Jokes and Humor

[Neb]

I’m in my 60’s and I’m a victim of ‘new math’. Right in elementary school when I should have been getting a foundation in math. Truly, it ruined any hope of me understanding math.

When I was in high school, I wash a cashier at a department store. Does anyone remember Zayre? Anyway, I had a definite knack for jacking change. Give me a $20 for a $16.72 purchase? seventy three, seventy four, seventy five, $17, 18,18,20.
So, three pennies, a quarter and three singles.

That sounds like the method my mother (a grocery cash register operator) taught me.

Pennies to get to a multiple of 5 10 25...

Start counting with the purchase total then count change to match the tendered bill.

I may have been subjected to "new math" but it treated me well and I exploited that in mist of my life.

But Common Core Math

I spent hours watching Youtube videos trying to understand the specialized vocabulary that must be understood to answer common core math questions.

Mind you I have studied various forms of mathematics (quantum mechanics, complex variables, linear algebra and matrix operations..) but common core uses term I and my kids never heard about.

But that is what my granddaughters have had to go through.

Ben

 

[Supervisor42]

I may have been subjected to "new math" but it treated me well and I exploited that in mist of my life.

But Common Core Math...

The 'new math' was not all that bad, especially if you are doing math in your head.
Take 368 X 3= what?
Sounds tough, right?

No pencil or calculator needed with 'the new math'.
68 is just 2 short of 70. (-2)
3 X 70 = 210
3 X 300 = 900
Nine, ten, 1110.
Subtract the 3 X -2 (-6) and you get 1104. (Feel free to check my math)
...yeah I know, young people just punched it into their phone . That is the joke.

 

[winds-of-change]

That sounds like the method my mother (a grocery cash register operator) taught me.

Pennies to get to a multiple of 5 10 25...

Start counting with the purchase total then count change to match the tendered bill.

I may have been subjected to "new math" but it treated me well and I exploited that in mist of my life.

But Common Core Math

I spent hours watching Youtube videos trying to understand the specialized vocabulary that must be understood to answer common core math questions.

Mind you I have studied various forms of mathematics (quantum mechanics, complex variables, linear algebra and matrix operations..) but common core uses term I and my kids never heard about.

But that is what my granddaughters have had to go through.

Ben

My Mom was a book keeper at a bank. She taught us kids about money, checking accounts, etc. And to always use a black ink pen. To this day, I cringe if I’m forced to use a blue ink pen. She taught us how to count change, too.

The 'new math' is not all that bad, especially if you are doing math in your head.
Take 368 X 3= what?
Sounds tough, right?

No pencil or calculator needed with 'the new math'.
68 is just 2 short of 70. (-2)
3 X 70 = 210
3 X 300 = 900
Nine, ten, 1110.
Subtract the 3 X -2 (-6) and you get 1104. (Feel free to check my math)
...yeah I know, young people just punched it into their phone . That is the joke.

My husband has a Master’s degree in math and a second Master’s degree in mechanical engineering. Your way of figuring out that equation sounds like something he would do. It makes my head spin. I would need pencil and paper.

 

[dademoss]

I’m in my 60’s and I’m a victim of ‘new math’. Right in elementary school when I should have been getting a foundation in math. Truly, it ruined any hope of me understanding math.

When I was in high school, I wash a cashier at a department store. Does anyone remember Zayre? Anyway, I had a definite knack for jacking change. Give me a $20 for a $16.72 purchase? seventy three, seventy four, seventy five, $17, 18,18,20.
So, three pennies, a quarter and three singles.

Oh, the Christmas Eve purchases I used to make at Zayre . Thanks for the memories

 

[Supervisor42]

My husband has a Master’s degree in math and a second Master’s degree in mechanical engineering. Your way Lof figuring out that equation sounds like something he would do. It makes my head spin. I would need pencil and paper.

It's ok. What little I know about common-core math, it goes something like this:

"Did you answer the question?"
"Did you ask anybody to answer the question for you?"
"How did they feel about giving you the answer?"
"More importantly, did you feel the answer was correct?"
"If the answer was incorrect, you shouldn't feel bad, because it is not your fault."
"You did your best and you have earned 4 gold stars!!!"
You should feel great about that!
"Oh, and you have been awarded a Unicorn for being so brave!"
(if that is not a joke, I don't know what is).

 

[rusty]

A signature doesn't have to be even close to your name just as long as you sign the same way all the time. Make the first letters look like the letter and the rest can be a squiggly line.
When a cashier says to sign the card reader I just scribble on the pad.
My wife signs my name so often if I ever do sign a check they probably won't accept it.

Years ago, CBS had a producer open a bank account. Various ones of the staff wrote checks signing different names to them. One even signed them Mickey Mouse, they all cleared the bank.

 

[Supervisor42]

Years ago, CBS had a producer open a bank account. Various ones of the staff wrote checks signing different names to them. One even signed them Mickey Mouse, they all cleared the bank.

Mine have cleared unsigned several times before.
The girls at the bank just look at the rest of my handwriting on the check and know it's me.
They just look at each other and say: "he forgot again".

 

[Peanut]

 

[Peanut]

 

[Lucky2beAlive]

That one got me good @Peanut !

 

[Peanut]

That one got me good @Peanut !

Hey, I don't write them, just find them... That one is pretty good! I get most of the ones I post from Gab. But even those guys have off weeks, nothing they write is funny.

 

[joel]

A knowledgeable person at my credit union once told me (after complimenting me on the legibility of my signature) that the common one-letter-then-squiggle signature is relatively easy to forge for check passing purposes. FYI, YMMV.

I never thought of that, I do the one letter on a lot of things, but never a legal document, which a check is. On thing where the ask me to sign for a record that I find unimportant, I fake it.

 

[dademoss]

 

[Camalot]

View attachment 68193

I always tell the cashiers to be careful not to smear the ink as it might not be dry because I just made the bill that morning.

 

[Camalot]

It's ok. What little I know about common-core math, it goes something like this:

"Did you answer the question?"
"Did you ask anybody to answer the question for you?"
"How did they feel about giving you the answer?"
"More importantly, did you feel the answer was correct?"
"If the answer was incorrect, you shouldn't feel bad, because it is not your fault."
"You did your best and you have earned 4 gold stars!!!"
You should feel great about that!
"Oh, and you have been awarded a Unicorn for being so brave!"
(if that is not a joke, I don't know what is).

barack obama promised us all unicorns so I'm not falling for that one again! lol

 

[rusty]

 

[dademoss]

 

[VThillman]

View attachment 68238

LOL. I stared at that a few seconds before the comment sunk in.

 

[dademoss]

 

[rusty]

 

[Terri9630]

Were many people who are now in their 30s subjected to New Math? Being in my 80s, I wasn't - but I've heard rumors.

It started when my youngest was in 2nd or 3rd grade, she's 20.

 

[jazzy]

 

[jazzy]

 

[jazzy]

 

[jazzy]

 

[dademoss]

 

[dademoss]

 

[phideaux]

Jim

 

[Pearl]

View attachment 68274

Jim

Haha Keith!

 

[Bacpacker]

Janis, Ozzy, and Morrison I can see for sure.