Jokes and Humor

[UrbanHunter]

Tonight is President Biden's State of the Union Address, it starts at 9PM EST so this may be one of the first State of the Union Addresses where the president slept through it.....

 

[dademoss]

Tonight is President Biden's State of the Union Address, it starts at 9PM EST so this may be one of the first State of the Union Addresses where the president slept through it.....
View attachment 81416

I know I will sleep through it.

 

[backlash]

I'll just wait for all the memes. They should be good.

 

[Cascadian]

Like skipping the Superbowl and watching the commercials the next day.

 

[dademoss]

Well , already missed 10 minutes of the great pretender.

thank you !

Who want to play my bingo card?

 

[Amish Heart]

He's patting himself on the back and stuttering on some words already

 

[Amish Heart]

He's talking about how much the middle class has grown! And we are so much better off than when people were lining up for miles in their cars for boxes of food. And now he says we can expect an infrastructure decade that will transform America

 

[LadyLocust]

He's talking about how much the middle class has grown! And we are so much better off than when people were lining up for miles in their cars for boxes of food. And now he says we can expect an infrastructure decade that will transform America

Decomposing is a transformation.

 

[Amish Heart]

He's promising so much free stuff, the only way to achieve it all free is to nationalize everything. Senior places, childcare facilities. Also going after businesses raising their prices. Socialism.
How about stop printing money, Joe?
He is not giving up on vaccinating all Americans. He says he's ordered lots of Pfizer pills. And you can get tested at a Pharmacy for covid and get pills right then at no cost to anybody. Free tests to your doorstep. And if you got some already, get some more. He will be ready for the next variant.

 

[phideaux]

Jim

 

[Amish Heart]

I'm still in the jokes and humor section.
Ha Ha

 

[phideaux]

Jim

 

[joel]

View attachment 81437

Jim

It will not be funny in a few months.

 

[UrbanHunter]

It will not be funny in a few months.

Few MONTHS!!! I paid over $4/gallon last night... Biden has accomplished a lot! In less than a year he has done what it took O'bomer 8 years to screw up.... Fuel/energy cost/security, economy, national security... Yep he is the equivalent of a liberal superman

He even found a way to keep mature Americans working; by blowing a hole in the bottom of their 401K retirement boat.

 

[Morgan101]

Paraprosdokians are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected and is frequently humorous.

1. Where there's a will, I want to be in it
2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you ... but it's still on my list.
3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
5. We never really grow up -- we only learn how to act in public.
6. War does not determine who is right, only who is left.
7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
8. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
9. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
10. In filling out an application, where it says, "In case of emergency, notify..." I answered "a doctor."
11. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
12. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
13. I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.
14. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
15. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian, any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
16. You're never too old to learn something stupid.

 

[INresponse]

 

[Bacpacker]

View attachment 81468

Farm girls don't ya know

 

[Morgan101]

View attachment 81468

Takes me back to our Big 8 days. Love it.

 

[Caribou]

 

[Caribou]

 

[DrJenner]

 

[Caribou]

 

[joel]

View attachment 81501

I am so glad I am a men. If I were a woman I hurt those bums if they treated me that way.

 

[backlash]

If I were a woman I would defiantly be a lesbian. NO way would I put up with some guys crap.

 

[viking]

I know I will sleep through it.

I did but the incessant clapping of the seals kept waking me up.

 

[Neb]

If I were a woman I would defiantly be a lesbian. NO way would I put up with some guys crap.

Yes but...

If it weren't for some women being able to put up with and manage those encumbered with testosterone, the human race would go the way of the Amazons.

That is why God programed men to serve the gentler...



Ben

 

[Caribou]

If I were a woman I would defiantly be a lesbian. NO way would I put up with some guys crap.

What do you mean, would be? I am a lesbian, trapped in a man's body.

 

[backlash]

A country bumpkin walks into a bar. He sees 2 good looking women and tell the bartender to give them a drink. The bartender tells him to save his money they're lesbians. He says what's a lesbian, bartender says go ask them. So he does. They tell him a lesbian doesn't have sex with men. He yells "Bartender bring us lesbian a drink."

 

[LadyLocust]

 

[Peanut]