Jokes and Humor

[Sentry18]

.40 maybe, but 9mm is NOT better than .45.

(it had to be done)

You can remove that maybe, the 40 slow & weak is dead and the industry predicts they won't produce .40 versions of their guns in the next 3-5 years. Some already have stopped. The .45 is still alive and well, if you can afford to shoot it and want a low capacity firearm.

 

[threetango]

Play it white boy.

 

[buildit]

 

[bargeahead]

The Dog's Diary

dogster.com
8:00 am – Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am – A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am – A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am – Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm – Milk bones! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm – Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm – Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm – Dinner! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm – Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm – Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm – Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

The Cat's Diary

Tumblr
Day 983 of My Captivity

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a “good little hunter” I am.

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of “allergies.” I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released, and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously a moron. The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now…

 

[buildit]

 

[bargeahead]

The Dog's Diary

dogster.com
8:00 am – Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am – A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am – A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am – Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm – Milk bones! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm – Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm – Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm – Dinner! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm – Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm – Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm – Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

The Cat's Diary

Tumblr
Day 983 of My Captivity

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a “good little hunter” I am.

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of “allergies.” I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released, and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously a moron. The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now…

 

[Sentry18]

The Dog's Diary

dogster.com
8:00 am – Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am – A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am – A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am – Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm – Milk bones! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm – Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm – Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm – Dinner! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm – Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm – Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm – Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

The Cat's Diary

Tumblr
Day 983 of My Captivity

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a “good little hunter” I am.

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of “allergies.” I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released, and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously a moron. The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now…

That was hilarious!

 

[bkt]

The .45 is still alive and well, if you can afford to shoot it and want a low capacity firearm.

Please select one or more of the following:

1st. Reloading makes cost negligible, and besides, no price is too high for optimal personal security;
B. Shot placement matters more than rounds in the mag;
Finally, my 1911 can be used as an effective weapon even without ammo. Compare its heft to many Rubber-Maid 9mm eeny-weeny-itsy-bitsy-super-concealable, uh, "handguns". (Fingerguns?);
4. The bigger the hole, the bigger the leak.

(I hope you know I really don't give a darn about caliber. )

 

[SHOOTER13]

The Nuns said Geometry would come in handy some day...!!

 

[Sentry18]

1911? Do you keep track of rounds fired or just malfunctions and parts breakages?

 

[EasyCZ_tfa]

 

[bkt]

Meh, I have a rough idea about rounds. The count is 0 for ftf/fte and other malfunctions, and 0 for parts breakages. And I don't have to worry about this:

It's understandable how a dog could mistake it for a chew-toy.

 

[Sentry18]

 

[Sentry18]

 

[robin416]

View attachment 1512

I am so familiar with that area and it doesn't take an inch of snow to keep it looking that way. That's normal.

 

[BBQJoe]

Anyone here ever try to milk a cat?
Me neither.

I bet it's dangerous as hell.

 

[gumpy]

Anyone here ever try to milk a cat?
Me neither.

I bet it's dangerous as hell.

You have to milk one in a phone booth! It's the only place that works. Make sure you lock the door so it can't escape!

 

[Sentry18]

Meanwhile in Canada... Is this you @BugoutBob?

 

[Bubba2001]

My grandfather told me that he saw The Titanic, and that from the beginning he warned all the people that the boat would sink, but they ignored him, however they were warned again on several occassions, until they kicked him out the cinema.

 

[*Andi]

I have milked cows, goats and even a horse once but never a cat ...

 

[buildit]

My grandfather told me that he saw The Titanic, and that from the beginning he warned all the people that the boat would sink, but they ignored him, however they were warned again on several occassions, until they kicked him out the cinema.

 

[Fort]

The Dog's Diary

dogster.com
8:00 am – Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am – A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am – A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am – Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm – Milk bones! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm – Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm – Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm – Dinner! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm – Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm – Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm – Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

The Cat's Diary

Tumblr
Day 983 of My Captivity

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a “good little hunter” I am.

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of “allergies.” I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released, and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously a moron. The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now…

This is why I am a dog person.

 

[Cubbie_Blues]

 

[The Innkeeper]

Meanwhile in Canada... Is this you @BugoutBob?

View attachment 1538

. Nope. That is the rich cousins who have a pool.

 

[BBQJoe]

Meh, I have a rough idea about rounds. The count is 0 for ftf/fte and other malfunctions, and 0 for parts breakages. And I don't have to worry about this:

It's understandable how a dog could mistake it for a chew-toy.

That'll buff out!

 

[Sentry18]

 

[Sentry18]

 

[buildit]

 

[Cubbie_Blues]

 

[Sentry18]