Jokes and Humor

angie_nrs · Jul 15, 2020

zoomzoom said:

My dog would disagree whole heartedly with that.

LadyLocust · Jul 15, 2020

zoomzoom said:

This wasn't far from where we were last weekend. There was an earthquake. Huge slide of which they were able to clear and make the road passable, then there was another slide. It's 95 south of Riggins ID.

LadyLocust · Jul 15, 2020

Mr.Meer said:
View attachment 46480

Bet the metal isn't as thick as on the old ones

backlash · Jul 15, 2020

zoomzoom said:

The 10-second rule does not apply to bacon. No matter how long it on the floor it is still good to eat.

angie_nrs · Jul 15, 2020

Yeah.....just gotta beat the damn dogs to it!
Ya better be quick!

angie_nrs · Jul 15, 2020

backlash · Jul 15, 2020

angie_nrs said:
Yeah.....just gotta beat the damn dogs to it!
Ya better be quick!

I had not thought of the dogs. Ours are very fast and they don't know the difference between food and finger.

Mr.Meer · Jul 15, 2020

LadyLocust said:
Bet the metal isn't as thick as on the old ones

It's been thinner and thinner for years.

Mr.Meer · Jul 15, 2020

Mr.Meer · Jul 16, 2020

phideaux · Jul 16, 2020

Diplomacy..

Jim

joel · Jul 16, 2020

Mr.Meer said:
View attachment 46535

Where I live girls/women own their on guns.

zoomzoom · Jul 16, 2020

A couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things. During a check-up, the doctor tells them that they're physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember..Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair. 'Want anything while I'm in the kitchen?' he asks.

'Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?'

'Sure.'

'Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?' she asks.

'No, I can remember it.''Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. Maybe you should write it down, so as not to forget it?'

He says, 'I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries.'

'I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, write it down?' she asks.

Irritated, he says, 'I don't need to write it down, I can remember it! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream - I got it, for goodness sake!'. Then he toddles into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes, the old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs. She stares at the plate for a moment.

Where's my toast?'