Jokes and Humor

[Lenny]

Good one, zoomzoom!

 

[joel]

A farmer went into a local bar and ordered a glass of champagne. The woman sitting next to him at the counter said, “Well, how about that? I just ordered champagne, too!”

“What a coincidence,” the farmer responded. “This is a really special day for me, so I’m celebrating!” “Well, this is a really special day for me too, so I’m celebrating as well,” the woman replied.

“What a coincidence!” said the farmer.

As they clinked glasses in celebration the farmer asked, “What are you celebrating, mam?” “My husband and I have been trying to have a baby,” said the woman, “and my gynecologist has just confirmed that I’m pregnant!” “What a coincidence!” said the farmer. “I’m a chicken farmer and my hens were infertile all last year, but today they are all laying eggs!”

“Wow, that’s great!” said the woman. “So, how did your chickens suddenly become fertile?” ………… “I used a different cock”, said the farmer

The woman smiled, clinked his glass again and said, “What a coincidence!”

It is a good one, but any farmer knows that a chicken does not need a cock to lay eggs.

 

[Neb]

A farmer went into a local bar and ordered a glass of champagne. The woman sitting next to him at the counter said, “Well, how about that? I just ordered champagne, too!”

“What a coincidence,” the farmer responded. “This is a really special day for me, so I’m celebrating!” “Well, this is a really special day for me too, so I’m celebrating as well,” the woman replied.

“What a coincidence!” said the farmer.

As they clinked glasses in celebration the farmer asked, “What are you celebrating, mam?” “My husband and I have been trying to have a baby,” said the woman, “and my gynecologist has just confirmed that I’m pregnant!” “What a coincidence!” said the farmer. “I’m a chicken farmer and my hens were infertile all last year, but today they are all laying eggs!”

“Wow, that’s great!” said the woman. “So, how did your chickens suddenly become fertile?” ………… “I used a different cock”, said the farmer

The woman smiled, clinked his glass again and said, “What a coincidence!”

While a good joke sadly I can not use that joke in any formats I can imagine.

Ben

 

[jazzy]

im starting to think we need a thread for Getting Old Memes---this one is cool

 

[jazzy]

 

[Lenny]

View attachment 124601

Is that another one of them ol' Indian sayings you made up? LOL

 

[Peanut]

 

[Peanut]

 

[Peanut]

 

[Magpie]

 

[Bacpacker]

View attachment 124601

Good ole Mr. Mc Goo

 

[dademoss]

View attachment 124614

Be ok if you use these:

 

[jazzy]

Is that another one of them ol' Indian sayings you made up? LOL

naw, its an old granny saying lol

 

[Lenny]

View attachment 124616

Brilliant!

 

[dademoss]

 

[Caribou]

Texas Sheriff's Exam

A young Texan grew up wanting to be a lawman.
He grew up big, 6' 2", strong as a longhorn, and fast as a mustang. He could shoot a bottle cap tossed in the air at 40 paces.
When he finally came of age, he applied to where he had dreamed of working: the West Texas Sheriff's Department.
After a series of tests and interviews, the Chief Deputy finally called him into his office for the young man's final interview.
The Chief Deputy said, "You're a big strong kid and you can really shoot. So far, your qualifications all look good, but we have, what you might call, an "Attitude Suitability Test", that you must take before you can be accepted.
We don't let just anyone carry our badge, son."
Then, sliding a service pistol and a box of ammo across the desk, the Chief said, "Take this pistol and go out and shoot:
six illegal aliens, six lawyers, six meth dealers, six Muslim extremists, six Democrat Mayors, and a rabbit."
"Why the rabbit?" queried the applicant.
"You pass," said the Chief Deputy. "When can you start?"
I LOVE TEXAS

 

[Woody]

 

[dademoss]

 

[Lenny]

 

[Lenny]

 

[Lenny]

 

[Lenny]

 

[Lenny]

 

[Lenny]

 

[kd4ulw]

 

[jazzy]

 

[jazzy]

 

[dademoss]

 

[Haertig]

Fashion shows - How does the audience keep from laughing?

https://www.cnn.com/style/nyfw-fall-2024-highlights/index.html

 

[ClemKadiddlehopper]

It looks like some blind homeless people got turned loose in a thrift store after Halloween.