Jokes and Humor
- Thread starter phideaux
- Start date
Help Support Homesteading & Country Living Forum:
This lawsuit will be good one to follow.
The first amendment (freedom of speech) covers everything... but ends when you tell lies to denigrate someone.
- Joined
- Oct 2, 2021
- Messages
- 1,462
1- I know a guy who's addicted to drinking brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.
2- A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
3- When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U.C.L.A.
4- I got some batteries that were given out free of charge.
5- A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.
6- A will is a dead giveaway.
7- With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
8- Police were summoned to a day-care centre where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
9- A bicycle can't stand alone; it's just two tired.
10- The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine last week is now fully recovered.
11- He had a photographic memory, but it was never fully developed.
12- When she saw her first strands of grey hair, she thought she'd dye.
13- Acupuncture is a jab well done. That's the point of it.
14- I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
15- Did you hear about the crossed-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?
16- When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
17- When chemists die, they barium.
18- I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.
19- I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.
2- A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
3- When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U.C.L.A.
4- I got some batteries that were given out free of charge.
5- A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.
6- A will is a dead giveaway.
7- With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
8- Police were summoned to a day-care centre where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
9- A bicycle can't stand alone; it's just two tired.
10- The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine last week is now fully recovered.
11- He had a photographic memory, but it was never fully developed.
12- When she saw her first strands of grey hair, she thought she'd dye.
13- Acupuncture is a jab well done. That's the point of it.
14- I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
15- Did you hear about the crossed-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?
16- When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
17- When chemists die, they barium.
18- I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.
19- I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.
- Joined
- Dec 10, 2017
- Messages
- 12,754
- Amateur Radio Call Sign
- KD8UTA
I was a newly licensed driver that year. Driving my friends to McDonalds in my new (to me) car - a 1956 Chevy. You could cram a lot of friends into that car. A whole lot. We'd hit McDonalds and you'd think a bus had pulled into the parking lot. McDonalds appreciated us.
- Joined
- Dec 10, 2017
- Messages
- 12,754
- Amateur Radio Call Sign
- KD8UTA
- Joined
- Dec 8, 2017
- Messages
- 11,979
The Boss of the Block!
Do you still have that 1956 Chevy.
...So, how long did it take you to discover what that long back seat was for?
Anyone know what a medical specimen, is?
You mean "Build Back Broke".
Gas doubled.
Most Fast Food Combos jumped to $9.
Eggs and butter jumped to $5 and above.
Milk doubled.
Interest rates nearly doubled.
Homeowner's Insurance nearly doubled.
If you want to know Trump prices in 2019 - - just cut the Build Back Broke prices in half.
