Morning routine in the house of Thumper... aka, "If the cat can't sleep Nooobody sleeps!"
4:00 AM
CAT: Gentle tap, tap, timid "Maow," tap, tap.
ME: Opens one eye, to see a pair of cat ears silhouetted in the dark, with two big black eyes, 6" from my nose. "It's 4 AM, go to sleep."
CAT: Tap, tap, "Maow." (I'm hungry, feed me or I'll never stop.) Takes blanket in her teeth and starts pulling it off.
ME: Gets up, puts slippers on wrong feet. Stumbles into kitchen. "You HAVE food!" Puts a fresh scoop on the mountain. Thumper rubs against legs, trying to trip me in the dark, not understanding that breaking my neck is counter productive. I totter back to bed. (Thumper gets 4 scoops, about a cup, twice a day, she is far from starving, so don't listen to her lies.)
Three minutes later...
"OOF." Cat jumps from headboard onto stomach, then leaps onto "Mommy" eliciting a scream. Jumps to window sill.
CAT: "I'm wide awake, let's play Zoomies on the bed!" Oof, ugh, ouch!
30 seconds later, all curled up, snuggled next to Mommy and purring.
I lay wide awake until 5, when I give up, and creep out of bed without waking the cat.
I remember a time when I was the Master of my house...