Jokes and Humor

[INresponse]

Sorry for the threadjack.. I created a new thread for al the side talk on payment options.
https://www.homesteadingforum.org/threads/best-payment-system-to-use.16809/

 

[joel]

Kroger fuel points, got 0.70 cents off gas this week, $2.50 gallon.

 

[Haertig]

That last two new cars The Princess bought were purchased with GM cards

Salesman: "For only $10,000 down, we'll give you a 7 year loan with monthly payments of only $1500. That's quite a deal! I can get you into that today! How's that sound to ya, big guy?"

Astute Customer: "Nah ... just put it on my Visa card."

Salesman:

 

[Supervisor42]

I have used paypal, it works for me, I have a checking account just for paypal, that I transfer monies into & then used paypal.
That way if you hack paypal or my computer, you may get a hand full of money, but not all my money. I know I am weird, but what else can a retired person do.

Off topic. Buying/paying-for something with PayPal is great .
Selling something and hoping to get "paid" by paypal is a whole different ballgame. You have to read their fine print about how long they can hold/'float' your money before you can actually 'get it'.
I sold stuff on eBay and accepted payment thru paypal.
Buyer showed the payment had cleared on his CC account, but on my end, it said "pending" for weeks.
I couldn't ship until I could pull the funds out of reach of paypal's "clawback" range.

Now back to jokes!!
What's the worst time to have a dental appointment?

"Tooth-hurtey"

 

[angie_nrs]

 

[angie_nrs]

 

[angie_nrs]

 

[angie_nrs]

 

[angie_nrs]

 

[angie_nrs]

 

[Peanut]

 

[Peanut]

 

[Peanut]

 

[jazzy]

 

[Peanut]

Said the guy holding the camera while I invoked the 3 second rule.

 

[Haertig]

View attachment 93837

That picture looks like a commercial kitchen. The bacon probably made it out to the buffet anyway.

 

[Pearl]

View attachment 93837

Afraid I'd have to eat it!!

 

[Bacpacker]

Afraid I'd have to eat it!!

No doubt in my mind

 

[Magus]

The hunter Biden song. SFW, no cussing.

 

[Sparky_D]

 

[Sparky_D]

 

[Woody]

 

[Haertig]

Wouldn't the Subject Line of this email solicitation be better written as "Be ready for death with AAA Life Insurance Company"?

 

[LadyLocust]

 

[joel]

The blessing of being retired.

View attachment 93870

 

[Neb]

The blessing of being retired.

Ditto that!

I have adapted a quote I heard when scheduling deliveries, meetings, or calls..

Don't expect me to be up before the crack of noon.

Ben

 

[Neb]

Don't know where to share but I thought it was funny.

Background:
The Princess shares the title to the house my sister in law lives in. Somehow I get the phone solicitations to purchase the property.

So today I get a call

Caller: Are you interested in selling XXX ?
Me: No not selling it.
Caller : What if we made you a very good offer?
Me: My sister in law lives in that house. If we sold it she would have to move in with us. How much would you have to offer to make me want to do that ?

Caller: ... silence... click.



It was fun.


Ben

 

[joel]

I paid my house off early & get calls all the time.
I tell them one million dollars & thirty days to move.
The house in perfect condition is not worth half of that.

 

[kd4ulw]

 

[Magus]

NSFW. I think he's channeling the spirit of Gunny... "F" bombs galore, funny as hell!