Relationships and Marriage

[Tacitus]

No prenup for me. I just know that half is hers. Part of the deal, part of the plan. She stayed home with the kids, gave up a career for the family. She would deserve half of it.

Granted...I haven't had to go through a divorce, so easy for me to say.

 

[Dani]

As things have been progressing steadily with a new relationship after the death of my previous SO, I've been doing a lot of thinking. My previous relationship was drastically different than this one. While I know without a doubt that he loved me, he was very cutoff from his emotions and trust after a bad marriage in his younger years. With this new one, he is far more emotionally available and definitely wanting of the same things as me regarding marriage and family.

That said, I come a family of bad and failed marriages and relationships so I don't have any good examples to draw from. When I get married, I want it to be til death do us part, full of love and happiness. My question is for y'all who have/had strong long-lasting relationships/marriages, what do y'all think are the most critical aspects or traits that help y'all go the distance?

Been there and done that kind of Relationhip. . . Totally done with that. Others should be too!

 

[rice paddy daddy]

I wish you good luck.
My first marriage lasted 16 years until she couldn’t take anymore of my drunkenness and PTSD.
I had sobered and was getting treatment from the VA when I met Number Two.
We have been married 35 years this coming December.

I told her right up front, on our first date actually, of my past and my medical issues.
She married me anyway, and because she’s such a wonderful woman I treat her as a Queen.

In my daily prayers I thank God every day for bringing us together, and I ask Him to help me be the best husband I can be.

 

[Haertig]

My question is for y'all who have/had strong long-lasting relationships/marriages, what do y'all think are the most critical aspects or traits that help y'all go the distance?

Your question here could be (mis)construed to mean that you are unsure of your relationship and maybe looking for confirmation that you are heading down the right path this time.

If you are indeed unsure and I am not trying to read too deeply into your question here, I would say it's best to wait on marriage until you are sure. I am not trying to be negative or anything, I'm just trying to determine the true meaning of your question. My point is, follow your heart and trust yourself. No one knows better than you do. There is not a set of rules, aspects or traits that work for everyone.

 

[elkhound]

one thing about being younger and still wanting children etc...if the man is working and gets 401k or some type of retirement then he should do everything in his power to make sure matching funds are set aside for the stay at home wife thats just in her name so BOTH have some type retirements in addition to SS. that way if a split happens each can just keep their assets and part ways as far as that goes.

 

[Weedygarden]

On the flip side at meer mention of Lewis Carol I insist on her reciting "The Jabberwoki".

I never got what this is about.

 

[ABR]

Your question here could be (mis)construed to mean that you are unsure of your relationship and maybe looking for confirmation that you are heading down the right path this time.

If you are indeed unsure and I am not trying to read too deeply into your question here, I would say it's best to wait on marriage until you are sure. I am not trying to be negative or anything, I'm just trying to determine the true meaning of your question. My point is, follow your heart and trust yourself. No one knows better than you do. There is not a set of rules, aspects or traits that work for everyone.

It's not that I'm doubting the relationship, I truly believe that we're solid. However, most people think that at the start and some figure out after a time that they are not. We both come from divorced and blended families and we both want different for ourselves and future children.

I'm questioning more of how to keep a marriage functional and fulfilling through the ups and downs. So many people jump ship at the slightest inconvenience these days, I want to make sure that I have eyes wide open and a brain full to be able maintain a strong foundation in the midst of this hellish world and a society that seems to want to tear the nuclear family apart.

 

[Neb]

I never got what this is about.

Any times Lewis Carol or Alice in Wonderland comes up in conversation I announce to Those in ear shot that The Princess will now present the "The Jabberwocky" by Lewis Carol. She has it down great and presents it well. Focuses on her talents which are obvious.

Ben