Jokes and Humor

[Sparky_D]

 

[dademoss]

 

[Meerkat]

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN GUILTY OF LOOKING AT OTHERS YOUR OWN AGE AND THINKING, SURELY I CAN'T LOOK THAT OLD? WELL......YOU'LL LOVE THIS ONE!

MY NAME IS ALICE SMITH AND I WAS SITTING IN THE WAITING ROOM FOR MY FIRST APPOINTMENT WITH A NEW DENTIST. I NOTICED HIS DENTAL DIPLOMA, WHICH BORE HIS FULL NAME.

SUDDENLY, I REMEMBERED A TALL, HANDSOME, DARK HAIRED BOY WITH THE SAME NAME HAD BEEN IN MY SECONDARY SCHOOL CLASS SOME 30-ODD YEARS AGO.

COULD HE BE THE SAME GUY THAT I HAD A SECRET CRUSH ON, WAY BACK THEN?

UPON SEEING HIM, HOWEVER, I QUICKLY DISCARDED ANY SUCH THOUGHT.

THIS BALDING, GREY HAIRED MAN WITH THE DEEPLY LINED FACE WAS FAR TOO OLD TO HAVE BEEN MY CLASSMATE. AFTER HE EXAMINED MY TEETH, I ASKED HIM IF HE HAD ATTENDED MORGAN PARK SECONDARY SCHOOL .

'YES, YES I DID. I'M A MORGANNER! 'HE BEAMED WITH PRIDE.

'WHEN DID YOU LEAVE TO GO TO COLLEGE?' I ASKED

HE ANSWERED, IN 1965. WHY DO YOU ASK?

'YOU WERE IN MY CLASS!' I EXCLAIMED.

HE LOOKED AT ME CLOSELY.

THEN THE UGLY,

OLD,

BALD,

WRINKLED,

FAT ARSED,

GREY HAIRED,

DECREPIT,

BASTARD ASKED..

'WHAT DID YOU TEACH?'

joke of the day ! @zoomzoom

 

[The Lazy L]

 

[zoomzoom]

 

[Sparky_D]

 

[Amish Heart]

That's a real big sorry. When husband was brewing beer, I'd have him cook it outside, just in case it boiled over.

 

[Mr.Meer]

 

[Mr.Meer]

 

[bkt]

View attachment 45712

She's a keeper.

 

[dademoss]

 

[The Lazy L]

That's a real big sorry. When husband was brewing beer, I'd have him cook it outside, just in case it boiled over.

My wife use to store Tupperware in the oven. That's until one day she preheated the oven. The smell of melting plastic remind her to remove the Tubberware. I'm the one that got to cut plastic out of the oven.

 

[phideaux]

Jim

 

[phideaux]

Jim

 

[phideaux]

Jim

 

[Mr.Meer]

 

[Mr.Meer]

 

[phideaux]

I'm still laughing...



Jim

 

[dademoss]

 

[Mr.Meer]

 

[Mr.Meer]

 

[zoomzoom]

 

[Meerkat]

View attachment 45720

Jim

My daughter and her dog who now doesen't like kids since she she took custody.
.Daughter said just yesterday the dog was tryign to run through the sliding glass doors ot escape the kids she was left alone with while daughter sat on patio.she said the look on Juliets face was pure panic. LOL.

 

[rusty]

 

[phideaux]

Jim

 

[phideaux]

Jim

 

[Bacpacker]

Prayin to the resistance???

 

[backlash]

Prayin to the resistance???

That was a good one.

 

[Supervisor42]

View attachment 45768
Jim

Brown - black - yellow, gold band....100K OHM, 5% tolerance.
I used them on "Flashlight's" circuit board.

 

[phideaux]

Brown - black - yellow, gold band....100K OHM, 5% tolerance.
I used them on "Flashlight's" circuit board.

Wisenheimer.

Jim