Jokes and Humor

[Sentry18]

 

[GrannyG]

 

[threetango]

 

[threetango]

 

[threetango]

 

[Morgan101]

A magician has a gig in Branson, and he is running late. He is flying down the highway when he gets pulled over by the Highway Patrol. He explains to the officer why he was speeding.

The officer says " I love magic and juggling. Can you juggle? " They guy says " Yeah, I can juggle, but my stuff is already in Branson."

The officer gets road flares out of his car, and gives them to the guy who starts to juggle. The officer says " Let's make it interesting." and he lights the flares.

The guy is still juggling the lit flares when another car pulls up behind them. The driver gets out; watches them for a minute; then climbs into the back seat of the Police car.

The Highway Patrol officer asks him " What are you doing?"

The guy replies " If that is the sobriety test I have to take, you can just take me to jail now."

 

[Morgan101]

During his physical, the doctor asked the patient about his daily activity level.


He described a typical day this way:

Well, yesterday afternoon, I waded along the edge of a lake, drank eight beers,

escaped from wild dogs in the heavy brush, jumped away from an aggressive rattlesnake,

marched up and down several rocky hills, stood in a patch of poison ivy,

crawled out of quicksand and took four leaks behind big trees.


Inspired by the story, the doctor said, You must be one hell of an outdoorsman!


NAH, he replied, I'm just a crappy golfer.

 

[Sentry18]

 

[Sentry18]

 

[Sparky_D]

 

[Sparky_D]

 

[threetango]

 

[threetango]

Redneck Taco

 

[threetango]

 

[Sentry18]

 

[Sentry18]

 

[WVDragonlady]

 

[Sentry18]

 

[Sentry18]

 

[Sentry18]

 

[phideaux]

Jim

 

[phideaux]

Jim

 

[phideaux]

Jim

 

[threetango]

 

[threetango]

 

[threetango]

 

[backlash]

View attachment 31888

That's when I knew I had drank way too many beers and it was time to go home.

 

[Sentry18]

 

[Sentry18]

 

[Sparky_D]