Some people may know better, or may not, but what they may communicate is something that is not a suggestion for something that would work better. They are more narcissistic, think they know best, and that everyone else is beneath them, so what they are well rehearsed at is insults, put-downs. What is communicated is put downs to others. "I am the smartest person here" or "I know best", may not be the actual words used, but that is the idea and real usable suggestions are not communicated, just complaining and put downs. Combine that with a fatalistic and negative view of how no one else gets it, and pretty soon, you have a situation where who in the heck wants to be around THAT? NO ONE!
"No one else gets it" or "I am the victim in this" only works for a little bit. Then watch everyone walk away, or eventually the leaders will ban this, not because the person may know better (or not), but because of the attitude, the delivery, the belief that no one else knows anything. Anyone who has ever been banned from a group needs to look in the mirror and accept that the problem is you, not them and what could you have done differently? You may know better (or not), but you are not going to get that communicated with insults. Unable to own up to your mistake in any of it? That compounds the problem and perpetuates it.
I often heard colleagues complain in the teacher's lounge about this decision or that decision, or how things were handled, but in the midst of it, rarely was a suggestion offered. It is all counter-productive. It only serves the person who is delivering the message and maybe that is part of the point of it. Don't shoot the messenger? Then they need to say or do something positive and productive.
I knew someone who would make statements, like "Don't go that way." "Why not?" No positive response, just something like, "Because I said so." That only serves the person who is trying to give orders.
Narcissism is virtually an incurable psychological disorder, and there are plenty of narcissists out there. If a person cannot figure out how to be humble enough to consider that someone else may have valuable ideas, then it is a matter of time before no one wants to be around them. Rather than blanket statements, then when specific pieces are being addressed, address the points. Don't use a broad brush to try to wipe the positive ideas away. It serves everyone better, and THAT is what groups like this serve. Pontificating doesn't work.
Know any sex offenders? Anyone here a registered sex offender? A sex offender usually has narcissism. They feel entitled so they can take what they want, when and how they want it, with no consideration for others and spew insults like crazy. They completely lack empathy, a characteristic of narcissists. They are threatened by others who might show up better and are more accepted. And everything is about them, even when it isn't, in their view. And when it isn't they steer it to themselves and how they did this or that.
