Jokes and Humor

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[Mr.Meer]

 

[dademoss]

 

[Terri9630]

Thought I would share these. There is a passle of 'em.

Your exceeding the limits of my nerve medication!!!

 

[Mr.Meer]

 

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[phideaux]

Jim

 

[SheepDog]

Mens ears work for the subtle sounds. They are insensitive to whining, shrieking and repetitive sounds. Like a good guard dog.

 

[Cnsper]

 

[backlash]

My ears stopped working years ago. I lost almost all high frequency and that is the range most women speak.
I didn't hear a word my MIL said for the last 7 years of her life. She thought I was the most agreeable person alive because I just shook my head yes a lot.

 

[phideaux]

Probably one of my neighbors...

Jim

 

[Bacpacker]

View attachment 47112
Probably one of my neighbors...

Jim

Now that would cool your butt down

 

[Peanut]

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Probably one of my neighbors...

Jim

Disappointing... he didn't put the unit on a slide in carriage built from scrap lumber... He loses the discount coupon on his next roll of duct tape...

 

[Caribou]

Timing is everything.

"Hello, is this the Veterinarian?"

A dog lover, whose dog was a female and "in heat', agreed to look after her neighbor's male dog while the neighbors were on vacation.

She had a large house and believed that she could keep the two dogs apart. However, as she was drifting off to sleep she heard awful howling and moaning sounds, rushed downstairs and found the dogs locked together in obvious pain and unable to disengage, as so frequently happens when dogs mate.

Unable to separate them, and perplexed as to what to do next, although it was late, she called the vet, who answered in a very grumpy voice.

Having explained the problem to him, the vet said, "Hang up the phone and place it down alongside the dogs. I will then call you back and the noise of the ringing will make the male lose his erection and he will be able to withdraw."

Do you really think that will work?" she asked.

"Just worked for me," he replied.

 

[dademoss]

 

[Mr.Meer]

 

[Meerkat]

Finding funny people who don't get vulgar is not easy, but I like this man and a couple others who give us a laaugh now and then,

 

[Mr.Meer]

 

[backlash]

If women came with an instruction manual it would be outdated immediately and the constant updates would never stop and you are correct, men wouldn't read it.
We slept in 4" of water because I didn't read the instructions on how to set up a borrowed tent.
Who would have thought the poles went on the inside?

 

[Caribou]

My woman came with instruction. An unending string of instructions. All directed at me.

 

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