Jokes and Humor

[Haertig]

Had a friend that always rebuilt his Harley engine in his living room every winter.

He had to rebuild the engine every year? Are Harley engines British made?

 

[jazzy]

 

[jazzy]

 

[Pearl]

Had a friend that always rebuilt his Harley engine in his living room every winter.

I've rebuilt many Chevy carburetors on our coffee table....side money!

 

[jazzy]

ok--which one of you is this

 

[Ozarks hillbilly]

ok--which one of you is this


View attachment 167060

Taco Bell should be on alert….the loses in the courtroom could be staggering

 

[jazzy]

 

[ClemKadiddlehopper]

The res kids eat constant crap at the res gas bar as the main stay of their diet. The stench on my bus is horrific. My bus windows stay open year round rain, snow or shine. The little kids complain about the windows peeing on them, but it beats barfing and asphyxiation from bad air.

 

[d_marsh]

 

[SoulSeeker]

I used to have an 8-71 I made into a footstool! It was locked up so I figured what the heck! This one looks like a 6-71.

View attachment 166981

 

[d_marsh]

 

[d_marsh]

 

[d_marsh]

 

[d_marsh]

 

[SoulSeeker]

A college kid was on his way back to campus after spring vacation. He decided to take a shortcut through the country. Longer than he thought he started getting very hungry a thinking he might be lost pulled into the next driveway he saw. On the porch was an old woman in a rocking chair. He used the pleasantries "don't mean to bother you but....". She said no bother at all! nice to have company! Noticing she was blind he decided to stay and talk a while, nice to get out of the car a bit anyway. After a while he saw a bowl of peanuts and since she was blind and he felt starving he ate a couple. Bland with no salt he figured the ole' gal was watching her salt intake. He ate more and trying to stop, he couldn't with his hunger pushing him on and ate the whole bowl! He told her what he did being very apologetic and she said "don't worry, I don't eat the peanuts. I just suck the chocolate off them".

 

[Magpie]

 

[angie_nrs]

 

[LadyLocust]

View attachment 166537

We actually are: we didn’t change our clocks. We changed our work hours: asked our employees and they all agreed.

 

[Pearl]

We actually are: we didn’t change our clocks. We changed our work hours: asked our employees and they all agreed.

I always say, if they take away 'summer time', everyone will adjust to MY schedule! I'll play along temporarily, as long as they don't make it permanent!!

 

[LadyLocust]

I always say, if they take away 'summer time', everyone will adjust to MY schedule! I'll play along temporarily, as long as they don't make it permanent!!

This is standard time. But we are only on it for 4 months so decided to take the stand and not change the clocks.

 

[jazzy]

 

[zoomzoom]

 

[zoomzoom]

 

[d_marsh]

 

[Magpie]

 

[zoomzoom]

View attachment 167184

Um... Yea.
It's called a hospital visit. Thanks for the $100K to pay my medical bills.

 

[Haertig]

It's called a hospital visit. Thanks for the $100K to pay my medical bills.

$100k wouldn't come anywhere near close to paying for a week in a hospital.

 

[montanabill]

 

[Haertig]

https://kdvr.com/news/mattel-apologizes-after-porn-site-mistakenly-printed-on-wicked-doll-box/

INDIANAPOLIS (WXIN) — Mattel has apologized after the web address of a porn site was mistakenly printed on the packaging of its newly released “Wicked” dolls, saying it “deeply” regrets the error.

“Mattel was made aware of a misprint on the packaging of the Mattel Wicked collection dolls, primarily sold in the US, which intended to direct consumers to the official WickedMovie.com landing page,” the toy manufacturer said in a statement sent to Nexstar on Monday.

I'm sure some of the kids were disappointed. But probably not all of the parents were...

 

[dademoss]