Jokes and Humor
- Thread starter phideaux
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I liked it better with the checkered tableclothI remember that table...
Jim
, when there was radioactive stuff on it!Joke:
BBROUGBVGW It's been a long time since I thought of that.
I can't even remember where my color chart is... 
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You do not remember the Bad Boys song/poem??I can't even remember where my color chart is...
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Resistance is futile!
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The Ten Commandments for Technicians
- Beware the lightning that lurketh in the un-discharged capacitor, lest it cause thee to bounce upon thy buttocks in a most untechnician-like manner.
- Cause thou the switch that supplieth large quantities of juice to be opened and thusly tagged, that thy days in this earthly vale of tears be long.
- Prove to thyself that all circuits that radiateth and upon which thou worketh are grounded and thusly tagged lest they cause thee to make like a radiator, too.
- Tarry not amongst those fools that engageth in intentional shocks, for surely they are non-believers and are not long for this world.
- Take care that thou useth the proper method when thou takest the measure of a high voltage circuit lest thou incinerate both thyself and thy meter.
- Take care thou tampereth not with safety devices and interlocks, for this incureth the wrath of thy supervisor and bringeth the fury of the safety inspector upon thy head and shoulders.
- Work thou not on energized equipment, for if thou dost, thy fellow workers will surely buy beers for thy widow and console her in other ways.
- Service thou not equipment alone, for electrical cooking is a slothful process and thou wilst sizzle in thine own juices until thy Maker sees fit to end thy misery.
- Trifle thou not with radioactive tubes and substances lest thou commence to glow like unto a lightning bug and thy wife have no further use for thee except thy wages.
- Thou shalt not make unauthorized modifications to equipment, but causeth thou to be recorded all field changes and authorized modifications made by thee lest thy successor tear his hair out and go slowly mad in his attempt to decide what manner of creature hath made a nest in the wiring of such equipment.
Murphy’s law of inanimate reproduction states…
If you take something apart and put it back together often enough, eventually you'll have two of them.
If you take something apart and put it back together often enough, eventually you'll have two of them.
My brother was given a pup. He was whining so my wife put him in our bed. She said it's only for the night because he's scared. That was 13 years ago and he sleeps as close to me as he can get.
Rule one:
Dad is always right.
Rule two:
no kids and no pets in Dad's room.
Rule three:
Dad only says it once, after that the paddle comes off the wall.
Rule four:
Once drawn the paddle must be used.
Dad is always right.
Rule two:
no kids and no pets in Dad's room.
Rule three:
Dad only says it once, after that the paddle comes off the wall.
Rule four:
Once drawn the paddle must be used.
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I liked the station wagons where the back seat faced the car behind you. We would stick out our tongues at the car behind us.
Even better.
It's a wonder any of us are still alive.
It's a wonder any of us are still alive.
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Wait why was your brother scared of his pup
I reread what I wrote and it could use a little clarification.Wait why was your brother scared of his pup
She put the pup in our bed because the pup was scared.
My brother isn't scared of him but the pup made too much noise. He's handicapped (my brother) and noises bother him. The pup was given to him for his birthday. My wife is a soft touch so she really wanted to baby the pup. The dog has become mine I guess. At least the dog thinks so.
There were a bunch of girls in my family so in the back of the truck the boys sat on the lowered tailgate, girls to the front and sides. We were on a gravel road, grandpa driving. Us boys would stick down on foot to drag in the gravel.
We hit a bump and one boy fell off the tailgate. We could see him in the dust cloud turning backwards summersaults. All the kids were yelling for grandpa to stop… His window was down so he heard us but not what we were yelling. He had hearing aids… He’s yelling for us to shut up.
When we got to our destination grandpa gets out, looks around and says “Where’s Sam”? About 10 kids yelled back… “He fell out of the truck!!!!!”
Some of us rode back with grandpa to get Sam. He’s crying on the side of the road, skinned from head to toe… He thought we left him on purpose. It was FUNNY!
When we got back the 2nd time we got to listen to Sam yell as alcohol was used to clean all his road rash. That was even funnier! Poor kid!
We hit a bump and one boy fell off the tailgate. We could see him in the dust cloud turning backwards summersaults. All the kids were yelling for grandpa to stop… His window was down so he heard us but not what we were yelling. He had hearing aids… He’s yelling for us to shut up.
When we got to our destination grandpa gets out, looks around and says “Where’s Sam”? About 10 kids yelled back… “He fell out of the truck!!!!!”
Some of us rode back with grandpa to get Sam. He’s crying on the side of the road, skinned from head to toe… He thought we left him on purpose. It was FUNNY!
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We rode on the tailgate & when Dad hit a bump some one whould fall off in the dirt driveway & walk to the house.
Never any cuts to spoke of.
Never any cuts to spoke of.
