Put that with "Coyote ugly".... When you would rather chew off your own arm instead of waking her up!
qoute for tha day
- Thread starter jimLE
- Start date
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Laughter is a lot like changing a dirty diaper. It dosent fix anything permanently, but makes it better for a while.
Easier
==========
The unfortunate thing about this world is that the good habits
are much easier to give up than the bad ones.
~W. Somerset Maugham~
The good habits are also harder to form. But it is our habits
that greatly influence our results in life.
==========
The unfortunate thing about this world is that the good habits
are much easier to give up than the bad ones.
~W. Somerset Maugham~
The good habits are also harder to form. But it is our habits
that greatly influence our results in life.
Whatever you are at this moment, be the best at it.
There is no success in a career that can make up for a failure in the family.
Buy a man a fish and he will eat for a day ....teach a man to fish and he will never work again.
I love it! I've got to go fishing!
Peace, through superior firepower.
Today is the beginning of the rest of your life.
I like the old forty!
Mid life crisis time
Noooooo! I went to go fishing at my favorite spot, about a mile behind my house thru the woods. They just graveled the old fire access trail to it, and are clearing and leveling. It looks like a development is going in. This was a 10 acre pristine pond, with beavers, loads of one to two lb bass and bluegill, and no man made anything in sight. And they call this progress?
It gets harder and harder to live life the way we used to. I don't know if its just that many more people or just more and more greed.
Nup more and more TAXES to fund ever more and more people with a sense of ENTITLEMENT instead of a work ethic.
The dollar is going down in value, no doubt. I got into prepping because I didn't like the state of the economy, and prefer to depend on myself than our system. I agree that greed is the down side to capitalism. Too many companies put profit above all else. Sure I understand a company needs to make money, but wall street has changed the dynamics to where that's all most CEO'S care about now. I think they forgot about the people who help make those profits along the way, and pride in a product or service. I think we are all in for a rough time ahead. I just hope our preperations now help make it easier.
Well I wanted to say something profound for my three thousandth post here. I think I just want say that I am greatfull
that I was able to start this day with a good breakfast, in the comfort and safety of my own home, with my dog by my side. (Patiently and quietly begging to lick the plate 
).
).
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- Sep 7, 2013
- Messages
- 18,535
Amen brotherWell I wanted to say something profound for my three thousandth post here. I think I just want say that I am greatfull that I was able to start this day with a good breakfast, in the comfort and safety of my own home, with my dog by my side. (Patiently and quietly begging to lick the plate
The Vanishing American
==================================
Some years ago, during the depression, a government agent
traveled through the Tennessee Mountains making small allotments
to impoverished farmers for seed, stock or needed improvements.
He found one woman who lived alone, scratching out a bare living
on two acres of barren ground. “If the government should allot
you $200, what would you do with it?” he asked her.
The woman thought a moment. Her cabin had no floor, its windows
were covered with tar paper, light came through the broken walls.
Finally, she looked up and said, “Reckon I’d give it to the poor.”
==================================
Some years ago, during the depression, a government agent
traveled through the Tennessee Mountains making small allotments
to impoverished farmers for seed, stock or needed improvements.
He found one woman who lived alone, scratching out a bare living
on two acres of barren ground. “If the government should allot
you $200, what would you do with it?” he asked her.
The woman thought a moment. Her cabin had no floor, its windows
were covered with tar paper, light came through the broken walls.
Finally, she looked up and said, “Reckon I’d give it to the poor.”
A man and his 10-year-old son were hiking the back trails.
The boy stopped to inspect a medium-sized boulder at the side of
the trail.
"Dad, do you think I can move that rock?"
The man eyeballed the rock and said, "Yes son, if you use all
your strength, you can move that rock."
The boy braced against the rock and pushed and strained with all
his might...the rock didn't budge.
"Well Dad, you were wrong, I can't move that rock."
"No son, I wasn't wrong, I said that if you used all your
strength you could move that rock.
But you didn't use all your strength
...because you didn't ask me for help."
~Author Unknown~
The boy stopped to inspect a medium-sized boulder at the side of
the trail.
"Dad, do you think I can move that rock?"
The man eyeballed the rock and said, "Yes son, if you use all
your strength, you can move that rock."
The boy braced against the rock and pushed and strained with all
his might...the rock didn't budge.
"Well Dad, you were wrong, I can't move that rock."
"No son, I wasn't wrong, I said that if you used all your
strength you could move that rock.
But you didn't use all your strength
...because you didn't ask me for help."
~Author Unknown~
It's A Long Night
=======================
Today is the winter solstice, the shortest day of the year.
The winter solstice usually occurs on December 21st or 22nd.
Worldwide, daylight is the shortest and darkness is the longest of
any day of the year. Even though this is the shortest day of the
year, there are many who will get more done today than others will
get done on the summer solstice, the longest day of the year.
