Jokes and Humor

[idragrace]

So this is why we have the question "which came first, the chicken or the egg?"

 

[Terri9630]

Now, tell me, you wouldn't buy this...

View attachment 589

Jim

I actually HAVE some of that! 2 rolls. Its really rough and will be the last to "go".

 

[Weedygarden]

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Jim

I once had a student tell me that they served chicken in the cafeteria that was nasty because it had bones in it.It was everything I could to keep a straight face.

 

[BBQJoe]

I once had a student tell me that they served chicken in the cafeteria that was nasty because it had bones in it.It was everything I could to keep a straight face.

It's probably because they used canned chicken.
You ever see a whole cooked chicken in a can?
No one should ever see it, nor eat it.

 

[The Innkeeper]

It's probably because they used canned chicken.
You ever see a whole cooked chicken in a can?
No one should ever see it, nor eat it.

I actually like whole canned chicken bones and all, but there is no accounting for taste. You would be amazed at the things I have eaten and enjoyed around the world. Maybe that's an idea for another thread .. what is the strangest thing you have eaten?

 

[BBQJoe]

I actually like whole canned chicken bones and all, but there is no accounting for taste. You would be amazed at the things I have eaten and enjoyed around the world. Maybe that's an idea for another thread .. what is the strangest thing you have eaten?

I'm betting what they do, is put a baby chick in that #5 can, and keep him there as it grows up.
As soon as it's absolutely squashed in there, they lop off it's head, stamp a lid on it, then toss it into the cooker.

 

[Custos]

Now I suppose this story could go in with the food preservation thread but it's funny so I'll post it here. I've been told I should post it because you all would love it

Anyway, a few years ago I bought a 5lb bag of apples (red delicious I believe) and dehydrated them into apple chips which I stored in a vacuum sealed bag.

A few weeks later I decided on a snack of apple chips and set down to eat them while watching a movie.

I was a bit absent minded because of the movie and before I knew it, I had eaten the entire bag of apple chips.....5lbs worth of apples!

Now my first thought at discovering this was "Uh oh". Boy was I right. Your intestines are not meant to handle 5lbs of apples in one sitting. I thought for a few moments that I might actually die. However, if you need a natural laxative, I recommend 5lbs of dehydrated apple chips.

 

[gumpy]

Now I suppose this story could go in with the food preservation thread but it's funny so I'll post it here. I've been told I should post it because you all would love it

Anyway, a few years ago I bought a 5lb bag of apples (red delicious I believe) and dehydrated them into apple chips which I stored in a vacuum sealed bag.

A few weeks later I decided on a snack of apple chips and set down to eat them while watching a movie.

I was a bit absent minded because of the movie and before I knew it, I had eaten the entire bag of apple chips.....5lbs worth of apples!

Now my first thought at discovering this was "Uh oh". Boy was I right. Your intestines are not meant to handle 5lbs of apples in one sitting. I thought for a few moments that I might actually die. However, if you need a natural laxative, I recommend 5lbs of dehydrated apple chips.

I'll remember this the next time that I have to prep for a colonoscopy!

 

[bargeahead]

 

[Weedygarden]

We should all buy some of these as stocking stuffers! Hilarious!

 

[Weedygarden]

It's probably because they used canned chicken.
You ever see a whole cooked chicken in a can?
No one should ever see it, nor eat it.

I remember in the 1970s when we could buy a whole chicken in a can. I actually have looked for them relative to preparedness. It has been decades since I saw one, and I have no idea how good or bad they really are.

 

[Sentry18]

I remember in the 1970s when we could buy a whole chicken in a can. I actually have looked for them relative to preparedness. It has been decades since I saw one, and I have no idea how good or bad they really are.

I think you still can buy them.

 

[backlash]

We should all buy some of these as stocking stuffers! Hilarious!

I may have to get one for my Granddaughter.
I actually did buy her an iPad but this would be so funny,

 

[TMT Tactical]

I think you still can buy them.

View attachment 664

Looked for it and it can be bought / ordered from Amazon for various prices. 50 once cans - single or in multi-packs. Learned something new again.

 

[phideaux]

You had to be a Honeymooners fan...

\
Jim

 

[Sentry18]

 

[BBQJoe]

Open one of those canned chickens, and it's all gelatin and water, then there's the wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy overcooked chicken, with the bones that just crumble and fall into little bits.
This is something you give to someone you hate.

 

[Sentry18]

 

[phideaux]

Jim

 

[Cnsper]

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Jim

Taco Bell is not Mexican food.

 

[phideaux]

The wife told me to help clean the house....I tried...



Jim

 

[Sentry18]

Taco Bell is not Mexican food.

I don't know. Every time I walk in Taco Bell with my raid jacket on half of their cooks take off running, and they all look Mexican.

 

[gumpy]

 

[Amish Heart]

We have a glass door like that at our preschool that is in the dining room and takes you out to the playground. I came in one day and one of our employees put a sign on it saying, "Don't lick the door".

 

[phideaux]

Jim

 

[Sentry18]

 

[phideaux]

The 11th...

Jim

 

[BBQJoe]

Let's not forget, people choose this job.

 

[phideaux]

Let's not forget, people choose this job.

Same as with our military now,

I am so glad they choose to protect us.



Jim

 

[Redbeard]

Hmmm is this you're dog @Redbeard?

View attachment 562

Hahaha! Yup, very much so...