scars on my shins from that...and tractor drawbars.

 

[Terri9630]

The guy on the end forgot to back in......

 

[Cnsper]

I have numerous scars on my shins from that...and tractor drawbars.

Only took once for me to learn to go another half step around. Or if the tailgate is down you are safe

 

[Woody]

The guy on the end forgot to back in......

It should have a hitch on the front also. Ya never know.

 

[GrannyG]

 

[Amish Heart]

Ha ha.
Chicken pot pie.

 

[hossthehermit]

 

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[The Innkeeper]

I must be old.
We heard if school was closed on the AM radio station.

Schools closing? It only happened once... -40, we walked to school to find out that the furnace had died so they closed the school so we walked back home.

 

[backlash]

Schools closing? It only happened once... -40, we walked to school to find out that the furnace had died so they closed the school so we walked back home.

Was it uphill both ways?

 

[The Innkeeper]

Was it uphill both ways?

No but my son can say it was. We lived halfway up a long hilly street. The school bus stop in the morning was at the top of the hill so he had to walk up, the afternoon drop was at the bottom so he had to walk up.

I seriously had never heard of a snow day as a kid

 

[joel]

We never had snow day.
The worst snow strom we had, happen over Christmas break & the road were clear when we went back to school.

 

[Caribou]

My biological father was a judge. We lived in a town that got between 150" to 200" of rain per year. On the first sunny day of spring he would hold arraignments then call a sun day and shut down the court.

In my last home the schools shut down when the wind chill hit -50℉. I think that happened once or twice in the 25 years I was there. I've seen the kids playing in the overflow of the water on the frozen river.

 

[JAC]

Husband: My wife is missing! She went fishing yesterday and has not come home...

Sergeant at Police Station:
What is her height?

Husband:
Gee, I'm not sure, 5-1/2 feet tall maybe.

Sergeant:
Weight?

Husband:
I have no earthly idea.

Sergeant:
Color of eyes?

Husband:
Sort of brown, but not positive.

Sergeant:
Color of hair?

Husband:
Changes a couple times a year. Maybe brown now, maybe some highlights.

Sergeant:
What was she wearing?

Husband:
Could have been a t-shirt and shorts, or maybe those yoga pants things, not really sure.

Sergeant:
Did she go fishing in a boat?

Husband:
Yes.

Sergeant:
What kind of boat was it?

Husband:
A 2016 Phoenix 721 Pro XP with a 2016 Mercury 250 ProXS. 2 brand new 10' Power Pole Anchors, GoPro setup and mounts, Phoenix travel cover, TH Marine deck lights and LED strips in rod box and tackle compartments. 12" Atlas Hydraulic jackplate, Hotfoot, and TH G-Force trolling motor handle on the Minn Kota 112lb Fortrex, 4 bank Minn Kota charger. Odyssey Cranking battery and 3 New Interstate batteries, Lowrance HDS9 Gen2 at console, HDS9 Gen3 at bow w/spotlight scan, Loc-R-Bar, and Blinker Pro Trim. 64 hours on the motor and warranty good through 2021.

Sergeant:
Don't worry buddy. We'll find your Boat. <><

 

[Patchouli]

I'd have gone missing too