Jokes and Humor
- Thread starter phideaux
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So you're saying, from the bottom up: whipped cream, pumpkin pie, whipped cream, pecan pie, whipped cream? I'm in....It should be pecan pie on top.
That is how my mom eats pie!
I am NOT your mom!
I don't like pie or whipped cream so . . . . I didn't get that from her.I am NOT your mom!
I know someone who shot through his ceiling trying to kill the squirrel in his attic! Yep!
Noooooo!
- Joined
- Dec 8, 2017
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That sums up my mechanical ability perfectly. I'm not allowed to use anything more complicated without adult supervision.
A thing of precision is beauty to behold! Bayonets attached no less!
There’s a memory thats stayed with me all these years. The first time I saw precision marching. I’d just arrived in boot camp. 100 guys and myself were herded like cattle to the chow hall. Still in bluejeans, a bunch of civilians. We didn’t know how to march much less form a single line from nonexistent columns. We were standing in front of the chow hall trying to figure this out when…
A female company marched up to the space beside us. They were a week from graduation. Perfect in appearance (per military dress)… and they could march. They came up the street in 6 columns and made a perfect right turn into the empty space, every girl in perfect step and stopped instantly with one sound. Those girls could march!!!
I was impressed, I remember watching them as they came up the street. The rest of the time I felt bad for the girls in boot camp. Badly fitted dumpy uniforms (a sack would have fit better), no makeup, no hair or nail care and many with birth control glasses. As women they looked like hell… but they could march!
Haha, Peanut, that reminds me of the D&C competition we had in OSUT (Basic & AIT) training at Sand Hill (D-3-1) in Fort Benning, Georgia... that's 'Drill & Ceremony' for those who've never served in the Armed Forces. Our Platoon Sergeant was hardcore, and HE decided WE (2nd Platoon) were gonna WIN that competition, right? So we practiced and drilled and learned all kinds of cool maneuvers, including one called 'PASS ARMS'---that's where the platoon marches in a column, the guys in the last rank have no weapons, and on a given command, the marching troops leave their rifles standing alone on the asphalt D&C area, and the next troops pick up those rifles and march onward, then the column reverses and the troops do it all over again. A very sharp maneuver when done correctly... 
Now, here's the rub: EVERY SINGLE TIME we practiced this maneuver before the competition, some dumb@$$ dropped an M-16 and we ALL had to do mondo pushups... sheeee-it, we pushed Georgia to Florida trying to learn that goldurned D&C maneuver, lol. But when the BIG DAY arrived and all the families & brass were in the reviewing stands, well, we seamlessly pulled that maneuver TWICE without a SINGLE RIFLE clattering to the ground, lol. Not ONE!!! It was some kinda miracle, divine intervention or whatever, but we actually WON that D&C competition on the strength of that maneuver! It's NOT the sort of accomplishment one usually associates with Arrrrrghmy training, but by God, we did it, and it must have looked HELLER COOL to everybody in the stands, including the Brigade Commander, lol.
Edit: OSUT was military jargon for 'One Station Unit Training' under the "new regiment" of USA INF soldiers in '82.
Now, here's the rub: EVERY SINGLE TIME we practiced this maneuver before the competition, some dumb@$$ dropped an M-16 and we ALL had to do mondo pushups... sheeee-it, we pushed Georgia to Florida trying to learn that goldurned D&C maneuver, lol. But when the BIG DAY arrived and all the families & brass were in the reviewing stands, well, we seamlessly pulled that maneuver TWICE without a SINGLE RIFLE clattering to the ground, lol. Not ONE!!! It was some kinda miracle, divine intervention or whatever, but we actually WON that D&C competition on the strength of that maneuver! It's NOT the sort of accomplishment one usually associates with Arrrrrghmy training, but by God, we did it, and it must have looked HELLER COOL to everybody in the stands, including the Brigade Commander, lol.
Edit: OSUT was military jargon for 'One Station Unit Training' under the "new regiment" of USA INF soldiers in '82.
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I bet by the end of basic several of them were looking much better to all yallThere’s a memory thats stayed with me all these years. The first time I saw precision marching. I’d just arrived in boot camp. 100 guys and myself were herded like cattle to the chow hall. Still in bluejeans, a bunch of civilians. We didn’t know how to march much less form a single line from nonexistent columns. We were standing in front of the chow hall trying to figure this out when…
A female company marched up to the space beside us. They were a week from graduation. Perfect in appearance (per military dress)… and they could march. They came up the street in 6 columns and made a perfect right turn into the empty space, every girl in perfect step and stopped instantly with one sound. Those girls could march!!!
I was impressed, I remember watching them as they came up the street. The rest of the time I felt bad for the girls in boot camp. Badly fitted dumpy uniforms (a sack would have fit better), no makeup, no hair or nail care and many with birth control glasses. As women they looked like hell… but they could march!
