Jokes and Humor

[phideaux]

They musta been rich..a cover?

Jim

 

[backlash]

Yea but look at that cracked board. That would leave a mark for sure.

 

[phideaux]

Jim

 

[phideaux]

Jim

 

[phideaux]

Jim

 

[hossthehermit]

 

[phideaux]

You can't fix stupid..

Jim

 

[Cascadian]

To be fair I never played with my toys high on crack.

 

[Cascadian]

I came up with this last night for no apparent reason.

Yesterday a fella with a funny little beanie said I was antisimetrical.
I thought well what hell does that have to do with anything.
Nobody's perfect.

 

[Meerkat]

They musta been rich..a cover?
View attachment 41691
Jim

Ours was very modern , all three seats were covered. Its also the first place I ever attempted to smoke a cigarett, not a good idea,smoke barreld out of the half moon.Another one of those beating the hell out of me episodes as was smokeing, blasphemedGod. If you mentioned Gods Name you best be praying.

 

[Meerkat]

View attachment 41714
Jim

LOL< imagin kids or even young adults going to the outhouse.especially having to drop their pants in 0 degree weather. Or going in half asleep,closing ,latching the door to find out they just locked thenself up in dim lit small enclosure with a huge rattler.

 

[zannej]

I remember the first time I saw that pic (without that caption) and it drove me crazy. Not even a GFCI outlet in there! Seriously... But the beige outlet thing gave me a good laugh.

View attachment 41728

That's pretty impressive. I remember some stories of drunken bar fights involving wrestlers. One where some drunks in a bar picked a fight with Andre the Giant. He put up with them for awhile but they started hitting him & he finally got annoyed enough that he chased them out of the bar. They jumped into a car & tried to drive off, but he came out and flipped the car over on it's side. Cops arrived & found a bunch of drunks in a tipped over vehicle with the driver & passengers all claiming an angry giant turned the car over. It wasn't until the cops interviewed witnesses that they realized it wasn't just some BS story.
Another story involved the grandfather of Dwayne "the Rock" Johnson. Peter "Rocky" Maivia. Peter & his samoan wife were in a bar when some drunks picked a fight with them. Rather than punch the drunks, the couple started picking them up & throwing them out the door. The more people who came at them, the more they chucked out the door. When the police arrived, they tried to subdue the pair but got chucked out the door. Police report listed the two as the assailants and something like 23 victims. My father *almost* deported Peter, but it was self defense & no one was seriously harmed so he got to stay.

View attachment 41734
You can't fix stupid..

Jim

I saw one where a family was trying to load a couch into a car.
My best friend's ex has a kid who is about 11 or 12 who still can't figure out how to get the blocks in the holes. His half-sister (my friend's daughter) was able to do it before she was even a year old. Not really the boy's fault since both of his parents are what Carlos Mencia would call "dee dee dee".

LOL< imagin kids or even young adults going to the outhouse.especially having to drop their pants in 0 degree weather. Or going in half asleep,closing ,latching the door to find out they just locked thenself up in dim lit small enclosure with a huge rattler.

It makes me appreciate indoor plumbing and air conditioning so much more when I think about what life was like at the beginning of the last century. I remember an elderly friend telling me that bathing wasn't as common when he was younger because they didn't have water heaters so you would smell people before you saw them.
My paternal grandfather was born in 1903. He & his sisters had to use an outhouse when they were growing up. There was a hole in the back of the outhouse under the seat. One day when one of his sisters was on the port, he got a two-pronged stick, poked her in the behind & made a snake hissing sound. Said she flew out of there with her skirt above her head.
Snakes in the bathroom reminds me of one of my dad's coworkers who was on the toilet after the city had a sewer line breach. He felt something bump him from below, then a copperhead poked it's head up from between his legs. He jumped off the toilet, grabbed his gun and blasted the toilet, the shower, and the sink trying to get the snake. It got away. He ended up being constipated for almost two weeks afterward.

 

[zoomzoom]

OK, a fun video.

 

[Meerkat]

OK, a fun video.

Good one and they couldn't picked a better song, because those people could ' actaully dance'. Started taking lessons at like 5 yr old.

 

[bkt]

OK, a fun video.

OH LOOK! TALENT! What a rare treat these days.

 

[phideaux]

Jim

 

[phideaux]

Too true...

Jim

 

[Terri9630]

View attachment 40613

That is my youngest at the moment.

 

[LadyLocust]

OK, a fun video.

Awesome! I miss talented entertainment.

 

[Terri9630]

doing a Gibbs

We call it a "DiNozzo" because he was the main slapee.

 

[Cnsper]

We call it a "DiNozzo" because he was the main slapee.

 

[Terri9630]

View attachment 40932
Jim

That's going to be hard to turn corners with when its full....

 

[Terri9630]

This is @Terri9630's future:

View attachment 41143

Mine will have a few less feathers and a bit more salt.

 

[Frodo]

 

[Sentry18]

 

[Sentry18]

 

[Sentry18]

 

[Frodo]

View attachment 41806

DAMN... me too !!!
a cheese burger,fry, coke was $0.99
gas was $0.22

 

[RidgeRunner]

How to make your own Coronavirus face mask:.....funny

 

[Frodo]

How to make your own Coronavirus face mask:.....funny