Jokes and Humor

[Mad Dog 1]

Related to car seatbelt alarms, newer cars are becoming the worst. New Subaru's never stop dinging.
Many new vehicles interpret items sitting on seats (e.g. groceries) as an occupant and will give you the dings. If it's in the backseat, they may give you a warning to check your back seat when you shut the vehicle off.
They sell seatbelt extenders that just clip into the existing belts which then turns off the alarm. These are also handy for belt clasps that are too far recessed and some people have a hard time buckling in.

Here's a 2-pack for under $10.
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0C1TB5CG8

View attachment 167313

Wait till the cars reports you via Wi-Fi for using them , does not start until you put in the proper belt , in fact leave it in if the seat is empty , can stick a 50 kg bag of sand on the seat as your passenger

 

[Lenny]

 

[Lenny]

Chant this:

Everybody is doing it, doing it.
Picking their nose and chewing it, chewing it.
Little kids think it's bubblegum, but it's snot.

 

[Lenny]

 

[jazzy]

 

[Bluetick21]

I Agree but when You go shopping and get too much on any seat, go by a Junkyard with a Knife and get a end that fits...

Now that’s an idea!

 

[dademoss]

 

[dademoss]

 

[angie_nrs]

 

[angie_nrs]

 

[jazzy]

funny star trek commercial fromloooong time back

THE BEST STAR TREK COMMERCIAL EVER​

 

[angie_nrs]

 

[angie_nrs]

 

[SoulSeeker]

The newlywed couple finally got to the honeymoon suite. He took off his pants and tossed them to his new bride saying wear these. She said I can't! He said that's right, you remember that! She waited for him to come out of the bathroom and tossed him her panties saying get into these! He said I can't. She told him that's right and if you don't change your attitude you never will!

 

[jazzy]

 

[INresponse]

Wear your seatbelt, save your life.

I know that is the saying, and in some cases reality, but in many states it is legal to drive a motorcycle without a helmet, or leathers, or biker boots, or gloves. I can ride my ATV's anywhere and everywhere (except the 100+ year old dirt roads they blocked off to save the environment) without a helmet.
Does the government really care or is it insurance companies and lawyers that mandate seatbelt use?

18 years as a cop and I never dealt with a fatal accident where the deceased was not wearing a seatbelt. I have dealt with a few fatal accidents where the seatbelt held the person in the seat that was completely crushed. There is no way of knowing for sure but if they were not strapped into the seat that was crushed they might have been pushed to the open area in the middle and had less injuries. I am NOT saying they wont help save a life but I have doubts about the hype.

Is it just me or is this "wireless" seatbelt about the size to pop the top on a beer bottle? I love my 2 old vehicles with the bottle opener seatbelt.

 

[dademoss]

I know that is the saying, and in some cases reality, but in many states it is legal to drive a motorcycle without a helmet, or leathers, or biker boots, or gloves. I can ride my ATV's anywhere and everywhere (except the 100+ year old dirt roads they blocked off to save the environment) without a helmet.
Does the government really care or is it insurance companies and lawyers that mandate seatbelt use?

18 years as a cop and I never dealt with a fatal accident where the deceased was not wearing a seatbelt. I have dealt with a few fatal accidents where the seatbelt held the person in the seat that was completely crushed. There is no way of knowing for sure but if they were not strapped into the seat that was crushed they might have been pushed to the open area in the middle and had less injuries. I am NOT saying they wont help save a life but I have doubts about the hype.

Is it just me or is this "wireless" seatbelt about the size to pop the top on a beer bottle? I love my 2 old vehicles with the bottle opener seatbelt.

View attachment 167483

I wear ATGATT. Friend of mine was killed last month cause he hit a ******* squirrel.
YMMV.