It's not the length of the day that matters.
It's not the length of the night that matters.
It's the strength of the person and purpose in the day or night
that matters.
When you wake in the morning, remember each day forward you will
have more day and less night. What you do with it is up to you.
=======================
Today is the winter solstice, the shortest day of the year.
The winter solstice usually occurs on December 21st or 22nd.
Worldwide, daylight is the shortest and darkness is the longest of
any day of the year. Even though this is the shortest day of the
year, there are many who will get more done today than others will
get done on the summer solstice, the longest day of the year.
It's not the length of the day that matters.
It's not the length of the night that matters.
It's the strength of the person and purpose in the day or night
that matters.
When you wake in the morning, remember each day forward you will
have more day and less night. What you do with it is up to you.
First came the commemorative coins,
then the T-shirts, and then the plates.
Now, something for the rest of us...
Use with Caution...it may irritate your butt!
then the T-shirts, and then the plates.
Now, something for the rest of us...
Use with Caution...it may irritate your butt!
AN ACTUAL 'CRAIG'S LIST PERSONALS' AD
To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last.
Date: 2009-05-27, 1 :43 a.m. E.S.T.
I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend, threatening our lives. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message.
First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment; I didn't expect you to actually crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket.. The even ing was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason.. My girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening.. Obviously you agree that it is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head ... isn't it?!
I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with that brown sludge in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse walking bare-footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. [That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again].
After I called your mother or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what you'd done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as those of four other people in the gas station, -- on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 150 gallons and was extremely grateful!
I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!]
I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at the curb .... after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's side of the car.
Later, I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone. Ma Bell just now shut down the line, although I only used the phone for a little over a day now, so what 's going on with that? Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible target.
The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number etc.).
;In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you ... but I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider, the career path you've chosen to pursue in life. Remember, next time you might not be so lucky.Have a good day!
Thoughtfully yours,
Alex
To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last.
Date: 2009-05-27, 1 :43 a.m. E.S.T.
I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend, threatening our lives. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message.
First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment; I didn't expect you to actually crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket.. The even ing was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason.. My girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening.. Obviously you agree that it is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head ... isn't it?!
I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with that brown sludge in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse walking bare-footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. [That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again].
After I called your mother or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what you'd done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as those of four other people in the gas station, -- on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 150 gallons and was extremely grateful!
I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!]
I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at the curb .... after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's side of the car.
Later, I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone. Ma Bell just now shut down the line, although I only used the phone for a little over a day now, so what 's going on with that? Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible target.
The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number etc.).
;In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you ... but I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider, the career path you've chosen to pursue in life. Remember, next time you might not be so lucky.Have a good day!
Thoughtfully yours,
Alex
I've read this before, but it made me smile just as much this time too!
Drinking with an Arizona Girl
A Mexican, an Arab,
and a Arizona girl are
in the same bar.
A Mexican, an Arab,
and a Arizona girl are
in the same bar.
When the Mexican
finishes his beer,
he throws his glass
in the air, pulls out
his pistol, and shoots
the glass to pieces.
He says, 'In Mexico ,
our glasses are so
cheap we don't need
to drink with the same one twice.'
The Arab, obviously
impressed by this,
drinks non-alcohol beer
(cuz he's a muslim!),
throws it into the
air, pulls out his
AK-47, and shoots
the glass to pieces.
He says, 'In the
Arab World, we have
so much sand to make
glasses that we don't
need to drink with
the same one twice either.'
The Arizona girl,
cool as a cucumber,
picks up her beer,
downs it in one gulp,
throws the glass into
the air, whips out her
45, and shoots the
Mexican and the Arab.
Catching her glass,
setting it on the bar, and calling for a refill,
she says,
'In Arizona ,
we have so many
illegal aliens that
we don't have to
drink with the same ones twice.'
God Bless Arizona
New Panties
A frustrated wife buys a pair of crotchless panties in an attempt to
Spice up her dead sex-life. She puts them on, together with a short
Skirt and sits on the sofa opposite her husband. At strategic moments
She uncrosses her legs ... Enough times that her husband finally asks,
"Are you wearing crotchless panties?"
"Y-e-s," she answers with a seductive smile.
"Thank God - I thought you were sitting on the cat."
He never heard the gunshot
A frustrated wife buys a pair of crotchless panties in an attempt to
Spice up her dead sex-life. She puts them on, together with a short
Skirt and sits on the sofa opposite her husband. At strategic moments
She uncrosses her legs ... Enough times that her husband finally asks,
"Are you wearing crotchless panties?"
"Y-e-s," she answers with a seductive smile.
"Thank God - I thought you were sitting on the cat."
He never heard the gunshot
I don't know where you come up with these, but keep em comming!
i have strange friends in strange places..LOL 
